Author Topic: Dark Emotions  (Read 62655 times)

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #15 on: May 03, 2009, 12:38:52 PM »
http://suicide.suite101.com/article.cfm/coping_with_suicide

Extract:

"Coping Strategies
Join a support group and you can share your story in a non-judgmental environment. You will likely make contact with other suicide survivors and they will understand exactly what you're going through.
The raw emotions you will feel after a suicide can overwhelm you physically and mentally. If these feelings continue unresolved for a long time you'll end up harming yourself, so it's important to find some professional therapy. You must talk about what you're feeling.
Don't let anybody rush you through the grieving process. Take as much time as you need. Ask for an extended leave of absence from work if you feel it's necessary.
Take care of yourself, and get plenty of rest.
Get your anger out! You may not want to admit it, but it's there and it must be recognized. Scream, shout, cry or pound your fists against a pillow. Any of these will be helpful as long as your emotions do not stay locked up.
Things You Shouldn't Do
Never place the blame on yourself or on the deceased. It's nobody's fault.
Avoid prescription medications and alcohol to cope with grief. They will only serve to lift your mood artificially and will not treat the real cause, which is the loss itself.
Do not let anyone else tell you how to feel, or to convince you that it's time to snap out of it and move on with your life. Remarks of this nature are presumptuous and inappropriate.



sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2009, 03:31:04 PM »

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2009, 03:43:19 PM »
I thought this was interesting and thought-provoking.

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/don039t-delay/200807/living-well-dying-well-some-reflections-regret-grief-and-procrastination

"""In the course of his discussion of coping with death and counseling individuals who are grieving, Dr. Eliason noted two kinds of regrets that people express in their grief over the loss of a loved one: regrets of commission and omission. The second regret, the things we omitted doing while our loved one was alive, captured my interest. Regrets of omission are so often the result of procrastination.

I asked Dr. Eliason, "What is the nature of these regrets of omission?" adding, "Are these: 1) Things people really intended to do, but never did (i.e., procrastination)?; 2) Generalized possibilities of what they could have done?; 3) Cultural scripts of what they think they should have done, what would have been nice to do?; or 4) Internalized expectations about what the loved one might have wanted them to do?""""


sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2009, 06:26:01 AM »
Very interesting article on "guilt tripping".

http://www.isnare.com/?aid=100465&ca=Womens+Interest

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2009, 03:17:36 PM »
""While mild regret is useful for driving new action, he said, severe regret “can be the first step toward mental illness.” Research has shown that most people eventually return to pre-tragedy levels of satisfaction, but some people suffer long-term emotional distress and depression. “Unfortunately, the newest research linking counterfactual thinking to depression contain little insight into how best to treat depression,” Roese wrote.""

http://news.illinois.edu/news/05/0124regrets.html


sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2009, 04:53:03 AM »
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/174212.php

""This is no small problem: Estimates suggest that, at any given point, 1 out of every 
36 children and 1 out of 18 adolescents experiences major depression.

By age 18, 1 in 7 has experienced at least one episode of major depression. Many others have less-severe problems. And children of depressed mothers have a risk three to four times higher than the general population. ""


And:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/173904.php

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #21 on: January 15, 2010, 11:29:28 AM »
This is, I think, worthwhile looking at:

http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2010/01/12/the-psychology-of-

""The difficulties associated with unresolved grief have also been attributed to a previous insecure attachment to the deceased. Insecure attachments of any kind can encourage distorted perspectives on the meaning of the relationship thereby complicating grief as the mourner grieves from a distorted perspective of the deceased and the meaning they have given to the relationship.

Due to the insecure attachment, the mourner may be afraid to grieve in order to avoid the distorted perceptions of what has been lost and the accompanying feelings of intense helplessness, fear of loneliness and other related overwhelming feelings that can often surround the loss of an insecure attachment figure.

One overwhelming feeling often experienced with such cases is a deep sense of abandonment within those who have lost their insecure attachment figure. It is such feelings of abandonment that could have some individuals reluctant to grieve because the grieving reawakens the painful and very profound sense of being left all alone to fend for them selves in the world.

People with severe ego impairments (e.g. personality disorders) are often unable to adequately complete the grief process. Such people may have difficulty successfully engaging normal grief processes and instead experience feelings of intense hopelessness, frustration, anxiety and depression resulting in complicated grief (Williamson & Shneidman, 1995; Freeman, 2005).""

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2010, 04:58:53 AM »
Hello to everyone:

I am glad to see that there are well over 10.000 hits on this thread of links and information I provided when I spent a little more time on Grief and Healing.
I hope to participate more once again.

Best to all
Seven

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #23 on: December 30, 2010, 10:00:22 AM »
These books sound helpful.


Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap by Bryn Collins

Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment and Fear  by Claudia A. Black

Seven

sevenofwands

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Dark Emotions
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2011, 05:23:08 AM »
Emotional Freedom by Dr. Judith Orloff M.D.



""Emotional Freedom is a road map for those who are stressed out, discouraged, or overwhelmed "

Dr. Orloff, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, has helped patients find emotional freedom for over 20 years.

And "The Health Benefits of Tears"

http://www.drjudithorloff.com/_blog/Dr_Judith_Orloff's_Blog/post/The_Health_Benefits_of_Tears/

Emotional tears have special health benefits. Biochemist and “tear expert” Dr. William Frey at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis discovered that reflex tears are 98% water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying. After studying the composition of tears, Dr. Frey found that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #25 on: February 06, 2011, 02:02:00 PM »
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/01/20/why-ruminating-is-unhealthy-and-how-to-stop/

Women seem to ruminate more than men, said Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, who’s also author of Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life.

There is some useful information on this site and in the book, maybe helpful in adressing problems that run in circles around inside one's head.

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #26 on: April 13, 2011, 04:40:24 AM »
Living in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Your Grief
By: Alan D. Wolfelt

Description
 
Explaining how multitudes of North Americans are carrying the pain of all types of loss—not just the deaths of loved ones but also the loss of a spouse through divorce, children who leave home, and the decline of health as they age or get sick—this balanced resource empowers mourners and grief counselors to turn grief into an experience to be learned from. Defining the varieties of heartache and its consequences, this effective guide explores how to inventory, understand, embrace, and reconcile one's accumulated sorrow through a five-phase "catch-up" mourning process. Readers will learn to use a spiritual and holistic approach to examine and integrate the ignored loss from their pasts, so that they can go on to live fuller, more balanced lives.

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #27 on: May 02, 2011, 05:10:13 AM »
Even though this topic refers to grief not related to death, there can surely be no grief comparable to being unloved by the mother, and when such a mother dies the grief must be complicated and more than ordinarily difficult to find closure.


Seven


"Mean Mothers - Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt" a book by Peg Streep

Book topic:
"Mean Mothers sheds light on one of the last cultural taboos: what happens when a woman doesn't or can't love her daughter.

Mean Mothers reveals the multigenerational thread that often runs through these stories—many unloving mothers are the daughters of unloving or hypercritical women—and explores what happens to a daughter's sense of self and to her relationships when her mother is emotionally absent or even cruel. But Mean Mothers is also a narrative of hope, recounting how daughters can get past the legacy of hurt to become whole within and to become loving mothers to the next generation of daughters. The personal stories of unloved daughters and sons and those of the author herself, are both unflinching and moving, and bring this most difficult of subjects to life. "


sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #28 on: May 12, 2011, 12:50:21 PM »
Grief has so many faces and forms. 

http://www.turning-points.com/perspective8.html

An excerpt:

"A look at grief and the family would not be complete without mention of the (rising) number of remarried families. According to The American Step-Family Association of America, founded by Elizabeth Ernstein, more than 30 million adults are part of blended families and more than 20% of American children live is such families. Moreover, Ernstein has observed that it takes between four to seven years for the new family to develop its own identity. Considering the complexity of systems and stressor which blended families face, unresolved grief and loss would be almost certain.
"

sevenofwands

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Re: Dark Emotions
« Reply #29 on: October 23, 2011, 10:21:50 AM »
Some interesting aspects are raised here:

http://counselingstlouis.net/learn-psych.html

And this little thought:

The Legend of the Tear Jar


     In the dry climate of ancient Greece, water was prized above all. Giving up water from one's own body, when crying tears for the dead, was considered a sacrifice. They caught their precious tears in tiny pitchers or "tear jars" like the one shown here (lifesize).

     These captured tears were considered to be "holy" water and were sprinkled on doorways to keep out evil, or used to cool the brow of a sick child.

     The tear jars themselves were kept unpainted until the owner had experienced the death of a parent, sibling, child, or spouse. After that, the grieving person decorated the tear jar with intricate designs, and examples of these can still be seen throughout modern Greece.

      This ancient custom symbolizes the transformation that takes place in people who have grieved deeply. They have not "gotten over" their grief, but rather "grown through" it. They appreciate relationships more. They appreciate life more. They find meaning in little things.

     Those whom grief has transformed are not threatened by the grief of other people in pain. They have been in the depths of pain themselves, and returned.