lexirae,
I am very sorry about the loss of your brother and father. I lost my father and sister within 7 months of each other. It has been seven months since we lost my sister. For a long time I could not grieve because I was too busy being strong for my mom, kids and brother-in-law. Let your grief out because it is going to come anyways. I am learning (slowly) to take care of me first because if I have a nervous breakdown from holding my own grief in who will look after all the people that I love? What happened to you is sad, really,really sad...you need to acknowledge that and let yourself cry, scream, wallow, what-ever you need. This site has been so great for me, I am sure you will get so much support from everyone on here.
Take care,
Robyn