Another first, his birthday

[WendyRN]

I've been avoiding looking at the calendar as I know this is coming.  Keith was born on May 4, 1986 in Vancouver, B.C.  He was immediately loved and adored by mom, dad, Holly and Wade and his big extended family.  We knew he would be our last child and forever my baby.

We didn't really get to celebrate his last birthday on Earth - his 21st.  The only year he didn't have a cake.  I bought him a couple of birthday presents but he didn't get the big family celebration that a 21st should be.  He had had quite a fight with his brother and things were tense.  I thought when things had settled down we would find a way to mark that special occasion.  I didn't know we'd run out of time. 

I don't know what to do for this day that means so much.  When all the wonderful memories swamp me, I can't comprehend his loss.  I still have so much trouble understanding that he's gone.  I do get a rush of understanding when I relive in my mind the circumstances of how I believe his accident happened but I try my best to block that out. 

Wendy, Keith's mom

[MelissaCharliesMom]

Wendy - All I can say is I am so sorry. Theres nothing I can say to make this easier. It will be 4 years this June for us. The firsts were horrible , but quite honestly for us the years since havent imporved or gotten easier.
No on antelyouwhat to do for his birthdays or the holidays. What you NEED to do is whatever feels right to you. It is imperative that whatever we do to remember our kids, we do it because it feels right to us or its what we want.I am so sorry and wish none of us had reason to be here.

[JONBOYS MOM]

HI WENDY:
 THE FIRST IS BY FAR THE WORST!! I FEEL FOR YOU IM GOING ON 2 YRS THIS JUNE,I CAN GIVE YOU A SUGGESTION ON WHAT WE DID!! I BOUGHT WHITE BALLOONS FOR HIS 23 RD BDAY 23 WHITE BALLOONS WE RELEASED TO THE HEAVENS IN HONOR TO OUR BELOVED BOY, WE ALL STARED AT THEM TIL THEY DISAPPERED THEN SHED A TEAR,IM DOING THAT EVERY YEAR NOW!! I WISH YOU PEACE ON  THAT DAY, JUST REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS..

LOVE ALWAYS
JONBOYS MOM
DONNA

[Karen Paul]

Wendy - your Keith was born the same year as my nephew Chris - only Chris was born December 1st. Chris died in Nov. 2003 just three weeks before his 17th birthday - since his death day, the holidays and his birthday are all sandwiched together - those two months are very difficult - we have gone through 5 birthdays without Chris here..

We started a tradition of ringing bells for Salvation Army on his birthday... it helps us to be doing something and helping people in his name.. this past birthday (which would have been his 21st) both sides of the family had dinner together - we always meet at the cemetery and say a few words, listen to a song or read a poem and then release balloons - it is a sad way to celebrate a day that should be so happy - but at least we get to see each other and do something together in remembrance of Chris..

Only you will know what's right for you.. on your boy's very special day. Keith's birthday happens to also be my wedding anniversary - and in another twist of fate I married a guy named Keith - so I will certainly be remembering your Keith on his day and saying his name out loud and wishing him Happy Heavenly Birthday..

luv and hugs, Karen
Chris' aunt

[Rebecca]

The first birthday was horrific but we did something that made us feel a little better.  Jason loved pizza.  We invited his friends and some of our friends and we went out to the cemetary and talked to him.  We then came back to our home and ordered pizza from his favorite place and spent the time talking about Jason's antics.  It gave us a lift for a while.  We are coming up to the 3rd. bd.  The organization I was President of is having a big fund raiser on Sept. 5th his should have been 34 birthday.  I won an award from the organization and it is part of my healthy heart but it being Labor Day weekend, I decided that we would go to Cape Cod and our daughter and SIL would visit for a few days.  I could not see square dancing and laughing and having a good time knowing that this was the day I gave birth to my son and he is no longer here.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

[Dottie (Tammie's Mom)]

I know that words don't really help. Just know I am thinking of you.

Hugs,
Dottie Tammie's Mom

[Jeanneb]

Wendy,

We have had 5 BD's without Philip and the 21s BD was the hardest.  Philip had his 18th BD 3 months afte he died.  At the time we decided to buy a present in his honor for the family and that has worked for us.  Philip was also my baby and now would be an uncle.  He was always such a big kid and we've thought future presents to celebrate his BD will be things for the yard for the grandkids.

Philip's brother and sister threw a party with mutual friends of his for his 21st BD also.  I will say hubby and I didn't attend because we felt like if he'd been here we wouldn't have gone so we let the kids all get together and celebrate for their brother.

I just know how hard this is.  There is no right or wrong, just whatever is best for you and your family.  Just know that I care.

Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

[tsjones]

My sons 21st birthday was one month after he died. My family gathered at the cemetary, sang happy birthday to him, and let off 21 balloons. I gave everyone a "present" from Jordan...a small picture of him in a frame, and then we all went back to our home and had a cook out. I even made a birthday cake. I got out all the photo albums and scrap books and we all just sat around and looked at them and said..remember when? It was a great tribute to my son. It got me through the day. I felt him there with us. Truthfully, there has never been a day that I haven't felt him with me. He is with me always. I love you Jordan.

[Donna Jasons mom]

Hi Wendy:
Sometimes I think the anticipation of that day are worse than the actual day.  Our Jason's birthday is April 29th this will be his fourth birthday without him.  We have done different things each year and I usually take off work but this year I think I will work, still celebrate and mark that day with some celebration.  We have done many things over the years, balloon releases, graveside memorials.  You should do whatever you feel you can.  Everyone can only do what they are able to do I will be thinking of you and your family.  I hope you feel a warm breeze brush across your face and know it is your precious son telling you he is ok.
One day, one moment, one breathe at a time!!
hugs and love
Donna (Jason's mom)