Author Topic: I'm in a crisis  (Read 11346 times)

lainie

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I'm in a crisis
« on: August 13, 2007, 12:16:54 AM »
I just don't know how to go on, it was always just the two of us, and now it's only one.  I don't know how to hang on anymore.  I think that I try, but I just can't do it much longer by myself.
Elaine (Brynnie's mom)
My beautiful Brynn
Dec. 14/94 - Jan. 2/07

Dena

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2007, 01:50:12 AM »
((((((((Lainie)))))))) - Hold on tight to all of us here. Take each moment as it comes. You are never alone - we are all here for you.  Be patient with you.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

CRCmom

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2007, 05:01:47 AM »
The only thing I can say is hang on.  When I am feeling like I can't go on anymore, i just do the next right thing.  Not the thoughts that are in my head, but the next ok thing to do.  That may mean going to bed, or doing nothing but sit,  Just keep talking to us here and put one foot in front of the other and don't listen to what's going on in your head.  Your daughter wants you happy until you are together again.
LOVE AND GRACE ON THE JOURNEY,
PAULA


John-Danielle Marie's Daddy

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2007, 05:10:41 AM »
Dear Heartbroken (((((Elaine))))),
I just wish that I could give you a BIG (((((HUG))))) and let you just cry until you are exhausted on my shoulder. I know how hard it is and how much it hurts. Your beautiful daughter, Brynnie will forever be the light in your life.
I wish that there was a way to relieve your horrible pain and anguish.
As Dena told you...We ALL are here for you...We ALL understand and we ALL care and love you.

Take Care my dear friend,
John
Wishing You All Continuous Comfort & Peace,
John-Danielle Marie’s Daddy
1/4/95-2/20/06 (head trauma-motor vehicle accident)
“Her friendship was an inspiration, her love a blessing”

Wadesmom

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2007, 05:39:38 AM »
Elaine,
I also wish that there was something I could do to relieve your pain.  Please, please take care of yourself, one day at a time, minute to minute -second to second & small steps.  We care about you and like the others before me have stated, please know that we're here for you. 

Thinking of you Elaine,
hugs

Wadesmom

Dottie (Tammie's Mom)

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2007, 06:07:01 AM »
I am so very sorry. My heart aches right along with you. I know how the grief and emptiness can just take us over at times. Please know we are all here for you. I so wish I lived closer to you I would come over and just give you a really BIG HUG,

In my thoughts,
Dottie Tammie's Mom

JenKellisMom

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2007, 08:31:21 AM »
Elaine, I know the pain you are suffering right now and I hurt for you.  I haven't been able to post here lately because my head is in such a fog that the words to comfort anyone don't come easily.

I think what you are doing with Brynn's jewelry is a great way to keep her memory alive.  Hang tight and know we are here for you.

((((BIG OL' HUG!!))))

Lonnie

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2007, 08:41:37 AM »
Elaine, I'm praying for you today to be comforted, and to know that so many care about you. Remember all the good that you are doing in Brynnie's name, and know that people are being very positively affected by it. Hold on and trust that the grace and strength will be enough for each day. Rest whenever you can, and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Lonnie

Brenda(Jessica's Mom)

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2007, 09:44:52 AM »
Oh Elaine, I know your pain. Please hang in there and know how much we all care!

sandy2

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2007, 09:51:13 AM »
ELAINE, i wish i could just reach out & hug you forever. there just are no words to decribe our journey. but like weve all said we are here for you , please dont drift away! my heart aches for all of us especcially you today . i will pray for god to give you strenth today & always YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!!!! lov & hugs from ohio SANDY SHANES MOM . HANG IN THERE HON !!!!

laurenE

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2007, 02:05:28 PM »
You are not alone.   Here's  a hug and a prayer that you will get through this awful day.     
Come here for support and e-hugs,  but I do pray that you have someone in your life that you can run to so that you dont have to cry alone. 

I'm so sorry that your precious child is gone.

lauren E

Katie--Adam's Mom

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2007, 02:53:44 PM »
(((((Elaine))))))

It is so hard sometimes to go on for another second...many a time I have fought so hard to get through each second.  Start with one second, do something that takes a second, then something that takes a minute...even if it is counting to 60.  When that minute is over then focus on the next, then the next.  Read something, surf the internet, wrap your arms around yourself with a hug from your beautiful daughter and rock yourself, lay down with a soft blanket in a safe place, something, anything for a few moments more.  Let those moments keep adding up until they are hours, then you will have gotten through the day.  Keep reaching out and know that you are loved and have others here to support you.  Call a crisis line, a warm line or advocacy line or somewhere you can just talk or cry with someone if it is overwhelming.  Come here where we understand your pain and write your feelings down.

Holding you close in my heart.  I am so very sorry that your Brynnie was taken from you.  Hold on tight, Elaine.

Love and hugs,
Katie


Marianne

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2007, 04:21:07 PM »
Elaine,

I know how you feel, I feel the same way.  It's okay to feel.  You feel this bad, because you loved so much.  Let the feeling in - then, let it go out.  Feel it leave your body.  Feel the love and energy you are recieving here enter your body.  Let it in.  You can do it.  Take a deep breath.  Let in the love and support we have for you!  You are so loved.

Tell us a memory of Brynn.

I can tell you a funny one about Alek.  Once, when his step sisters were over, they decided to find out who could eat the most pizza.  Alek wasn't much of an eater - he still ate happy meals at 17 years old.  Well, he ate pizza that night.  He ate it, and he ate it and he ate it.  I think the final tally was nine.  He just had to win.  That was a great night!

Can you tell me about a great night with Brynn?

Know that you are not alone.

Love and Huggggs!
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)

VicSno

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2007, 04:27:52 PM »
Even as a bereaved mom I do not have any magic words to help soothe your broken heart.  "I'm sorry" just isn't enough.  It will soon be 7 years since my daughter died and I can tell you that the raw, bleeding pain does soften.  This board is a great support system, but there are times when we need face time with someone who understands.  Please check out the following two websites to see if there's a support group in your area: www.bereavedparentsusa.org [nofollow] and www.alivealone.org [nofollow]  And you know that all the wonderful people on this board are always here for you.

Cry until you are exhausted so you can get some much needed sleep and breathe... just one breath at a time.

Hugs from heaven,
VicSno

owensmom

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Re: I'm in a crisis
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2007, 10:45:48 PM »
Hi Lainie,

Marianne's suggestion to tell us stories about Brynn is perfect.  Our relationships with our kids go on, even though they're not here physically with us.  Telling stories of your sweet girl might be helpful, especially since we all want to know about her, and your loving relationship with her.

I know I tend to rattle on about Owen, but, for me, that's the gift he left me.  We had stories that were so funny and sweet, and while he's not here to share in them the same way the rest of us are, his stories are still HIM.  I would love to hear more about Brynn. 

When you feel like you can sit at the computer and pour out your heart, please do.  We're here, we reading, and feeling right along with you.

Anyone who can love as much as you can, certainly has a purpose in sharing your life with Brynn, with people who can understand your pain.  I would have never expected that I would be a part of a community such as this, but I am SO thankful.

If you can, tell us about a time when Brynn talked about friendship and what that meant to her.  Or, if that doesn't work for you, tell us about a time when she felt sad, because sad is a part of everyone's life, and children can be so open about what hurts.  They don't have the same limitations about feelings that adults have.  They haven't yet been corrupted by society's inability to feel and express those feelings.  Or, maybe you could just tell us about a time when the two of you shared a pizza, or watched a movie together.  We want to know what made the two of you laugh together.  Try it...or not...whatever works. 

I know (or at least, think I remember) that you are in Canada - east coast, is it?  Owen's father was from Perry Sound in Ontario.  While it's a long ways from California, this board is not a long way from our hearts.  We're here for you. 

Keep the tissues near the keyboard, and let us know you're okay.  We want you to be with us, no matter how long.  We all have to find our way through this un-f***ing-believable experience.  (I have quite the potty mouth, forgive me if filling in the blanks is offensive - I use certain words and phrases when no other words fit my pain!) 

We love you and Brynn, and want you to carry on HER spirit in YOUR future.

Love,
Linda
Owen's mom