Pete,
There is a book that I believe sums up the profound grief that we feel, yet provides an illustration of how we might find our way out of the darkness, and learn to live with the pain, while regaining a happy fulfilled live again.
It is called A Grace Disguised-- how the soul grows through loss. It is written by Jerry Sittser, published by Zondervan. It may be hard to read it too soon after the loss, as he is very honest about the trauma and the fact that it will not be a thing we can escape. But he does show how he progressed to a way of learning to accept and live with it, and still find joy and peace and happiness in our lives.
One of his thougts is "The experience of loss does not have to be the defining moment of our lives. Instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It is not what happens to us that matters so much as what happens, in us." This man lost his mother, wife and youngest daughter due to a car accident in which he was driving. He certainly dove into the depths of despair, but he embraced it instead of trying to deny it. Through his difficult experience, he found a way to acknowledge that this hideous thing happened and he will always live with that, yet he has enlarged his soul to allow for happiness and fulfillment in his life.
It is written from a Christian perspective, and does make reference to Biblical concepts, but not at all in a preachy way, only in the since that this man opens his wounded heart and soul and bares all of his feelings and beliefs.
If you read it, do so with the knowledge that you must read the whole book in order to get the total perspective. The first part of the book deals more with pain and its relentless nature. And don't read it before going to bed.
I hope this will help. Peace to all of us,
mousewife
