It's like a band-aid

[ladybug13]

I miss my Mom so much today. I feel like as time goes on it is like a band-aid being ripped of 1 little bit at a time. I miss her more and more each day if that is possible. I think of a million ways to get to heaven to have the possibilty of one more glimpse of her or tell her how much I love her. O how happy I would be. My Dad listens to a song almost everyday and the lyrics describe my feeling...You don't know lonely till it is chisled in stone....so right. It's the little things I miss..watching the Diamonbacks games with Mom or when a movie was on sitting on the couch holding her paralyzed arm to make sure she would know it was loved too however imperfect. I just want to crawl in bed wih her and just feel like I am safe and that life is ok. I guess as simple as it sounds I miss her with every fiber of my being. I try to remnd myself I would rather have had her for the time I did then to have never known her. Always blessings never losses. One day I will see her again I have too..Thanks for listening...Jacque 

[renee]

Jacque,
Sorry to hear you are so sad. I too am missing my dad more and more. I think its because the realization that he's not coming back is kicking in now and it's been almost 13 months now. You're right it does feel like a band-aide coming off slowly I never thought of it that way good philosophy. Give it time it will get easier. I read in a book that the first two years are the worst especially the 2nd year at the 3 yr. mark it starts to get a little easier. I don't know what kind of music you listen to but listen to Mariah Carey her new CD the song called "Bye, Bye" it's a beautiful song and it is so true. Many hugs and kisses to you.
Renee

[Irene]

Hi Jacque,
   
    The love you have for your mother, shows through on every posting that you write.
I don't doubt, that your mother knew very well, how much that you loved her. I do believe that our loved ones would want us to go on and enjoy our lives, and eventually it does get easier with time. There are those days though, when the pain is
so close to the surface. It is still so recent for you.
   I had a dream last week, where my mother was present in my dream. I remember that as I lay sleeping, I couldn't figure out why my mother was there; something wasn't right. I had somehow in my unconscious, come to accept that she was no longer alive. In my dream, she answered me, that she would always be there whenever I needed her.
   I believe that our loved ones continue to love us, that this energy does not die. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing.

[grainofsand]

Jacque~

Yes, seems we will have the band-aid effect for life.

When you said you would rather of known you mom for a time than not at all, I feel the same about my friends...  It reminds me of that Garth Brooks song.." I could of missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance".
So true, isn't it.

I will be planing a lilac tree in the honor of Sandi next week for her 1 yr date.  I will also plant one for your mother as well if you don't mind.  So I will have a LeeAnn and a Sandi growing in the side yard.  No reason for the Sandi tree to be alone...

My prayers and hugs go to you....you miss much because you loved much. 

[nancy lea]

"How precious are the feet of them that bring good news" ... quote from beautiful book.  I talk to my mom a lot.  I can't believe it's almost been 6 weeks.  I feel my mom close to me whenever I need her.  It has been so beautifully said "they can't be completely gone when we remember".  I truly don't believe they are.  There is a song "we are one in the spirit, we sre one in the Lord".  There I find comfort.  If we be one ... this body passes but that one spirit continues its' journey.  And oh how I look forward to being with them again.  I keep looking for that reason I am still here.  I am losing some of my eyesight.  At 60 I am still truly looking for that good purpose we are here.  When momma was here I knew why I was here.  Now as that good book says "I press on toward that mark which is our calling in Christ Jesus"  "Someday we will see clearly".  I pray that we will be strengthened as we share and walk together.  In Him, nancy

[ladybug13]

Renee~Thank you! I love Mariah I listen to that song everyday driving to work..I try to get the tears out before I get to work... I too will never say Bye to my Mom she lives in my heart always as well as I am sure your Dad does in yours!!

Irene~I know in my heart my Mom knows I love her, I guess those days when I get down and nothing seems fair I forget. You are so lucky for your dream. I have had a few of my Mom. It has to be her because in my dreams when she visits I feel safe and warm she had that presence that made all the world right. I think selfishly that is what I miss the most. Thank you for your kind words.

Grainof Sand~ Garth is so right the love that brings us the most joy and causes us such deep sorrow when it is gone is the one thing we would never change. I could never find words to express what you planting a tree for my Mom means to me and I know her.   She loved gardening and trees. I have 2 in my yard we planted together and they have more value to me than anything. I am speechless the tears fall just knowing someone that never knew my Mom thinks enough of her to do that. I am humbled.Ironically one of her best friends names in high school was Sandy.  Thank you there really are Angels among us~You are one!  

[saba]

yes Irene is indeed v.lucky & blessed to hav sch a nice, comforting dream.wonder wen my Amma s going 2 show up!! i m gettng all weary waitng day in n day out  for a sign frm her, cant bliev she can leav me so completly esp wen i m so ill....

[ladybug13]

Nancy Lea~ You have a purpose we all do we may not recognize it now but we do. We are all a puzzle piece and if one was missing the puzzle wouldn't be complete. I have a quote hanging that says "Faith is when you close your eyes and open your heart". Sight or not hold your faith God, He is giving you a challenge, embrace it know that he has a purpose for you. He will guide you when you need him. Know I am thinking of you and yes we need you here too!!

[nancy lea]

oh ladybug thankyou.  i miss my momma calling me ladybug.  i try to hear her say it to me now.  this place is getting me from one day to the next.  i am so thankful to be here.  love, nancy