Author Topic: Time for change  (Read 10451 times)

Debh

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 797
  • Forever Loved, Forever Missed, Never Forgotten
    • View Profile
Time for change
« on: December 11, 2006, 03:37:24 PM »
Sadly I can not get past somethings that have happened here. Words that have literally set me back into a anger that I carried for years with the boy that killed my boys. Anger that someone could be so cruel and uncaring to others which led to their deaths. A post recently set me into anger and hurt, I can't get past that I feel it was unnacceptable and disrepectful to my family, my sons, myself, and many parents and children here. When asked if it would be deleted the reply was no. I have to accept this because I am keeping in mind we all have lost a child and grief does do many things to us all even though I will never understand why it is so hard to be kind to others through our own pain.

For now I am in need of a break, need to take care of me and not allow what has happened to set me back, Chaddar keeps reminding me by his "you've come along way momsie", and I have, thanks to so many of you that stayed with me through the hardest time of my grief and to today. Up to this week my holidays were looking pretty good after 10 years I can't allow anything to set me back and change that. I am aware I have been hit by some horrible memories of the past and aware I am not at a safe place right now so time for a change and taking a break.

Keeping you all in my heart this holiday season,
Love
Deb

Paula (Adam's Brokenhearted Mama)

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 199
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 03:52:25 PM »
i feel at a loss when reading your post...is there any way that I can help?
Paula

leslie

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 137
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 04:21:23 PM »
Deb,  this is just a horrible time of the year for all of us and I understand the need to step back for a bit. I will miss you. Please know that you can email me anytime. For right now, I just need to hold on tight and keep taking those deep breaths. I think that's the only way I'll get through this season which is proving to be more difficult than the last one....

Much love,

Leslie

John-Danielle Marie's Daddy

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 617
  • Always Loving, Always Loved
    • View Profile
    • Danielle Marie's Memorial Website
Re: Time for change-(((Deb)))
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2006, 04:37:37 PM »
(((Missing Deb)))
Deb,
I am SO SORRY :'( that there was something posted that was hurtful and has made you feel this way. You have been an wonderful support to me and many of the bereaved parents that joined this group and I can't tell you how much that I appreciate, respect and care for all that you have done for so many of us.
I will miss you and your comforting words of encouragement. I will be praying for you and your beautiful & handsome angels.
Deb, I hope that someday you find the peace that will help you return to our "new family".
Take Care & God Bless You (((((DEB)))),
Sincerely,
John (Danielle Marie's Daddy)
Wishing You All Continuous Comfort & Peace,
John-Danielle Marie’s Daddy
1/4/95-2/20/06 (head trauma-motor vehicle accident)
“Her friendship was an inspiration, her love a blessing”

Lori, Alex's Mom

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 80
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2006, 04:47:47 PM »
Peace and prayers to you.

Alex's mom

marzz

  • nospam
  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 85
  • Kelly I won't you back my beautiful girl.
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2006, 05:18:55 PM »
Debh
Will miss your post's and thank you for your
caring.
please post sometime in the future if you can
so we know how you are ok.

Thank you for being here for us.
Love Hugs Marzz
Thank You Kelly For Being My Daughter.

  

Jeanneb

  • Guest
Re: Time for change
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2006, 05:26:55 PM »
Deb,

I'm sorry but understand that taking a break is sometimes what we have to and need to do.  Just knowing that you need to do this is a big step cause you are taking care of you.  I've had to take breaks before myself.  But don't ever forget that I am an email away.  I will miss seeing the Chads and Cory.  You certainly know that you have some fine looking young men.  My new son-in-law is also a Chad and find myself calling him Chadder, getting that from you.  You have been one heck of a rock for me since I came here 3 years ago. 

So, I will see you after a little time off and I MEAN IT I am only an email away.  I'll be thinking of you and the family during the holidays.

Love and hugs my dear dear friend,
Jeanne

starynyte

  • Guest
Re: Time for change
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2006, 05:35:34 PM »
Dear Deb,

It is my sincerest appology that I have upset you to such a degree, and I hope that sometime in the near future we can get back to the friendship and supportive relationship we once had. Like you, I am also doing what I need for myself... I will keep you in my prayers, and hope that peace finds you and settles in your heart.

Love & Peace,
Cherri

Valerie (Kyle's Mom)

  • nospam
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 109
  • Christmas Eve 2005
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2006, 05:52:52 PM »
Debh...

I will miss your posts and wonderful support system very much.  I understand that stepping back for you is very important right now.  You always  have a friend in me...I'm only a messanger away...I will also miss those handsome boys faces whom I have grown to love since the first day on.  Love, Valerie (Kyle's Mom)
Valerie R. Patton (Kyle Berry's Mom)
http://james-.memory-of.com

Heidismom

  • Guest
Re: Time for change
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2006, 06:16:57 PM »
Deb,

Sorry to see you take a break, but I do understand that you need to do what you need to do.  You have been a part of what has kept me going these past three months.  In case you dont make it back to help us (and hopefully us help you) through the holidays...May you have a peaceful one...with lots of excitement and wonderful memories of your boys! 

Hope to see you again soon...As we all know too well....Life is too short.

Huggs, Pam


Dena

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1252
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2006, 06:35:31 PM »
((((Deb)))) - I understand your need for a break - although I hope that it won't be a long one, my friend.  So many have benefitted from your kindness & support and you are very much needed and wanted here.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

CarolA

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 14
  • Vikki ~ 8/29/66 - 6/16/03
    • View Profile
Re: Time for change
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2006, 07:56:16 PM »
Deb, I missed whatever was said that hurt your feelings. I know sometimes people don't mean things the way they come across to some of us, sometimes. Whatever happened, know that you are loved by everyone here. You have always been there for me.
I don't post as much as I use to, but I do read now and then..and you have always said things that have helped me in my
darkest hours. I'm trying to be happy for the family this time of year and it's just so hard. I keep thinking there will come a time when I wont have to act...but so far, that time hasn't arrived. I miss my daughter so. ...more everyday.
Please don't stay gone long. Please!

Penny - Sean's Mom

  • nospam
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 131
    • View Profile
    • A Journey Continued
((DEB))) ((JUDY))
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2006, 08:49:58 PM »
I so understand your hurt.  These days we are all more fragile than usual and passions run way high it seems.  Change seems harder than it should right now too.   I just want you both to know that you have made a huge difference in my journey.  You both speak from the heart and it shows.   Practical real advice is so appreciated.

Deb -  Take the time you need but know that you are missed here.

Judy -  Hope you will be sticking around for awhile.  You have so much to offer and I for one need you around!

Wishing you both peace...

Paula, Tims Mom

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 225
  • My buddy boy
    • View Profile
    • Now Sings My Soul!
Re: Time for change
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2006, 06:08:54 AM »
((Dear Deb))

It was you who stepped up in protest here when the F-Bomb was dropped on heroin addicts - even though it was my dear dear dead Timmy's dignity and memory  that was profaned and not your boys'. I so dearly appreciate your empathy and the wisdom you share here and your magnamimous support for me and my child.

The new board is very unbalanced right now but you know from long experience that these things have a way of evening out and changing over time.

So - do what you need to do for YOU- I selfishly hope Chaddars whispers in your ear "well done Mom" and that you can re-charge your emotional batteries and come back to continue to lift up others and to accept my hand and shoulder ANYTIME. I will probably be lurkin here even if my heart is questioning the propriety of doing so.

Merry Christmas Deb- love you.
Paula, Tims Mom

faye

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 296
  • Larry Brickman
    • View Profile
    • Larry & Nana
Re: Time for change/ Deb & Judy
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2006, 09:05:44 AM »
Oh, Deb...

I will miss you so much  You have always been so kind and understanding.  I know you must do what is best for you, but  I selfishly hope it will not be for long.  Please email me to keep in touch.  [email protected].  Have a peaceful holiday and again I will miss you.

Judy, are you leaving, too?  I hope not.  You have also been so kind and comforting.  I hope you keep posting.  Please email me when you can.