Author Topic: Was gonna try to post something positive.....but  (Read 3528 times)

middle sis

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Was gonna try to post something positive.....but
« on: August 08, 2007, 07:26:43 PM »
I haven't posted in a little while, one because I was away on vacation, and two because my goal was to try and post on a positive note. I haven't been able to come up with anything positive lately, I tried, but it always ended up wrong. I am so frustrated...my brothers little boy was supposed to stay the weekend with me, because it will be my son and daughter's  birthday. He hasn't been able to come for the last two years. Anyhow, his mom called tonight and said, he hasn't been "behaving" so he can't come. I get so frustrated with her. That is always the "excuse". He is a good kid with me. I think her parenting is screwed up, I just don't have the balls to tell her that. She says she threatens him with having to come and live with me (like that is such a bad thing), but says that all the material things we have wouldn't make it a learning experience for him. And I get so sick of hearing her say how all his "bad quailities .....he gets from his dad".  That's such an unfair comment. He was only 11 mo old when his dad passed away. How can you justify...painting a picture lilke that in your childs head? It just seem so wrong to me. I want to scream!!!!! I tried venting to my dad, and he just see's the legality behind it all and tells me there is nothing I can do about it. My husband just acknowledges my frustration, but I don't feel he really wants to hear it. Why am I so angry? Why can't I just be so carefree about it all, like the rest of the people in my life. I just want to see my nephew be happy. I want to feel happy. I guess its just not possible. I want my life back! I want things the way they used to be!

Jean

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Re: Was gonna try to post something positive.....but
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2007, 07:35:28 PM »
Hi middle sis:

I'm so sorry to hear that you don't get to see your nephew. I can just imagine how frustrating it is for you. I know you must have to stay on good terms with his mom or she won't ever let you see him. It is so unfortunate when a family member dies and instead of bringing the family closer - most cases it just splits them all apart. My sister died 10 months ago and then my mom died 4 months ago. The only family I have left are my two half-sisters, and all they are interested in is what they get out of the estates. It is such a lonely feeling. I want my old life back too.

My thoughts are with you and I pray that you get to see your little nephew soon.

Jeannie

middle sis

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Re: Was gonna try to post something positive.....but
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2007, 08:10:41 PM »
Jean,
Thanks for your reply and understanding. I love my nephew so much, and it hurts to feel what  he must be feeling. My brother and sister have been gone 9 years in november, and in the beginning, we seen my nephew almost every weekend. Now the visits are few and far in between.
Sorry for the recent loss of your mom and your sister. Thank god I still have my parents. Not sure how I will handle that. Losing my only brother and sister was hard, and I felt completely alone, I don't know what I will do when God decides to call either parent home. In a way, I would hope to pass before them, as to not feel that emptiness and lonliness, but I also know that neither one of them could handle losing their only surviving child. I guess I will just have to learn to deal with it. I think it would be harder on them than it would be on me.....I guess. Does that make sense.

jazzgirl

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Re: Was gonna try to post something positive.....but
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2007, 06:06:17 AM »
Oh middle sis, I can completely understand what you are going thru. We have been fighting the x-wife the entire time to see my brothers oldest son. She is always punishing our family for when he "misbehaves".  I do not agree with her parenting also, but unfortunately, we can not do anything about that. She, finally, set up a set schedule every Wed. for my parents to pick him up. That has happened for 2 weeks now and she just ripped that away again. She said he was having issues. I just found out from my sister last night that he had told his psychiatrist that he wanted to commit suicide b/c he was so tired  of the fighting. His mother has been the one creating all of these problems. I am so so so angry at her b/c she never has put his needs 1st. It is all a control issue with her. He just found out about a month or 2 ago that his dad had committed suicide.  He had always been told that he was sick. I told my family how worried I was about him doing the same thing when he got older b/c he loved his daddy so much and wants to be with him so bad.  I worry so much about his well being. She has 3 other children and she is just so mean to these children. She curses at them all the time and spanks them as their punishment. Her children act like robots whenever they go anywhere. They are afraid to move. Tyler is like that too when he 1st goes with my parents, but after about 2 hours, he comes out of his shell and is a kid again. I just feel so bad for him b/c he is 10 years old and has been thru soooo much. His childhood has been ripped away from him. I am angry at my brother for that reason. He never even took into consideration what his sons would have to go thru after he left. I know he didn't mean too, but Tyler is the one suffering the most. His whole world was turned upside down and he didn't deserve that. I just don't understand how anyone can follow thru with suicide when there are young kids involved. How do you do that?