Author Topic: Same Feelings, Handled Differently  (Read 3088 times)

Rebecca

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Same Feelings, Handled Differently
« on: May 18, 2008, 08:30:32 AM »
We were invited to a party to welcome my a friend's son home from Hawaii.  There was a time I would not have gone.  Now, I can.  Well, all went pretty well, but my friend's mother is in the hosp. many problems and all were talking about it, what to do etc.  The daughter in law said:  this is the worst thing that can happen to someone, to have their mother, father, etc.  lose who they are and strike out  etc. etc. etc.  Nothing could be worse, and then she looked at me and said, well except losing a child.  It was like an afterthought.  I said nothing.  Then the son's friends started coming to see him and I am sure that Jason knew these kids. they all had families now, etc. and my eyes started to well.  The son, who surprised everyone with the news that he had gotten married the week before, was not even at the party because he went to the airport to pick up his new "wife".  I decided that we are just friends and it would be easier on the new wife to meet her new inlaws without friends there.  So we left, but we also left because I knew I would probably fall apart.  To see him married. The thing is he got married on the beach in Hawaii and Jason after Maryn's wedding said that it was to extragavant and would not want that kind of wedding although he didn't want to get married. If he did, he would get married on a beach without shoes.  This was all too close for me.  I am sad.  Sad most of the time.  He will never get any opportunities.  Thanks for listing to this rant.

MelissaCharliesMom

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Re: Same Feelings, Handled Differently
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2008, 09:41:29 AM »
Its the worst feeling in the world when something good or happy happens to/for someone else and instead of being happy for them you are sad, envious, jealous, mad. It used to be I would be the first one at the graduation, wedding, Birthday, prom...etc to say ....Yay!!!So happy for you, Congrats or whatever. Now, I find myself not going to anything unless I absolutely have to and then its simply to make an appearance and we are gone!!!
Life certainly is different now isnt it.
So sorry youre having a rougher day...funny, it seems sadness has become the new theme!!!
Thinking of you sending strength and peace.

Jeanneb

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Re: Same Feelings, Handled Differently
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2008, 10:57:02 AM »
Rebecca,

Not much to say here except I think you did just fine.  You went and that was great and when  you realized it was getting to  much you took yourself out of the situation...I think this is huge and great big step.  I can only try and imagine how you felt in that situation.  I haven't been put in that spot yet with any of Philip's friends...they stay away and I understand.  He hadn't even graduated from  high school yet so all his friends have gone on with their lives and that doesn't include us anymore.  It still hurts but I   understand.

How are you feeling physically??  Been wondering about you, the shoulder, the diabetes...just know I care and think of you often.

Hugs,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

Karen Paul

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Re: Same Feelings, Handled Differently
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2008, 06:18:59 AM »
Oh Rebecca - I agree with Jeanne that you handled it so well, as well as you could.. and I think it is good that you were able to go, but also good that you were able to leave when you needed to... I've been thinking about you often. My mom had to have rotator cuff surgery on Monday and is having a bit of a time with pain and nausea, which i'm hoping will improve every day. She had to have her wrist operated on in January after she fell while walking and broke it. So she has had a long spring, and looks to be a long summer of rehabilitation with her shoulder. I've thought of you and been wondering how yours is doing?

We were at our niece Evan's college graduation on Sunday and I was so happy for her and really tried to stay in the moment.. but her mom (my hubby's sister) pointed out that both Evan and Ben (her older 2) will finish graduate school the same year her younger son Thaddeus graduates high school in 2 years.. and that just threw me because next year Christopher would have been graduating college.. and we should be celebrating that too.. I try so hard not to do that to myself, but I could not help it.. in the midst of Evan's happy day, beautiful with sunshine.. I got sad inside myself where no one could see..

big hugs and luv,
Karen
Chris' aunt


Donna Jasons mom

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Re: Same Feelings, Handled Differently
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2008, 08:16:57 PM »
Hi Rebecca:
Oh, can I ever relate.  One thing I've allowed myself to do now is not attend alot of functions because I just can't keep myself together for them.  I realize that and although I probably miss out on alot of things it's sometimes easier on me just not to go.  My heart just breaks attending weddings, babies being born I know these are happy events and I am thrilled for the families but it just tears me apart.  Maybe someday!!
One day, one moment, one breathe at a time!!
hugs and love
Donna (Jason's mom)

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Same Feelings, Handled Differently
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2008, 03:23:48 PM »
(((( Rebbecca)))) I wish Jason was here to get married, have babies, to live... and Taylor and all our kids... it's just not right... Love, Brenda