my sister

[betsy1486]

i just joined this site today.... kinda looks like a nice place to chat. i am 21 and lost my older sister 7 months ago. i've been numb for those past 7 months but it just kinda hit me the past 2 weeks that she's gone. her birthday was 2 weeks ago so maybe thats why. but we were only 17 months apart. she died in an early morning car accident... worst phone call to wake up to ever. i've recently been suffering from insomnia... i get about 2 hours of sleep a night. i just feel kinda lost and whatnot. i dont feel like anyone understands this at all. well, none of my friends i mean, because none of them have gone thru it. she had a fiancee, but i can't bring myself to talk to him at all, or her best friend. every time i talk to them it hurts, i feel guilty for not calling them on special occasions but it kills me to hear their voice. ahhhh, i dont think this has a real point to it, just posting it because maybe someone feels as lost as me, or maybe someone did and knows how not to be lost. who knows

[Rangarab]

Hi,
Sorry about the loss of your sister.I am a newcomer myself but not new to grief.I lost my brother 15 years ago and remember feeling like nobody understood what I was going through.Everyone told me to be strong for my parents...like I wasn't hurting too!I remember being very angry at god and the person who hit my brother on his motorcycle.I still feel pain when I see his friends and on his birthday and I absolutely hate the holidays.I can't wait for them to be over.I don't talk about it with people because I feel like I should be over it by now but you never get over it...you just learn to live with it.

I read a good book the other day.It is called "I Wasn't Ready To Say Goodbye".It deals with the loss of a sibling and other things as well.It really hit home with me because there aren't many references for loss of siblings but this book addresses it very well and made me feel like I wasn't crazy for everything I was feeling when he died.

Let me know if this book helps you.

Rangarab

[Lonnie]

Hi Betsy: So glad you found us. Join us on the Main Board also when you get a chance. I also suffer from sleep disturbances since my dad died, and I care for my elderly mom. I think the nervous system just gets whacked, and it is difficult to find that peace needed to drift off to sleep, with so much on our minds.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, and I hope you will be able to share your feelings here, where people listen, truly understand. Prayers and Hugs-Lonnie

[Robyn]

Betsy,

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.  I too lost my older sister 7 months ago.  It was the day before her 35th birthday.  She died during pregnancy as did her baby girl.
At first I too had a hard time with her husband and her best friend.  Her best friend has called me everyday since it happened and it is much easier to talk to her now, it actually is very comforting.  My husband and my brother-in-law have always been close so we see him alot too.  It is always so hard when he comes over, it's like I just sit there waiting for her to show up!
I have sleep issues too.  I can be okay all day and then as soon as I try and fall asleep I am in an absolute panic.
I sometimes think it still hasn't really hit me or is just starting to sink in now.  I spent so much time at the beginnig making sure my mom and my kids were okay that I had no time myself to be sad.  I lived the first few months convinced that she was on a long vacation.  I have a little bit of experience with grief as we lost my dad 7 months before my sister.  While it is different for everyone I can remember it getting worse better and then worse again with him.
It is hard for anyone to understand.  The people in my life try so hard but, you are right, if you have not been through it is impossible to really get it.
This is a great place to talk to people who have similar situations and truly do understand what we are going through.
Take care,
Robyn

[hummingbird]

Hi Betsy,
I'm so sorry for your lost.
I lost my brother suddenly 10 months ago and i'm still having problems dealing with it.
Everyone deals with grief in different ways, i am having counselling which i am finding a great help.
I hope you find this site of some help i know i did, every one here has lost someone very close to them and they totally understand how you are feeling.
best wishes and i hope you find some comfort here
Hummingbird xxxxx

[middle sis]

Hi Betsy,
Sorry for the tragic loss of your sister. 7 months really isn't a long time, it is still so new, and raw. Please be gentle with yourself. All your feelings are normal. I still have issues with sleep. Not as severe as before, but I still don't sleep well.  I wish you didn't feel so lost. I am glad you found us though. We will try to help in any way we can. Take care
Middle sis

[4Kayla]

I just joined today and saw your posting.  I was looking for a place to find others that may understand my grief, and your posting hit close to home.  I lost my little sister to an accident on September 8th.  Like you said it was the worst call ever.  She was only 17 years old, and was killed with 2 friends, while the driver who caused the accident walked away unscathed.  I am 17 years older than my sister, so besides being the big sister, I felt like a second mom in a lot of ways.  I find that she is all I can think about, and seem to turn any conversation into something related to her.  You're not much further ahead in the grief process than I am, but has talking on these postings helped you?  I'm just wondering if there's anything out there that helps.

[Robyn]

4Kayla,

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how you feel...I lost my sister 7 months ago.  That is what is so great about this site.  While everyone's situation is a little bit different the people on here really understand your grief because they have they're own as well.  Sometimes it's easier to talk on here than it is to talk to my friends or husband just because so many are feeling what I am feeling.
Hope to here more from you and about your sister.
Take care,
Robyn

[Lonnie]

4Kayla: Yes, it seems to help so much to get your feelings out with people who have also lost a loved one. It has been such a healing place for so many of us. The people here are wonderful. You can join us on the Main Board as well anytime you'd like. I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. Prayers and Hugs-Lonnie