Author Topic: new here  (Read 3979 times)


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new here
« on: April 10, 2008, 07:54:28 PM »
I posted in the intoduction board.  I am sad to be here, but glad there is someplace for me to go.  Things are sooooo frustrating right now.  My brothers estranged wife has popped back up in the picture, after abandoning them 8 years ago, and since they never actually divorced, and he never changed his beneficiaries, she is going after his life insurance and retirement.  All of which should go to his girls.  UGHHHHHH!  I am just amazed at how selfish and self absorbed people can be.  I had her in my home 2 weeks ago to discuss Missy's living arangements (missy is the 10 yo daughter that is living with her maternal grandmother for now)  She wants to move in with us.  But his wife may take custody of them just so she can claim the social security benefits too.    She acted so sad about Kevin's passing and was acting like it was all her fault (won't argue there) and how she wanted kev's money to go to the girls.  Then we are informed that she went to the union today to file the death certificate and get the money.  They are stalling for a little bit, because they know the situation.  My mom was trying to get the courts to award her trustee of the money, to be put away for the girls.  Now she is going to have to spend all this money to fight Debbie.  I really thought that she was genuine.  I thought she had changed, but she hasn't.  I feel like such a putz, for taking her for her word.  I'm the one who mentioned the money in the first place, after my mother asked me not to say anything to anyone.  I Just didn't feel right not saying anything, especially when she was so willing to entrust Missy with me.  and she told her that she was going to live with me, but now i'm not so sure.   I love that little girl so much (i love her big sis too, that is a whole other story) and having her around is having a little bit of Kevin around.  Plus, she just shines when she is with us.  She has been coming to my house everysat night to sunday night to spend time and go to church with us.  She is soooo unhappy with her grandmother, who is a mean drunk with a lot of health issues.  Missy shouldn't be with her in the first place, but kev had no choice.  That is yet another story i'm not gonna get into now.

anyway, brownies to anyone who read all the way through my nove.  I'm jsut so mad at my self for being so gullable.  I just can't help but try to find the good in everyone.  And this time, i got burned. 

Kristi, who's feeling a bit down right now.


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Re: new here
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2008, 08:58:29 AM »

I am so sorry for all of your family drama.  I too am amazed at how greedy and selfish people can be,  especially after the death of someone.   Its cruel.   And then to have these 2 girls right in the middle of it.   How very sad.    I am also very sorry for your pain over the loss of your brother.   

I'm glad you found us here.   We hope to hear from you soon.


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Re: new here
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2008, 11:25:30 AM »

I understand about sister-n-laws that are out of the picture and then show up when their spouse dies. My brother's wife did the same. She is trying to claim benefits that should go to my two nephews. She is not my nephew's biological mom.
She had left him and had been living in Florida for the last 5 1/2 years. She showed up after he first had his wreck which left him paralyzed and tried to tell us his family . Yes, us, his mom dad, sisters, and 2 boys what and how everything was going to be. Needless to say we didn't see eye to eye with her and had to get my brother's power of attorney.She went back to Florida.
They didn't ever get divorced. Johnny's exact words were he wasn't going to go through another divorce. He knew he didn't have much time left. He was also very spiritual and knew divorce was not God's will. So he opted to not to ever divorce her. The way he saw it was she was in Florida and he was here. Several hundred's of miles away.
He told us when he died not to call her. He didn't want her at his funeral. As the law in our state would have. When he died the corner could not even remove him from our parent's home without her consent. She had to be called.

So up here she came to play the part of  a grieving widow. Let me tell you she did some real boo-whooing. With not a tear in her eyes. Sat right beside mom  which prevented my sister or me from sitting by mom. Mom needed at least one of us girls beside of her. At least Dad was beside of mom. Mom almost passed out when she went up
 to see my brother the last time.Dad caught mom but..... Took Sis and I a few minutes to get to her.
Thanks to that wonderful sister-n-law of mine.

Long story short. She has decided she is going to be cremated and wants to be put beside of my brother. yeah!!She was living with another man in Florida but wants to be put next to my brother.
I say send her on. There is a lot of nice big open fields here and I am a complete klutz. She isn't going to be put next my brother. He wouldn't be resting if they put her by him. Like I said send her on , I am a klutz. Everybody knows that.

You are a kind hearted person and you were and are grief stricken. I am sure you wanted to believe she had changed. I wanted to believe my brother's wife had changed but as in our case and the same as yours , it just wasn't so.