I approached therapy more goal specific. What was I trying to accomplish? How, realistically, did I think this person could help me improve my life? In what ways was I having a hard time dealing with my children's deaths? I wrote them all down. Constant flashbacks was high on the list.
The first person I saw had also lost an infant, and she was the worst, b/c she thought she already knew how I was feeling. She had no coping mechanisms to teach, she thought she just had to listen and not participate. It took 2 1/2 years before I was willing to try again. The second one was more experienced in PTSD, and was less touchy-feely. It wasn't an end-all, but he did definitely help relieve or lessen many of my symptoms. He was also more goal oriented than the first one. I found it much more helpful when I defined what I wanted therapy to do, and even interviewed him first, found out what treatment he was planning If he wanted me to to do something I thought was dumb, I told him "no". Remember, you are paying for this!
To a certain extent, we do kind of need to, not move on, but move forward, especially when there are other young children in the family to consider. But being told to do so is not therapy. Being told to let go is not therapy. Helping someone work through their grief and giving them tools to (eventually) be able to continue life without grief always at its center (if that is that person's goal) IS theraputic.
One thing that the therapist did do for me was explain that short and long term memory are stored in different parts of the brain (I already knew this part) and that one reason for the flashbacks, is that when the brain is unable to process something of such a horrific magnitude it stays in short term memory. Part of the therapy (in this case EMDR) was to try to process the traumatic events and move them long term memory. Who know, maybe its all mumbo jumbo, but it did work for me, to a certain extent, although not quite the miracle cure others have claimed it to be.
best to you. s.