Author Topic: anniversary of my mother's passing  (Read 5658 times)

Irene

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anniversary of my mother's passing
« on: November 01, 2007, 07:30:06 PM »
Hi,

   Tomorrow, November 2nd, will be the third anniversary of my mother's passing. Three years ago, tomorrow morning, I got a call from my brother saying that the doctors had found a blockage in my mother's bowels, and she would possibly have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of her life. An hour later, my sister called saying that our mother was not expected to live through the day as the doctors had found gangrene in mom's bowels and there was nothing that could be done.
  The rest of the day was a nightmare. By 11:20 that night, my mother had passed away and life changed for all of us that loved her so much.
  I am sitting here tonight, with a "movie" of that last night playing through my head. If I could have only changed the outcome, it would have been wonderful.
  I did learn that I could live through this, which is something I would never have thought 3 years ago, when she first died. On the other hand, losing someone that I loved with all my heart, has been incredibly difficult in that I know that there will never be a day that I wouldn't miss my mom. I will always have the weight of sadness that I wish I had just one more day with her.
  I want to thank all of you that have been so caring and compassionate with your words, these last three years. I will never forget that.

Crushed

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Re: anniversary of my mother's passing
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2007, 08:07:21 PM »
Irene, these anniversaries can be so hard and take an emotional toil on us. It has been many years since the passing of my parents and it can still sneak up on me. As time has gone by it does get softer and more good memories come to the front pushing the bad ones back. If our loved ones could come back, they probably wouldn't want to leave the perfect place they are in to come back here and the sickness and all they were living with! I know you want more, we all do and we must be grateful for what we did have. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and know that I care about you.

Irene

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Re: anniversary of my mother's passing
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2007, 08:16:28 PM »
Thank you,

    I have found that it does get softer as time goes by, and it isn't as much the roller coaster anymore, but I never have a day that I don't miss my mother. I love how you write that our loved ones wouldn't want to leave that perfect place. Just before my mother died, she talked a lot about her father, who had died of cancer when she was just 5 years old. The day before she died, she talked to my one sister about all of the good times that she had with her father, when she was a little girl. I know that she loved God, but she also loved her father very much, and had gone most of her life without him. I would think that she looked forward to seeing them both. I'm thinking of the dream that I had about 6 months after she died, where she appeared so happy and was telling me just how happy she was. Those sorts of thoughts give me comfort.
Thank you.

Lonnie

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Re: anniversary of my mother's passing
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2007, 10:14:08 PM »
Irene: I will also be thinking of you. You have a lovely way of expressing your love and admiration for your mom. I know you will always, always miss her. I wish it could be different, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Lonnie

laurenE

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Re: anniversary of my mother's passing
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2007, 04:10:08 PM »
Irene,

Thinking of you today.   Those anniversay dates are still tough to get through.  Guess they always will hold a bit of a sting.   I'm glad it seems to be less of a roller coaster ride for you though.   

  I bet mom has spent the last 3 yrs getting to know her father and catching up on all that he missed out on.   Someday when its time you too will get to catch up with your mom,  as will I.   I was just telling a friend today that the only good thing about loosing my mom was that I never ever have to go through that again.   Mom's bday was a few days ago so she was on my mind as well and we went to the cemetary.   Fall is not the easiest time of yr.     And soon we in the US will have Thanksgiving to go through.   I hope you had a good one there in Canada.

I'm hoping you will get a good nights rest tonite and will find all the support you need from family and friends to get you through today.

hugs,
lauren

Irene

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Re: anniversary of my mother's passing
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2007, 06:18:12 PM »
Hi Lonnie,
  Thanks so much for your kind words, and for all of the monitoring you do on this site.
It is all very much appreciated.

Irene

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Re: anniversary of my mother's passing
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2007, 06:26:26 PM »
Hi Lauren,
   Thank you for writing. I've always derived comfort from your words since my mom passed away. My life has certainly been different these last three years. I have had a really quiet night here, and just did a bit of window shopping with my son. I feel guilty that I haven't done what I initially planned to do which was to visit my mother's grave. It gets dark here very early these days, and I couldn't go during the day.
  I hope that you have a good Thanksgiving too and thanks again as always.