Angel date/ and another loss to the family

[hummingbird]

Hi
Hope you all had a great christmas and new year!
Tomorrow is my brother chris's angel day, i can't believe a year has gone by so quick,I am still so very sad and miss him so much but have come to turms with his death and i am on the path of healing.

We all had abit of a knock back on saturday 5th january, My dad  has 5 children from his 1st marrage who i see but i am not as close to them as i am my mums 3 children from her 1st marrage who my dad adopted, i am the youngs out of 9 children.
My brother Denis got admitted to hospital on friday with pneumonia he bucked up over night, on saturday morning my dad got a call to say he had take a turn for the worse, my dad went straight to the hospital by the time my dad got there he had died he was only 49.It was all so sudden we never thought this would happen.
I feel bad as i feel like i should be feeling more  then i do about his death, after chris's death i found it so hard to cope with every day life but i was so close to him.
It is all so very sad but i don't think i could cope at all if it had hit me like when chris died.
I am feeling the pain more for my dad as he has lost two sons in less then a yr n both of them being under 50, chris 44 and denis 49, my dad is 80 and he keeps saying it should have been him and not them and that is very upsetting.
Denis has for children that are sorting all his affairs so that takes the presuure off of my dad.
We were all hoping this yr was gonna be better then last yr as we had all lost chris, are rock.
Life just seems so unfair
Thanks for listening
take care Hugs to all Helen

[Lonnie]

Oh Helen: I am just so very sorry for the loss of another family member. I know you are hurting, not just for yourself, but as you said, for the losses that your father has experienced also. Please let us know how you are, and how your dad is, and if there is anything we can do. I am just so very sorry, and I'll keep you in my prayers! Many hugs-Lonnie

[hummingbird]

Hi lonnie
I'm not to bad at moment having alot of stress from my exhusband with contact with the children, i have tryed so hard to keep the children incontact with him but since getting the decree through in september he got married in october and is causing all sorts of problems see the children less and less due to he new wife, im just so fedup with fighting and arguing that i stopped all contact between him and me but i have just found out through my mum that he is stopping seeing them during the week. All the changes have cause problems with the childrens behaviour, the children blame it on me all the time and i'm always the bad one,
So this is the final strew for me and i have decided to let the courts battle it out so i am stopping contact i don't know what else to do as it is causing so much stress on myself i don't want stop to them seeing there dad but when it is causing so many problems i feel i don't  have much choice.
Its all on their terms, my head just feels so screwed up.
Thursday went well it was strange i still cry but it is getting easier, ican;t beleve it been a yr since chris was taken away from us, my sister and i got a take away and sat talking it was great are bond that we already had is growing more all the time, we are both having troubles her and her husband and me and my ex husband its great we can lean on each other with emotional support.
On the 5th the club that my brother use to swim for held a The Chris Hunt Butterfly Channel challenge, in memory of my brother, so many people turned out to take part in the event there was over 100 swimmers ranging from 7 up to 60s and between them all they had to swim 23 miles they raised over £300 for a choice of our charity. It was a great event i am hoping to start swimming with the club once i get over this cold i have at the moment and i will be able to take part in the event next year.
Well thanks for listening take care
Hugs Helen xxxxxx

[Lonnie]

Helen: Bless your heart-all you are going through, and dealing with an ex and his new wife also!    I think you are right to let the courts handle it. There are some stresses that are just too much physically and emotionally. We had to ask my daughter to move out when she graduated from high school, as she was causing so many problems. My health just couldn't take anymore of the strife, so I understand completely what that kind of stress can do to a person. I'm glad that you are bonding with your remaining family more all the time, because we are learning how quickly life is over, and that we are not guaranteed more time always, so we try to enjoy every day and love as much as possible. Please write any time. I watch this board also, because it is slower than the main board and sometimes people check it a little later. I am sure that some of the others will write in as well. Many prayers-Lonnie

[hummingbird]

ARRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I just don't know what to do anymore, i've tryed to contact my solicitor but she is away at the moment so i don't know what to do for the best.
I want my kids to see their dad but i think it just causes more problems.
The kids saw their dad over the weekend and this is the first week that he hasn't seen them during the week and already i have had my daughter crying her eyes out wanting to see her dad, the kids have a mobile that they take with them when they are with him and i always ring them to make sure they are ok but their dad can't seem to even pick up the phone n talk to them, the kids have no credit on their phone at the moment as i just haven't had the money to put any on there, and if they ring from my phone he will not answer it.
Their dad is a every selfish man and as long as he is happy he don't give a shit about anyone else,His new wife has 2 children and he spends more time with them which dosen't help. This makes me feel so sad for my children.
Chantelle is 7 and is feeling it so much more then leo(4) who is never really that worried about seeing his dad unless he's being told off, the other nigth after their dad had totally pissed me off on the way home leo just came out with "i don't want to go to daddys anymore coz he is always upsetting you", i was stund as he is only 4, he is a very loving boy and very much a mummys boy but i still don't want him to take sides as they should love us both the same, where as chantelle is very much a daddys girl and it has hit her hard and is feeling very left out when it comes to her dad.
Sorry to rant on like that i just had to stop myself from exploding its driving me crazy with what he is putting his own children through.
Is ther anyone that can give me any advice about if i should let the visits carry on or stop them and go thorough the courts.
Thanks for listening
Hugs Helen