Author Topic: Dark Emotions  (Read 62636 times)

sevenofwands

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Dark Emotions
« Reply #30 on: January 25, 2012, 05:56:53 AM »
This is an interesting and IMO helpful article on the topic of gref and grieving.
Many other useful articles too on this site.

http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/grief-and-the-grieving-process/

Excerpt

"We tend to talk about grief and the grieving process as if it were a separate category of emotional experience altogether,  different somehow from all the others.  Because it means confronting death, mortality and ultimate loss, the grieving process does have a uniquely large and pervasive impact on our psyches; from another point of view, however, grief is but one of the  emotions and when it becomes unbearable, we will ward it off in our characteristic ways.  In other words, when people go through the grieving process, you will often see them resort to their habitual defenses."

sevenofwands

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Will I ever be good enough?
« Reply #31 on: February 14, 2012, 12:30:31 PM »
There can be few griefs like the stinging grief of a painful childhood.
In view of topics currently being discussed on the forum I thought I would put up this excellent book

A book:  "Will I ever be good enough" by Dr. Karyl McBride

"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, gives a voice to the feelings these daughters have buried, offers them insight into the origins of their pain, and provides a blueprint for healing that can be personally tailored to each reader. Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, explains the narcissistic mother dynamics to adult daughters and provides them with strategies so that they can begin to overcome their legacy of distorted love and enjoy their lives more fully. "


sevenofwands

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Frozen Grief...
« Reply #32 on: February 27, 2012, 01:53:31 PM »
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life  by
Susan Forward
http://www.susanforward.com/author.htm

Review:

"A toxic parent on the other hand is an individual whose behaviour scars and harms their child/ren to such a degree that often it can seem like the there can be no resolution to the damage caused. As a result the children grow into adulthood feeling inadequate, unloved and worthless.
This book is about and at the same time is for those adult children.
"

sevenofwands

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Grief and depression
« Reply #33 on: March 06, 2012, 06:37:57 AM »
IMO this is a very sensible article by Dr. Joe Carver

http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/DEPRESSION%20-%20Causes,%20Symptoms,%20and%20Treatment.html

"Sudden Severe Loss In this situation, the individual has experienced a sudden, perhaps surprising severe loss. This loss may be the death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of friendship, or other grief process. In this type of depression, the patient can clearly identify what is creating the depressed mood. "


sevenofwands

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Other Griefs and Grieving
« Reply #34 on: March 08, 2012, 11:11:58 AM »

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #35 on: March 08, 2012, 04:44:34 PM »

There are some wonderful articles on this site, "Emerging from Broken." Thanks for posting this, Seven!

sevenofwands

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Women, Mourning and Grief
« Reply #36 on: April 03, 2012, 12:18:47 PM »
http://www.estronaut.com/a/women_grief_mourning.htm

An excerpt:

Three Types Of Abnormal Grief
Chronic or Dependent Grief When a woman's identity and self-image is too heavily emmeshed in the lost loved one, grief can become chronic and unresolving. Interaction and availability of the loved are essential for the woman's emotional functioning. The woman feels she is not strong, caring, or competent alone. Typically, this affects longtime married women who were homemakers. This is the most common form of abnormal grief reaction.

Distorted or Unexpected Loss Grief Deaths associated with sudden and unnatural causes like suicide, homicide, and accidents are common here. Women are more prone to Post-traumatic stress disorder and this type of grief is closely associated with it. The woman can experience easy startling, flashback, nighmares, and recurrent thoughts of the death, and flattened emotional response and numbing. The woman's required participation in official investigations or trials related to the death can promote this type of greif reaction. The three Vs -- violence, violation, and volition make a woman high risk. That means if the death was caused by violence, if the loved one was a victim in some way, and/or woman gets preoccupied with establsihing blame or bringing justice to her loved one. If there is media coverage of the death and/or illegal or socially unacceptable behaviors of the loved one involved, women are also at higher risk.

Delayed or Conflicted GriefWhen a woman has mixed feelings about the lost loved one, this type of grief reaction can happen. Typical situations for women involve death of a parent. Death or parent she was the caregiver for if that caused her to be overloaded is classic. But, even death of a parent she did not completely care for can bring up issues. Often today's midlife women have done more than their share of tending to older parents, yet they grew up in families where their brothers were favored. This gap causes unresolved conflict that may bubble up at the parent's death. And any unresolved issues with parents can lead to this. Unexpressed anger can turn towards the self and lead to depression. Another common situation for women is death of a child through violence, suicide or accident. She may feel anger at the child for his/her role in the death, but at the same time feel her upbringing of the child was inadequate.


sevenofwands

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sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #38 on: May 08, 2015, 12:32:40 PM »
The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages By Ruth Davis Konigsberg

"She dedicates an entire chapter to widowhood. Books like Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking paints grief as tumultuous, heart wrenching and never-ending. In On Grief and Grieving, Kübler-Ross said that “The reality is that you will grieve forever.”

Konigsberg, however, writes that such books imply that all grief looks like this, and that widows never recover. And if widows do recover and go on to date or remarry, they’re seen as the exception. Or worse, they’re viewed with suspicion (e.g., she probably hasn’t processed her grief fully yet) or judgment (e.g., how could she remarry so quickly? his body isn’t even cold yet). "

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-truth-about-grief-the-myth-of-its-five-stages/0006292

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2011/aug/19/grief-memoir-oates-didion-orourke


Veronica1992

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #39 on: April 28, 2018, 05:04:20 PM »
I was interested in the description of the book. I know that I need to get along with my pain and anguish, and not go through the stage of denial, anger and so on. So thank you for sharing this book.