"I want them to have this burning desire in them to never forget, to visit his grave, to want to name their children after him. I fear that he will fall in the background only to be thought of ever so occasionally."
Paula, I know of this 'burning desire'. How could we 'not' want our children to be remembered?
For whatever reason others have to not mention our children, it still can be very hurtful. Some will say they don't mention their name in fear of upsetting us. Well, we're already upset and I've found that some are just uncomfortable, not all, but some.
And, I also understand how painful it can be, especially when we have 'asked them' to talk about our children. Sometimes it's very difficult for others to give of themselves. It's at these times, when they are thinking of their 'own' comfort or discomfort.
It 'never' hurts.....to be KIND!
I even had a good friend who is no longer in my life because she was, at least, honest enough to tell me that she was "uncomfortable around me" because my son and her son were best friends, and if 'it' could happen to me, then 'it' could also happen to her.
It's up to me to keep the memory of my children alive. And, I do in every day and in every way.
I printed out an article to give to family and friends and they really appreciated it and it contained the Do's and Don't's when you are supporting someone you love who has lost a child. It really helped me, Paula and others who really wanted to help.
I've been looking for it, it's been so long, because I wanted to post it on here for you and anyone else who would benefit from this caring article.
I'm still searching and promise I will post it as soon as I find it.
I understand everything you're feeling, Paula and my heart goes out to you.
Keeping you in my thoughts and sending my love,
Terry