On May 18, I lost my brother. He was 17 months older than I, and as many brothers and sisters, we had a very competitive relationship as children, but as we got older, we became very close friends. So many times, he was my best and only cheerleader. He had many demons that he struggled with, but always had time to listen to his little sister's trouble, however trivial they might be.
On that unforgettable, unchangeable evening, he took his own life. I wish that I had been able to be there for him, and I wish that I had given him more time, and told him how proud I was of him, and how much I loved him. I wish that I hadn't gotten so busy, too busy to sit and talk to my brother... So many things that I would change..
I am finding this so hard, and impossible to talk to family about. My parents are seperated and I can't find it in myself to talk to them and add to their own grief. I have two older brothers, but they are involved in their own families and are of course struggling with their own grief.
I am sorry for the loss of so many others that I see posted on this website. It's an awful thing to see so many people with sadness as common ground. In comparison, my struggles seem to pale. If anyone out there has any words of wisdom for me, or any advice on how I can help my family, please share them..