Many if not most of the adversities of life, including grief and bereavement, can be faced with a great deal more equanimity where these problems have not adversely one's psychological make-up:
""A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accommodate such actions. ~ Children sometimes grow up in such families with the understanding that such an arrangement is normal. ~ Dsyfunctional familes are most often a result of the alcoholism, substance abuse, or other addictions of parents, parents' untreated mental illnesses/defects or personality disorders, or the parents emulating their own dysfunctional parents and dsyfunctional family experiences.
[edit] Behavior patterns
Dysfunctional family members have common symptoms and behavior patterns as a result of their common experiences within the family structure. ~ This tends to reinforce the dysfunctional behavior, either through enabling or perpetuation. ~ The family unit can be affected by a variety of factors.
According to Steven Farmer, the author of Adult Children of Abusive Parents, [1] there are several symptoms of family dysfunction:
* Denial (i.e. ~ a refusal to acknowledge the alcoholism of a parent; ignoring complaints of sexual abuse)
* Inconsistency and Unpredictability
* Lack of Empathy toward family members
* Lack of clear boundaries (i.e. ~ throwing away personal possessions that belong to others, inappropriate touching, etc.)
* Role reversals ("parentifying" children)
* "Closed family system" (a socially isolated family that discourages relationships with outsiders)
* Mixed Messages
* Extremes in Conflict (either too much or too little fighting between family members)
Dr. ~ Dan Neuharth, author of If You Had Controlling Parents also expounds on dysfunctional families. ~ (He uses the terms "controlling parents", "unhealthy control" and "over control" throughout his book.) He cites eight signs of unhealthy parenting: [2]
* Conditional love
* Disrespect
* Stifled speech (children not allowed to dissent or question authority)
* Emotional intolerance (family members not allowed to express the "wrong" emotions)
* Ridicule
* "Dogmatic or chaotic parenting" (harsh and inflexible discipline)
* "Denial of an Inner Life (children are not allowed to develop their own value system)
* Social dyfunction or isolation
Neuharth also lists eight diferent parenting styles which cause family dysfunction: [3]
* Smothering (parents do not allow their children to maintain a separate identity)
* Using (destructively narcissistic parents)
* Abusing (parents who use physical, verbal, or sexual violence to dominate their children)
* Chaotic (unstable parents who behave in a wildly inconsistent manner with their kids)
* Perfectionistic( parents who "fixate on order, prestige, power, and/or perfect appearances".)
* Cultlike (parents who feel uncertain and "raise their children according to rigid rules and roles".)
* Depriving (parents who control by withholding love, money, praise, attention, or anything else their child needs or wants.)
* Childlike (parents who parentify their children. ~ They tend to be needy and incompetent. ~ Usually allow the other parent to abuse children.)
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/dysfunctional-family-as-a-cause-of-difficult-childhood.html