Author Topic: So hard...  (Read 5067 times)

soulful_grrl

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So hard...
« on: February 11, 2008, 02:01:45 PM »
Sometimes the pain of losing my friend is just agonizing... i can't begin to understand why he chose suicide over talking things out.  i guess he felt it couldn't be talked away... funny thing is... i feel that way now too... this pain im feeling is overwheleming and complex and it is something i can't wish away... i can't think away... i can't pray away... i can't ask him to take it away... it's there... i miss him... his name is Jim... he took his life 2 days after my birthday... i CANT believe it... im so lost...

sweetpea

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2008, 05:23:17 PM »
Dear Soulful_grrl

I know that it is so very painful losing a friend, even more so one that chose to take his own life. Your friend probably felt he had no one to talk to.

I want YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM HERE TO LISTEN!!!!!! say whatever is on your mind.
I know that the pain you feel is so great and you have questions of WHY?????

Please come back to the boards and talk  say what you feel, it's a process we all go through when we lose a loved one.

Please take care of yourself do not feel that you are alone, it will get better,
 it will take time.   

I am praying for you

Sweetpea

Hope

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2008, 06:53:42 PM »
(((((Soulful_grrl)))))

I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much.  It is so hard losing a friend anyway & I can't imagine the pain that is added when suicide has happened & questions are left open & unanswered.  Please know that this is such a soft, safe place to be.  Come back often & talk about it.  It helps so much when we're grieving to have someone to talk to about our loss, someone who really understands & cares.  Everyone here cares & will listen.

Hope

Crushed

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2008, 08:54:17 PM »
Unexpected death and suicide add another layer to grief and totally smush our emotions together and it takes time for all of that to settle down so that we can even begin to process what has happened.
I feel that those that take their own lives are in such a dark place and in so much pain that they can't think rationally and don't think about what that act will cause their loved ones. They just want to stop the pain so badly and in doing so cause heart break and turmoil for those they leave behind.
You can't begin to process it all yet as it is so fresh and you haven't gotten your head around it yet. In time you will and you will learn to accept what you can not understand.
Their are several that post here that are dealing with loss from suicide and they will most likely respond to you in time. This is a wonderful place to come and talk and learn.

soulful_grrl

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2008, 02:27:17 PM »
Thank u all for ur kind words.  This truly is so hard and all i want/need is to just fall asleep... i keep thinking if i fall asleep i will a.) never wake up or b.) it will all be a bad dream...

we had so many plans... we were going to have kids together... we were going to grow old together... that can't happen now... ever... he took it from me... forever...

i can't stop crying... i will come back when i can see and type more...

Crushed

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2008, 06:12:53 PM »
crying is good and it releases bad chemicals from the body. In the beginning of grief I was so tired but I couldn't turn my mind off to sleep. Just take it slow and make yourself rest even if you have to set a timer to do it.  Be gentle with yourself.

sweetpea

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2008, 03:43:00 AM »
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

It will be hard for you, but your days and nights will get better.

Please come back when you are able.....

Sweetpea

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2008, 09:53:33 PM »
i'm sorry for your loss. one of my good friends committed suicide april 21,2005. that was so hard,.
then 3 weeks & 1 day later on may 13,2005 my niece(candi-23) was killed by a 18 yr. old guy that told his 2 friends he was going to scare them to death when he came over a hill & hit candi head-on killing her instantly. she had just left her son( josh -7 at the time) t-ball game on her way to meet her husband for a cook-out. josh had went home with his grandparents or he'd been in the truck also.
the guy was convicted of manslaughter " dec.2006" then the jury gave him 10 yrs. probation the next day.
then on jan 24,2008 randy b. was arrested for violating his probation. he hadn't done anything he was suppose to.

we went to court last friday " feb 8,2008" & they revoked his probation & he got 7 yrs. in prison. he'll be eligable for parole in 31/2 yrs.

sending hug's,
martha

sweetpea

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2008, 10:24:30 PM »
Martha,
 
It is so hard when we suffer the loss of love ones.
 I hope that your suffering gets better with each passing day.
Just keep remembering the good times and cherish them dearly.

My prayers are with you and your family.

 Sweetpea

Hope

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Re: So hard...
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2008, 05:34:37 AM »
Soulful_grrl,

Just checking on you.  How are you feeling?  Have you been able to get some sleep?  It helps to get a good cry & to get some sleep, too.  Please let us know how you're doing, if you feel up to it.

Martha, I'm glad that that guy is in jail for now.  It must be so hard for your family being in the same area that he's at.  I wish that there was a way to keep him there longer, but I'm glad that the judge put him in jail for now.  I'm sorry that you're going through this.

Hope