Author Topic: when I woke up  (Read 12908 times)

Shirl

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when I woke up
« on: March 15, 2008, 05:48:59 PM »
Hi everyone
I've been thinking about all of you...reading more on the site.
I've been feeling so down (more than usual). I look around and see so many of us are feeling so badly. It's just not fair.
This morning I woke up a 8:00, I've been just turning over and going back to sleep for as long as I could (unusual for me) for the last year and a half. But this morning I got up and ready for my day, went and got a Timmys coffee..My neibours came out of their house at the same time and we must have talked for about 30-40 mins. I usually try to avoid people these days. Then we went on our way...I looked up at the sky and smiled and thought to myself "I want to live" I know my husband would NOT want me to be sooo sad and withdrawn. There's a few little things that happen to me that tell me my husbands with me right at that time and always puts a smile on my face to know he's watching over us.
So I've actually had a not so bad day. Finally.
Shirl

Irene

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2008, 08:59:05 AM »
Hi Shirl,
   I'm glad to hear that you are having a good day. I read the tell-tale sign of you being another Canadian, and wanted to welcome you to the board. I think that the
chat with the neighbours was just enough of a social time, that you needed, and I'm happy for you, that there has been a bright spot for you today.

sweetpea

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2008, 05:08:18 PM »
Hello Shirl,

I am glad your day's going well, your days are going to get better!!! just try and focus on the wonderful memories you shared with your husband, the things that made you laugh, the certain way  he smiled...or just the way he looked at you.

Let these memories warm your heart!! as long as they live there he is always with you. You were so correct he would not want you to spend your days and nights not living Your life!!!! he would want you to live them to the fullest!!!! and not drown yourself in sorrow.

So let this be the first day, of many more to come of Not Having A Bad Day....  :) :)

Sweetpea...

 P.S. " life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but, by the moments that take our breaths Away!!!

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2008, 12:57:30 PM »
Thanks so much for your replies.
Well, that didn't last long.
Back to where I was...if not worse. Every time I turn around something else goes wrong. The government is ripping me off large...and I was completely honest about everything.
Somethings wrong at work, we already got 4-5 hrs cut back...now...I'm down to 28 hours a week...I can''t see how anyone can survive on that. Geeeeze.
My anger is worse...disrespectful to some people...even my boss. I did appologize to him though. I feel like crap and have no control. I'm supposed to be supportive for my boys, and I can't even seem to do that right.
I never did agree with antidepressents (for myself, but ok for some people) Now I've been trying them and none of them seem to make a difference. I really don't want to go talk to a stranger (counciling). But I'm now willling to try anything. I can't stand it anymore. My sister-in-law found somewhere for me to go check out tonight...she's even coming with me to make sure I go. And for support.
My friend said to me the other day "oh, we all have bad luck, but I don't talk about it"...( the difference is that she has someone to talk to..just like I did at one time)...that really hurt my feelings. I know she's somewhat right, but she kept telling me this whole time to "TALK" don't hold it all in...so I did. Now I don't feel comfortable saying anything, because I don't want to bother her with it. Don't get me wrong...she's been great the whole time.
I'm so sorry for such a long venting letter. But, thanks for listening
Shirl

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2008, 04:43:45 PM »
Well, my sister-in-law took me to the counciling place, unfortunately, they were all booked. But they did make an appointment for me for Thursday, so I'll definately be able to get in and set up..papers filled out..ect. That's all I know about it right now.
Even though nothing came from it..I'm still glad I made a move.
We'll see how it goes on Thursday

sweetpea

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2008, 07:22:24 PM »
Hi Shirl,

 Sorry you are having such a rough time!!! but here's something that might cheer you up concerning your hours at work.... if you were working full time, and your hours are cut down like they were.... take some of your pay-stubs to the unemployment office and file for "partial unemployment" this makes up the difference of the hours that you were cut!!!

Your employer will have to pay for this :D  so in most cases employers usually chose to give employee's back their hours... ;D ;D they don't want to pay you for not working...... :D :D :D :D alot of people are not aware that they can apply for this unemployment! they think you have to be totally unemployed.

I hope this helps you. Plese let me know what happens. I am praying for you, that life gets better for you and your family.

Sweetpea

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2008, 03:01:25 AM »
Thanks Sweetpea
That's good info for most...I appreciate it.
Unfortunately...my work Has in fact applied for "workshare" which sounded just fine to me...but...they include the tiny bit of money I get "survivor benefit", because of my husbands death..they're including that as an income...Darn Government...I couldn't believe it.
Thanks again so much for trying to help.
Shirl

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2008, 03:11:02 AM »
Hi Again
I also meant to add that once I get all the proper documents, I'll be going to the union and putting in an appeal with the government. May not be any good for me rigjt now and may not even work out..but it's worth a try...I'm sick of the government ripping me off.
Shirl

sweetpea

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2008, 04:06:54 PM »
Have you applied for social security from your husband?

 Sweetpea

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2008, 04:25:51 PM »
I get what you call "survivor benefits"...kind of like widow's pension, before I turn 65 yrs old.  (another 20 yrs away) That's all they give. And believe me, it's not much. Huge difference. If he were only here...
Tomorrow his parents and sister are coming over for easter dinner. Haven't seen his parents sice Christmas. They're great.
Hope you have a nice easter too.
Shirl

sweetpea

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2008, 12:32:59 AM »
Shirl,
Hang in there I know it's hard... but don't give up.

 Pray, and keep on Praying,  Prayer is a healer.

 "Don't ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet!!!  :D :D

 Be Blessed Today!!!

 HAVE A GREAT EASTER WEEKEND !!!!! Everything willl be alright.  :D :D

Sweetpea

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2008, 09:24:07 PM »
Hi Sweetpee
Thanks so much...you're right...I like what you said about guiding footsteps, that's so true.
It was great to see my in-laws (I think we can all see in each other, how much we miss him)...we had a beautiful dinner, soooo much food, I think I'm still stuffed, ha,ha.
I feel a little more relaxed. And you are right, I know it, it will be alright, might take some time, but we'll be fine.
Thanks for listening and replying...you've helped a great deal
Shirl

sweetpea

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2008, 01:28:10 AM »
Hi Shirl,

I'm glad you had a good time with your in-laws and stuffed your self in the process  ;D it's good to hear your spirits are better!!! see, I told you it will get better it does take time I know, but it will get better.

 I'm here anytime.

 Happer Easter!!!    Sweetpea

Shirl

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2008, 12:55:54 PM »
Hi
Well, like I keep saying...it just seems to get worse. I'm so sick of bad luck.
Now, my sister is sooo sick...she was in the hospital for almost a week (dehydration, liver, pancreace :[forget how to spell]: and a couple of other things)...and didn't even call...because she didn't want us to worry, we had enought problems, geeeze.
And they can't even figure out what's wrong yet.
I need my husband sooo bad, I have nobody here. I don't know where to turn. I just thank god that I can come on here to talk. Now my friends are slowing down, they don't get it.  They think I shoud be moving on by now...well, I can't...I wish it were that simple.
The day that I told you about going to counciling...well, they were all booked up that day...I never did go back. I just don't feel comfortable going in and talking to a stranger..although, that's why they're there.  :-\
Thanks again for listening.
Shirl

sweetpea

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Re: when I woke up
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2008, 03:04:21 AM »
Shirl,

 I so sorry that your sister is sick and having such a bad time, I will pray for her and you... you need a HUG!!!!! I know that it seems that it couldn't get any worse.
 I want you to just try and think positive. I know that's so hard to do when things look so bleek!!! but just try.... have a positive vibe that your sister will get healthy and recover, and as far as your friends go don't let what they say get you down.

Don't quit trying when the going get's rough, the best fruit grows in the valleys. Working through the hard and difficult times helps us grow and develop charactor. Grief is a human condition that each one of us will go through at one time or another , and no one is exempt.

I say that, to just say this ....try and stay as positive as you can, release it to God for it is trully in his hands, it is nothing that you or I can possibly do but let God work his wonders.
I am still in your corner praying for you and your sister. Please let go and let God!!!
 it will be alright. He might not come when we need him, but he's always on time!!!!!


Sweetpea