Many a day has passed that I will feel that wave of loneliness. This morning I was watching some TV show and when the character passed I started crying. I am starting to be able to talk to my kids about their dad. At least the dad that 'I' knew and loved. They know that there is a difference between dad and mom's husband. My son and I were talking last night about his memories of his dad. He is SO angry! He feels that his dad contributed to his death by abusing his scripts. I know that that is the truth but it hurts to see my son so angry. He loves his dad and he understands that he can feel both love and anger at the same time. It has only been three months but it is okay to talk about him with them. We laugh, cry and rage together. And what a blessing they both are right now because they keep telling me that they want to help me because that is what their dad would have wanted them to do. My daughter is so much like her dad even down to her addictioons that it is sometimes hard to talk with her because her memories are different than my son and I. She has started to realize that if she continues with the abuse that she may end up like her dad. I guess that is a good thing! But why did he have to die to bring this about? They both told me that they were glad that he went first because if I did, he would have quickly followed me in death by his own hand. They are growing up ( 1 is 27, 1 is 25) by having to deal with all this grieving. We did not get a choice but we are sticking together to help each other thru it!!
Topic: Waves (Read 2033 times)
