Author Topic: Hopefully I got through  (Read 4080 times)

Judy-Marc's mum

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Hopefully I got through
« on: February 06, 2008, 03:37:21 AM »
On my way to work this morning I was doing the speed limit on the highway and one of the young boys from our computer department went flying past me in his hotted up car.  It was like I was standing still.  When I got there he wasnt there. 
I saw him about an hour later and asked him what speed he was doing.  His reply "I dont know but pretty cool huh".  I told him that no it wasnt "cool" and that if I saw him doing that again, even if he thought that I was a bitch, I would call the police on him. 
I went on to explain that I had lost my 18yr old son (14th months ago on sunday) in a car accident due to speeding and that I wouldnt like any other family to go though what we all go through if I could help it.  I also told that I do rather like him and would like to have him around for a bit longer. 
Long story short I was crying whilst I told him about Marc so Iam the one who ended up getting a hug.
Hopefully the message got through about what can happen and that he now takes a bit more care on the roads.  Only time will tell.  He knows me well enough to know that I am not bluffing about the police.
Love to you all
Judy Marc's Mum
« Last Edit: February 06, 2008, 04:12:23 AM by Judy-Marc's mum »

Karen Paul

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2008, 07:06:55 AM »
Judy - so important of you to tell this young man Marc's story... I also hope it made an impression on him.. so glad you felt able to do it.. I'm sure Marc is very proud of you - as am I..

luv and hugs, karen
Chris' aunt

WendyRN

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2008, 08:25:35 PM »
Even if your young coworker thinks about and makes the good choice about slowing down half the time you've done a wonderful thing.  Good on you for speaking up as I believe many would not or could not do the same. 

The three boys who owned the atv's that my son and his friends were riding when Keith was killed have all sold their machines.  Keith hit a dirt berm and flew over a 150' embankment and landed in a shallow river below.  By the time the kids were able to get to him, he was gone.  Official cause of death was drowning.  They were camping in a remote region and it took some time before emergency personnel were able to get to him as cell phones were out of range.  His friends sat with him there, on the rocky beach, cradling his head and crying.  It was so very traumatic for all these young kids.  Over the next few weeks as Keith's and his brothers friends gathered at our home, we talked about risky behaviors and so many of them were careful not to drink and drive.  I would love to believe that Keith's death impacted any feelings of invincibility and prevents them all from making dumb choices on the road, but........

Wendy, Keith's mom

Rosie

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2008, 08:49:27 PM »
Oh how well I know.  Sometimes even though we tell them things they do not always listen.  I wish he would of listen.

lwuest

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2008, 09:05:07 PM »
Judy,
You did the right thing!  I would bet his Mom has told him the very same thing but kids tend to become deaf when parents spout the safety message.  I think it may have carried a bit more weight from someone who "is not telling him how to live his life".  Your story also reinforces the fact that you are not bulletproof and invincible when you are young.  You made him think and you did a good thing today.
Linda

Rosie

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2008, 10:09:03 PM »
I lost my beautiful son.  I try to post, and what!!  Do you all think I lie, well, believe me that is not the case.  I guess like some have said, either you are in or not.  And that is the way I feel.  Not one of you have asked me how bad I feel.  Ya know...whatever..what kind of board is this?  Is this not  a Grieving board, or is this just a board where a few people come and forget about other grieving people?

Brenda(Jessica's Mom)

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2008, 11:54:22 PM »
How do any of us get THRU? to anyone. As you know I lost my eldest daughter in a car wreck, caused by HER, although noone can explain what exactically happend. What went wrong?? was she fiddling with the radio? No it was off.  Was she trying to use the cell? No, no records of calls to or from. My point IS now I have a impulsive, headstrong 17 yr old who is driving and im more scared than ever. She drives like there is no death, no sorrow, no sister. I have taken the car away, and now there is hatred and resentment, and so much NEW sorrow in the house. I am tired of it all- but in the end i realize I have no control of what happens to my kids. No Ultimate control. This sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 PS Rosie--- ((())) I am sory if I had missed your previous post, but i am very sorry about your son and would very much like to hear more about him!!! Please share his story and yours.

Judy-Marc's mum

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2008, 03:47:25 AM »
Hi Rosie
If you feel that you need me to talk to you can use my email address which is in my profile.  Please remember that I will not be able to reply straight away as I am in Australia and we have a big time difference.  I normally check my emails when I get home from work.
I know that a lot of things have been said and that we cant take them back (me included) as we all have a very different range of emotions happening all the time to each and every one of us.  Me at the moment I am very angry with the world, Marc and myself.  The complete trust that you give one person that you believed in and then it is broken is one of the most heartbreaking things.  My first thoughts after being told that Marc had died was who was in the car with him and are they ok.  You see Marc didnt have a license and he also took my car that night ( we were in another state for a wedding) as I said trust.
I know that sometimes we all seem wrapped up in our own emotions (that true,we are) but at the same time we all try to help each other.  We may not reply to a particular post for a while because we need to think through our emotions and feel that the words that we are saying are the truest that we can feel. 
Also sometimes words are said without thinking.  We really dont mean to be cruel.
Looking at your previous posts you not given us any indication of your story.  Please feel that you can tell us.
What was your beautiful boy's name and how old was he?  PLease tell us his story, as I had to tell Bendan Marc's yesterday
Hope to hear from you soon
Thinking of you
Judy Marc's Mum
« Last Edit: February 07, 2008, 04:11:16 AM by Judy-Marc's mum »

Tom

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2008, 04:49:26 AM »
I lost my beautiful son.  I try to post, and what!!  Do you all think I lie, well, believe me that is not the case.  I guess like some have said, either you are in or not.  And that is the way I feel.  Not one of you have asked me how bad I feel.  Ya know...whatever..what kind of board is this?  Is this not  a Grieving board, or is this just a board where a few people come and forget about other grieving people?

Rosie - Are you referring to the post you had made a little over an hour before this one?    If so, please know that it can take a while for folks to respond.  Sometimes posts can go for hours or more before they recieve a response.  Keep in mind that the folks here are in the same situation you are in and may not be in the best place to respond and be supportive.  I would also urge you to start a thread of your own.  When you do that you are much more likely to get responses that are specifically addressed to you and your situation.   This thread was started by Judy and people naturally will focus more on the person who started the thread.  Tell us about your son, tell us about your situation.  Post a picture, tell us about what it has been like for you.  When you do this I think you will find that folks will respond with love and compassion.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2008, 05:07:34 AM by Tom »
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Jeanneb

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2008, 05:46:20 AM »
Judy,

I hope you got through...for his sake.  It certainly sounds like you probably did.  I don't think he will forget your story and it is wonderful that you tried and you shared.

Hugs,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

Jeanneb

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2008, 05:52:25 AM »
I lost my beautiful son.  I try to post, and what!!  Do you all think I lie, well, believe me that is not the case.  I guess like some have said, either you are in or not.  And that is the way I feel.  Not one of you have asked me how bad I feel.  Ya know...whatever..what kind of board is this?  Is this not  a Grieving board, or is this just a board where a few people come and forget about other grieving people?

Rosie are you the same person "Rose" who posted earlier in February to a link started by Cathy?  I know that I responded to that.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Please start a new thread and tell us about your precious son. 

I lost my youngest son over 4 years ago now in a car accident.  It is all just so unfair. 

I would never think that someone would lie about such a horrible tragedy and we are here and we will listen.  Please give us a chance to know you and offer some comfort.

Sending you a big hug,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

Paula, Tims Mom

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Re: Hopefully I got through
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2008, 06:24:55 AM »
Judy.
It took a lot of courage for you to speak up. Good for you.
I hope it affects his decisionmaking. We can only do small things
sometimes but sometimes a small thing can make a difference.
God Bless.
Paula, Tims Mom