((((((((REBECCA)))))))))
I was the one that did "be careful what you wish for" . Let me tell you what happened to me as far as not seeing my son again.
The night of the accident His father(if thats what you call him) called me one hour after my son passed away. They live one hour from me. When I got there the JP was just showing up to pronouce my son. He was still in back of the ambulance. I went to the ambulance to see him. First the shrieff said that I couldnt see him. Then he said "ok you can see him, But you cant touch him." I was standing at the door. I could see my son with the white sheet over him. As I go to get in, so that I could see him, The EMT said "I have a son that is 14. Can I please talk to you." I was very much in shock. " i screamed that I dint care about his son. Just get out of my way." He pulled me to him. He said mam please listen to me. So I stopped and yelled "WHAT WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!" He said I just want you to think very hard before you make the choice to see him. Something stopped me in my tracks, my attitude changed. And I said "you seen him, if it was your son would you see him, r would u let your wife." He said "NO" he said " you dont want to remeber your son like this". I said "ok" .. Our funeral home was wonderful and was able to have it open casscette. However he had sooo much make up on. But I didnt care. I could still tell his facial features, his hands, his fingers, his hair, and thick black eyelashes.
Now I am so mad at myself for not seeing my baby. I am his mom. I should see him thru it all. I have seen every other second of his life. Good or bad. Why was I so worried about my damn self. So scared to see MY SON!! How crazy is that. I gave birth to him. I made a BIG BIG mistake.
Then some days I think if i would have seen him I might say that seeing him was a mistake also. I dont think that any choice I would have made, would have been the right one.