Author Topic: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS  (Read 4657 times)

Rangarab

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LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« on: October 08, 2007, 07:10:00 PM »
Hi,
I'm so glad I found this site.I thought I was alone in the world with the way I've been feeling but I realize I have company.I lost my only brother 15 years ago in a motorcycle accident.I was only 20 at the time and I never really dealt with the pain.I've really been missing him the past year.My mom passed away from cancer  last year at the age of 59 and I really needed him to be here for his support.I don't understand why I've had to deal with the loss of half of my family at such a young age.I'm only 36 and I have 2 young children who will never know their grammy or uncle.I just don't understand why this happened.I need to find some peace but the pain is just too unbearable at times.

Lonnie

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Re: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2007, 07:34:50 PM »
Well I am glad that you found us. This is a place to let your feelings out, and everyone understands, as they have all lost someone who meant so much to them. Join us on the Main Board as well, whenever you stop in. I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother, and your mother-very huge losses, and a large part of the history of your childhood memories as well. We have all found that when there is a new loss, it conjures up all the feelings about other losses as well. So don't be afraid to grieve, and share your feelings. It is the healthy thing to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Lonnie

Robyn

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Re: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2007, 07:36:33 PM »
Rangarab,
I'm sorry for all of your losses.
At 30 I too have lost half of my family.  My dad in Aug 06 to cancer and my sister March 07 because of pregnancy related issues-her baby was full term and died as well.
I have 2 wonderful step daughters with my husband and I (their mother also passed away 3 years ago)  I am thankful that they had a short time with my dad and my sister but wish they had more time.  My husband and I are thinking of having a child and it makes me so sad to think that they will never get to meet these amazing people.
I'm sure that you can relate to being so young but feeling so old and tierd. It is exhausting to grieve.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2007, 06:48:19 AM by Robyn »

kelly37

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Re: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2007, 01:18:03 PM »
Rangarab,
I too lost my brother 6 years ago in a motorcycle accident.  He was only 37; I was 31 at the time.  His b-day was 2 weeks later, he was buried on the 4th of July & his wife had their baby 3 weeks later!  I don't remember how I dealt w/all that. Time is a blur for me.  To top it off, my parents were then in a motorcycle accident last Summer & my dad at the young age of 65 died 18 days later.  Wow---the pain hit so hard. I was a zombie for a year!  My mom & I talk about the holidays last year & we have trouble remembering things we did!

I thought that loosing a brother was very hard, but loosing a parent is just as hard if not worse.  You know, you're going through it.  It's not fair.  I look at family pictures & wonder "why" all the time.  I wonder what we did to deserve this & I know that's not a fair question.  My faith has been tested but I truly believe God has them in caring hands up above & they're watching us girls down here.  My grandpa (my dad's dad also died 8 months before my dad)---so I've lost 3 men that I so desperately loved.  Now I miss their manly advice, their jokes, their smiles, their smells---I miss everything about them.   :'(

I also get angry that my children won't get to know their grandpa & uncle.  They were only 2 & 4 at the time when my brother died -- they have a few more years w/their grandpa.  But I tell you what---they may be young but their memories are surprising.  They can pull things out of the air that we forgot & make us laugh!!!

I hope you'll come here often. I find this a great place to vent.  It is a very understanding group who is here to support & encourage one another. I found this site 1 year after my dad's death & I wish I had found it sooner!  It's been a big help though!  Please come back often....

Dad & Keith,
Memories of you......I miss you both!
"Look Twice Save a Life"

Jean

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Re: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2007, 06:26:47 PM »
I am so sorry for your losses. I understand as I lost my sister and my mom within 5 months of each other this past year. My sister died at age 46 suddenly from a heart attack. My mom was diagnosed with cancer a month later and then succumbed to it within five months. I wish my sister was with me. Isn't that supposed to be the way? We are left with each other, to support each other through the loss of a parent. Instead, I grieved my sister while my poor mother deteriorated before my eyes.

You are not alone my friend. This is a good place to talk and grieve. Unfortunately, we all understand your pain.

Irene's sister, Jean

middle sis

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Re: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2007, 01:26:11 PM »
Rangarab,
I am so sorry to hear of your losses. I lost my only brother and sister almost nine years ago.  I bet it was very difficult for you when your mom passed and your brother wasn't there for support. Do you have any other siblings that can be there for you? Please come back and share more when you are up to it. This is the perfect place for it. We all get it to so degree or extent. Take Care

Rangarab

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Re: LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2007, 06:27:37 PM »
Hi,
Thanks for all of your replies.I don't have any other siblings and that's another thing that makes it so hard.I can't really talk to my dad because he has a history of major depression and I don't like to dump on him.My husband listens but he never knew my brother so it's hard for him to understand.This website has been a blessing to me.Even if I don't want to post, it helps to read what everyone else is going through and most of the time it's what I'm feeling.I just want to be happy again!!!!I don't know how to though.I go through the motions but there are always those holes there that will never be replaced.I want my family back!!!

Thanks for listening!!