Author Topic: Hello to All  (Read 4646 times)

Rebecca

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Hello to All
« on: May 25, 2008, 08:05:33 AM »
I stop by here, a few times to read.  Unfortunately, I am now, with my limited time, concentrating more on reading and learning about my newly diagnoses diabetes.  But, this does not ever stop me from thinking about my Jason, missing and loving him, talking about him.  Just yesterday, my neighbor had her three grandchildren riding their bikes around the tree in our cul de sac.  I am not fond of her period so when the children were riding around it made me mad.  Not at the kids because it is safe but because the father of the children  peed on Jason when he was about  10 and the mother called my Jason a liar when he told.  He ran in and washed immediately so I knew something was wrong and now he is enjoying his children, etc. and my Jason is gone.  Do I sound like sour grapes, u bet.  I am so sour and angry.  This should be our time.  I should not be angry about the kids, I should not be.... More importantly, my Jason should be here... Why isn't he... I am so angry and missing him so very much.  So, I think I better do something constructive instead of feeling so very sorry for myself.  I hope you are all well and enjoying whateve it is we who have lost our children can enjoy.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

cathy

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2008, 09:18:14 AM »
Oh Rebecca, I know how much you miss Jason. I am just so sorry for all the hurt you are feeling. Please don't be mad for what I'm about to say ok?
Don't think of what the father did to Jason when he was 10 as much as thinking about Jason and what he did with his life when he was here with us all. Jason, like my Andrea had a heart of gold and I do know that for the short time they were here with us they did so much, way more than you and I will ever know. I miss Andrea so much. My days are up and down. I try to concentrate on all the good she did and what a good girl she was. Am I even making sense?

Love, Cathy

Rebecca

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2008, 09:49:16 AM »
U most certainly are.  Somedays I just allow myself to have a pitty party.  Between having all my problems with my shoulder, then being almost healed and finding out I am diab. and wondering how long this has been going on without diagnosis as well as what damage has been done to my organs, makes me obsessive.  I just don't understand life, most of the time.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

cathy

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2008, 09:53:40 AM »
Rebecca, I have my share of pity parties. Belive me I do!! I have found that to be able to share, vent, cry, and even be silent has helped me to deal with my life. The one thing  I do know is, life without our babies sucks and just to be able to share with others does make it bearable.

Love,
Cathy

Annette

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2008, 04:21:58 PM »
Rebecca, I know it's difficult. I have pity parties too especially when I hear of other people's children having accidents and they survivie. Why did my child have to die? If there is a heaven, I pray that all the children of all the parents on this board can get together and talk about us and how they love us.

Love,
Annette
Michael's Mom
12-13-82 - 5-14-07

Trevor & Michael 2004 Age3

Dena

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2008, 05:15:00 PM »
(((Rebecca))))

I think we have more than earned the right to pity parties. I still have them every now and then myself.

Your health comes first. Diabetes is a manageable disease, but it takes work and effort and this is something you need to do for you. 

Hold close to those good memories of Jason and they will help carry you through.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

Donna Jasons mom

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2008, 05:34:06 AM »
Rebecca:
We are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes and we are certainly allowed to have those angry feelings.  We should all be with our children and enjoying them and loving them it's just not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I guess it is what it is and we have to try to keep on keepin on.  You are in my thoughts and prayers and hoping you are feeling better!!
One day, one moment, one breathe at a time!!
hugs and love
Donna (Jason's mom)

Dottie (Tammie's Mom)

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2008, 05:36:48 AM »
Rebecca,

I too still get those anger attacks. Then I am angry at myself for thinking some of the things I do. How can we not get angry when our kids should be here with us???

It is a difficult life long journey, wishing well.

Hugs,
Dottie Tammie's Mom

tsjones

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2008, 06:16:27 PM »
I feel anger too, when I see other families or when people are laughing and having a good time. I have my very own pity party, then I get myself together after a few minutes. This is so hard. So very hard and unfair. I will be praying for you.
Tammy (Jordan's Mom)

how2moveon

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Re: Hello to All
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2008, 10:32:15 PM »
You have every right to feel sorry for yourself. We all do.  I also get mad when I see "happy" people. Why do they get the right to be happy.  I wonder why the children that come from a very unhappy home and get beat and emotional abuse why not them.
Why us? I completly understand how you feel.
bubba's mom
NO FAREWELL WORDS WAS SPOKEN
NO TIME TO SAY GOODBYE
YOU LEFT WITHOUT WARNING
AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY