Author Topic: Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago  (Read 3246 times)

wilkeha

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Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago
« on: January 22, 2008, 12:03:07 PM »
I am new to this site.  I just came across it when I was doing some searching on grief support.  I suddenly lost my Mom back on October 4, 2007.  I am 34 and she was 65.  It has been horrible!  Luckily, I have the great support of my family and friends, but I live 6 hours away from them all.  My Dad is still living, so we talk daily as well.  My Mom did have some health issues that's she's been dealing with, but they had gotten them under control 2 yrs ago, and she was real good about keeping up with going to the dr and so on.  I do good at times, but then there are times when I just break down and can't stop crying.  In fact one night, I literally cried myself to sleep.  My husband works approximately 2 1/2 hrs away, so he's only home 2 days a week as he stays in a hotel for the other 5.  I talk to him several times daily and as well as my Dad too, but my Dad lives 6 1/2 hrs away.  I also have 3 great kids that keep me busy, but there are times, especially after they are in bed, and I'm by myself, that I just sit and think and then break down and cry.  I hear that it's all part of the process, but I was ready to lose my Mom.  Not that I ever would have been ready, but it all happened so quickly and suddenly. 
« Last Edit: January 22, 2008, 12:18:21 PM by wilkeha »

kelly37

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Re: Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2008, 12:53:02 PM »
Hi! We have both suffered the loss of a parent & I just want to say welcome to this site.  I found it almost 1 year after loosing my dad & wish I'd found it sooner!

I lost my dad in August 06! It was a tragic motorcycle accident that hospitalized both him &  my mom.  My mom came home, however, my dad didn't! I watched him suffer 18 days & it was horrible. Visions in my head that I know will never go away! I can relive those days like it was yesterday---it wasn't expected & nothing could have prepared me for those days in the hospital.  My dad was a healthy 65 year old man getting ready to enjoy his retirement but it all changed in a split second.

You are still very fresh in the grieving process! Your emotions are expected & it's just a part of the process. I still to this day can cry so hard  missing my dad! It comes from nowhere. My mom has since moved closer to me & we talk several times a day but we're always missing that piece---that piece of my dad.

It will get easier as days go on...somehow you manage to go on whether it be for your family or yourself----you will get through this.  Please come here often. It's full of people who understand & have been there. I have great support here at home too & wonderful friends---but none of them have lost a parent/sibling & they don't understand my frustration! Here everyone encourages & supports feelings that have to be let out!

Kelly
Dad & Keith,
Memories of you......I miss you both!
"Look Twice Save a Life"

Lonnie

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Re: Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2008, 02:36:01 PM »
Hi: I wanted to also welcome you to Webhealing, and tell you that I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful mom. I know that you are hurting, and crying is good for you. It helps you to work through your grief. And we have all found that telling our story to each other is also very healing. Everyone here understands how much it hurts to lose someone we love so much, and you will find much kindness, compassion and a listening ear. (And having someone to listen makes such a difference.) Come back often and share your feelings. It has helped me so much to get through the loss of my bio dad, and my stepdad (since I was 7.) Now I care for my widowed, ailing mom. It is so sad. They were married 44 years, so I also understand how much your dad must be going through. You're in my thoughts and prayers-Lonnie

wilkeha

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Re: Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2008, 04:53:48 PM »
Thank you both so much for your caring thoughts.  I just found out about this place today and it seems so welcome and friendly and feels like it's the right place for me to come to for support.  Thank you so much for your kind words. 

Lonnie

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Re: Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2008, 05:45:14 PM »
Wilkeha: You are so welcome. We're glad you found us. I have been in counseling through the illness and death of my dad, and it has helped with so many things that I am having to deal with, (such as caring for my mom), but I can honestly say that this board helped me through my grief even more than the counseling. So I'm a big believer in Webhealing.   :) There's always a great group of people who care so much about each other.  Talk to you again soon-Lonnie

christina

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Re: Loss of Mom going on 4 months ago
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2008, 07:02:57 AM »
Hi Wilkeha,
I am very sorry for the loss of your Mom. I lost my Dad August 9th 2007. I can tell you time eases the shock and hurt. I am smiling more. I am starting to be able to think of my Dad and not break down every time.
It is wonderful that you have support around you. Being able to reach out knowing someone is there is such a comforting feeling. Your boys and husband will keep you busy too. For me having my regular routine keeps my mind active on what I'm doing. The nights are difficult for me as well. I suppose that is when our minds are calm and then all the emotions come pouring out. Sometimes for me being alone is a good thing. At night or during the day I can cry or be angry without having to explain it to anyone.
Again I can say time has been the best remedy for me. Time and love.
I'm also learning to better appreciate life. Through my kids, husband and family. I see them with deepened love.
I hope you will continue to come back and talk with us.
                                  Blessings to you and your family.      Christina
Blessings, Christina