Author Topic: i miss my twin sister  (Read 23373 times)

aubreyaleece

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i miss my twin sister
« on: May 09, 2008, 05:44:18 AM »
I lost my twin sister about two weeks ago in a fatal car accident when we spun off a road and hit two trees.  In the car was my sister, her boyfriend, and myself in the backseat.  I was the only one to survive this car accident and living with this has really put huge grief on me.  I miss my sister more than anyone could ever explain.  She was my best friend and i never felt alone like i do now.  I always had someone who could never stay mad at me for to long and who would be on my side in every argument unless it was between us.  I dont really know how to handle this situation at all, so far i have just tried to stay busy.  I dont know what im supposed to do without her.  She meant everything to me, she was like my other half.  My sister Sydney, was the most outgoing, funny, laid back, full of life person who lived her life to the fullest and did not waste one minute.  After the accident i did not know it was going to be this bad.  I got out of the car perfectly fine and both Sydney, and her boyfriend Jordan were  unconcious in the front seats.  My boyfriend Will was Jordans best friend, and he came to the hospital that Jordan and I were at when he found out that Jordan was not going to survive, and thats when i put two and two together because my sister actually hit the tree.  I have never felt so alone and I do not understand why I survived and they did not.  What am i supposed to do now?

laurenE

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2008, 12:28:04 PM »
aubree,

I can not imagine the pain you must be feeling in the loss of your twin.  I am so very sorry.   I am also so sorry that you had to be a part of the accident.  I hope you are physically ok and dont have any injuries.

For awhile,   there will be days when all that you can do is put one foot in front of the other.   Talking about the death and the accident and your grief will help you heal in time.    Being around people who love and support you,   who allow you to be who you needto be at that moment and do not rush you through your grief will help you along as well.     And of course coming here for support and writing it out. 

Again I am very sorry for your pain and loss.   Im glad you found us here.

Lauren

grainofsand

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2008, 05:12:25 PM »
Aubrey ~
What can I say right now to you that will help you get through this?  I am so sorry that you had to endure such a traumatic experience in your life.  You will get through this, even if you don't believe it right now.
When I read some of the other posts on this web site, I say to myself...gee how wise and full of wisdom those who write are.  I am at such a loss of words right now..and feel nothing I say will make you feel any better.  There are no magic words that one can say and "poof" the pain and torment is gone.  I sure wish there was, as I would use them now for you. 

Maybe someday when you are ready to, you can share more about Sydney with us all.

When you need to, please come back and share, vent, or cry with us all here.  We all have lost someone we loved and so we can feel each others pain.  You will always find comfort when you need it, a kind word when you have to hear one...and many prayers when you need it the most.


Sara
Letter to Death: Death never looks back to see my tears or how difficult life has become now for me.
When death stops a heart, it doesn't understand that it beat with another.

lwuest

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2008, 09:17:53 PM »
Dearest Aubrey,

There are just no words to express how sad I am for you.  Just as there are no words which will describe the huge hole you have in your heart with the loss of your twin sister, Sydney.
I am from the same city you live in and my heart broke when I watched the news.  I lost my son 15 months ago in a car accident.

His sister is so sad.  As she had told me.....he is the only person in the whole world who has shared her life history.  The only person in the entire world who understands "the look" he sends her, or the private jokes only the two of them understand.  They weren't twins like you and Sydney, but they were very close in age.  Oh, Aubrey, my heart aches for you.

I responded to your Mom's message on this board, but I want to reach out to you too.  Please e mail me privately at [email protected].  There is a group in our city that could offer some guidance in getting by.  Because it really is a moment by moment survival game.

In my message to your Mom I said I will come and pick you up for a meeting that will take place next Tuesday night.  If you can't do that it's OK, too.  We could just get together if you want.  I don't have any answers for either you or your Mom, but I'm really good at listening.  I found that talking was very helpful to me in those early months after my son died.

Aubrey, you need to talk about this.  Please call on all of us here on this board to help you.  Please call on me personally to meet with you!

Linda

Jeanneb

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2008, 06:49:43 AM »
Dear Aubrey,

My heart goes out to you and your family.  You have been through so very much and it is hard, so please reach out and ask for help if you feel you need that.

I speak from both sides of the fence.  I lost my older brother over 10 years ago now and my youngest son going on 5 years.  Both died from car accidents.  When my son had his accident, my husband and I arrived on the scene before he was airlifted.  I had a difficult time with all that I saw and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.  It was hard playing that video in my mind over and over but with some professional help I was able to deal with those images and thoughts.

I cannot imagine what you are going through.  I do know what it is like to miss my sibling and the bond we had but can only imagine the xtra special bond of a twin.  I now have twin (boy & girl) grandchildren.  They are only 5 months old but can see the sparkle and love on their faces of each other....it is amazing.  Be gentle with yourself and know that it is ok to feel sad, hurt, confused, angry...all is very normal.  There is absolutely no time limit on how or when to feel...I miss my brother and son to this very day and imagine I always will.

Keep reaching out and posting...we are here to listen.

Love,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister

Stephanie Lutcavish

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2008, 10:22:56 PM »
I am so sorry for your loss. I  hope and pray that you find help and comfort through your family and friends. I lost my twin also. 

steff

go4jen

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2008, 12:35:26 PM »
OMG...sweetheart. I am a twin, she IS my other half. I just lost my baby sister in a dui accident over a year ago and that has been hard, but my twin, I am so so sorry for you, I am crying for you as i write this. It tears me up. You are born with your best friend when you have a twin, you share so much more than a regular sibling relationship. We fight too but never stay mad too long. Please if you need to talk let me know. I will think about you hon....I am so sorry. Jennifer

lilyflower

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2009, 09:08:51 PM »
I lost my boyfriend 5 days ago. He committed suicide. I can honestly say that I loved that man, deeply madly insanely loved that man.
It was not a healthy relationship because there were too many ups and downs. It was like an emotional roller coaster. I am a kind hearted good woman with all the good intentions. But I am also a very needy woman who has lots lots emotional expectations from a man. He was a single dad who struggled his whole life. He was a tortured soul. He considered me as his one last hope, stupid me viewed it as "extreme romance" so needless to say, this relationship was doomed from the very beginning.
I now realized that he didn't need a girlfriend because he was not a stable person. What he needed, was a therapist, and probably lots pills, and talk therapy.
I am experiencing anger, fear, guilt and i know my life will never be the same ever again. I thought we could make a living together, I failed him miserably at all level, and he failed me fatally.
So what's the point of this message?
I know you cannot see any positive from your tragic loss. But healing requires strong will, works, and support. I know it is hard, especially the twin bond you have had with your twin sister, that is a kind of bond nobody can understand or comprehend. But you have to be strong, knowing she will forever live in you, and forever be part of you. When you want to remember her, all you have to do is look at yourself in the mirror. So start taking care of yourself, loving yourself even more because that is what your sister wanted you to do.. God Bless  even though I don't know you, I really care about you.

Jeanie1

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2009, 03:43:14 PM »
i am so sorry that you have a reason to enter this place of pain and loss my sister, was not my twin but she was only 14 months younger than me. She was the one person who knew me inside and out. I contemplated many times why was I still here and not her. But like you I will never have an answer to that question.
You have entered a realm in this life that is so painful that words can not describe. That pain for me however, actually made me a better person. I know that sounds awful but I took her presence in my life for granted and my own days on this earth as well. I don't do that now. I do things to help others and I never let the people I love feel unloved by me. 

daryy

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2009, 03:21:36 AM »
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« Last Edit: November 25, 2011, 08:18:55 AM by daryy »
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Luvinmike

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2009, 09:18:05 PM »
My heart and prayers are with you aubreyaleece. And you too daryy. Thinking of all of us here brought together by the loss of loved ones. So sorry, Terri

jate

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2009, 05:47:33 PM »
As a twin, I have experienced the same tragedy. My heart aches deeply and I often wonder why I lived and why my twin brother had to die. At times, I projected that my family would rather it be me and sometimes I was SO angry at my family that I wanted to commit suicide. Now, I see that it was God's plan and not to question it. Yes, I still hurt however I visualize my twin being in heaven and enjoying his time with God. I sometimes even feel jealous that he doesn't have to experience this horrible earth, however I have to shake myself and realize that I am here for a purpose. Perhaps, God wants us to reach out to those in need or for us to see how short life can be. Life is a blessing and it took me a LONG time to understand this.Try not to dwell on the why and what if, dwell on the memories and try to keep your twin's memory alive. Never stop mentioning her name and always remember that God will not give us more than we can handle. Cherish the memories and be there for your parents. I know they feel you hurting and are worried about you. Try to share your thoughts and just pray. Also, I know how hard birthdays and holidays can be, try to live each these days to the fullest and realize this is what your twin would want. Be strong.

Luvinmike

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2009, 07:33:34 PM »
We're glad you found the site. It does help a little bit to know others care, and understand. It takes a long time, but it helps to talk about our losses. Sending thoughts of comfort to you Jate and everyone on the board. Sorry about your sweet brother. Terri

Tiff

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Re: i miss my twin sister
« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2009, 12:44:20 PM »
Dear Aubrey,
I have a twin sister too and she has a boyfriend.. so i can relate to this situation too, well kinda. If my sister died in the same car crash.. i dont no what i would do with my life!
Hang in there and be strong!!

~Tiffani