Author Topic: Back at day one  (Read 3307 times)

Judy-Marc's mum

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Back at day one
« on: April 30, 2008, 03:17:56 AM »
By nature I dont remember my dreams, but last night I had a dream that I wish that I dont remember.  I dreamt that Marc & I were driving and we came across an accident.  We stopped and I got out telling him to ring the police on my mobile phone as I went to help the people in the accident.  After it was over I went back to my car to find it and Marc gone. (to those that dont know Marc took my car whilst we were away on holidays and had an accident and died)  Next I was driving around to try and find him and I kept seeing guys that looked like him but they weren't.
I have been so depressed today (and after I thought I was getting to be able to cope) that it feels the same as it did the moment that we found out that he was dead. I am back at the place were we all started this journey from.
All I have done today is cry.  Dont want to see anyone or talk to them either.
Today is a day that I wish away.
Has anyone else had dreams like this.
Love Judy
« Last Edit: April 30, 2008, 03:27:11 AM by Judy-Marc's mum »

momofwatsonx

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2008, 05:54:52 AM »
Judy, I am so sorry to hear about your dream. I am sending you a big (((HUG)))... Isnt it strange how our mind can control our every being.    I to don't dream, or at least i don't remember it, but i have had several dreams about Josh accident... I am in the car with him and i see all that he went through, i wake up panicing and cant breath... or I get the phone call from the morgue and hear it all over again....

This dreams can set you back for weeks to months.... I am approaching Josh's 2 angel date and things seem to be hitting me full force, the phone rings i don't want to answer it, i hear sirens and i think oh my God is it, no it cant be..... but it doesn't help.

My husband told me that i was never happy anymore, i asked how can i be     I lost my son and I leave that day over and over along with the fear of loosing you or another one of my kids...   

I wish you all the best and hope that your bad dreams end and you have good memorys of Marc.

virgie   JOSH"S mom



Karen Paul

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2008, 06:19:02 AM »
Judy - I'm so sorry you had this dream.. and all those feelings came rushing back.. I have found that this grief is not linear.. it seems more like the ocean to me.. waves and pitches and forward and back and sideways.. bringing with it the sadness, the shock and the reality all over again.. I think it is our bodies way of helping us deal with the grief.. because if we had to do it all at once it would surely kill us.. I hope you find that days to come hold more hope and loving memories..

Such a lonely journey.. all together..

luv and hugs to you and Marc..
Karen
Chris' aunt

tsjones

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2008, 06:30:32 PM »
I have had dreams but not like that. Mine have been good dreams. I was even dreaming about my son when he died. God sent him to me in my dreams and I thank him for that everyday. We hugged and talked and that is my biggest comfort.
Tammy (Jordan's Mom)

Wadesmom

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2008, 07:58:36 PM »
Judy,
I understand how upsetting dreams like this can be- my thoughts are with you and I'm sorry.
It's so confusing, so real to us, and so unsettling.

Thinking of you

Wadesmom

Jeanneb

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2008, 06:56:50 AM »
Judy,

I certainly understand.   After Philip died I had a dream that he and I were riding in his truck together...it was so vivid I woke wondering if it was a dream.  I won't go into the details but it was disturbing and one thing I remember is calling him an idiot.  That has haunted me ever since...it really has bothered me over the years but it was a dream.  He knew how much his momma loved him and thought he was the smartest thing around.

Right now I think  you just go with your feelings and you will walk through this to the other side.  If we didn't love so much it wouldn't hurt so much.  As you can try to bring to mind a happy memory and concentrate on that.  It was a dream and I know you will wrestle with it and you will be able to put it down in your own time.

Sending you strength,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2008, 04:37:36 PM »
((((( Judy)))))))))

MelissaCharliesMom

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2008, 09:07:40 PM »
Im so sorry. I havent had dreams about the accident I havehad only one dream with Charlie in itsince h died. I was in a fog so thick that I couldnt see anythinggg, I could hear Charlie calling, "Mom, Mom where are you?" I screamed for him and looked everywhere, crawling in my hands and knees just screaming, but couldnt find him. I woke up in hysterics, practically hyperventilating.
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I wish none of us had to be here, I wish it was all so very different. Know I am thinking of you. Sending strength and peace.

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2008, 09:53:29 PM »
judy,
  yes. i've had dreams of candi. some bad & when i wake up i'm soooo much more depressed. i pray & ask god, if i can't have a good dream about candi ,to please help not to dream of her at all.
i have had some good dreams also. in one dream candi said to me " i'll always be there." i even got to touch her in the dream. it was the best dream so far.
candi will be gone 3 yrs. may 13th. just 12 more days & it'll be 3yrs.
i miss candi sooooo much. i wish we could all have our kids back.

sending you hug's,
martha

Marianne

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Re: Back at day one
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2008, 06:32:20 PM »
Oh Judy,

I know how dreams can bring you down.  I too have been having some crazy dreams about Alek.  I can never get to him.  I think it's because we, as parents, always knew where our child was.  Who he was with - what he was doing.  Now, although we know there is peace and love where they are - we, as parents, need to know more.

I want to know...

Do you get to eat chicken nuggets in Heaven?
Are you playing the guitar?
Do you listen to music?  Do you need headphones?
Do you go to school?
Who are you with?
What are you doing - right NOW?

I just want a re-do.  I would fix it.

Sending you love.
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)