Mandy: I wanted to welcome you to the board, and hope that it will be a source of comfort to you! My mom went through something similar. After my dad's organs shut down in the hospital, due to a long list of complications as a result of triple bypass, the nurses bathed him and said we could go in. I absolutely wailed out loud. My mom just sat there completely stunned. She tells me that she has a difficult time crying even now, and letting it out that way. She wishes she could because she feels that it would do her good, but the tears have not flowed freely for her, and she was absolutely devastated by the loss of her husband of 44 years. In fact, he retired to be her caregiver, as she has so many things wrong. No one ever dreamed that he would die first. So don't feel like you are strange. People handle things differently, and I believe you are still in shock. Even though you have been through the funeral and all, your heart hasn't yet caught up with your head. Like Becky said, it will probably truly sink in later. And you said all you want to do is sleep (a form of escape from the reality), and I CAN'T sleep since my dad died, and I have the care of my mom. It's almost pathological for me. I started staying up all night, and it's been 2 years now! So we all do "crazy things" that aren't really crazy at all. Our nervous system has taken a hit, and the wiring is somewhat malfunctioning. You are still in shock. Also, this society rushes through everything so fast, that we really don't have proper time to grieve. We go through the visitation, the funeral, etc. lightning fast, and then it's all over, and we haven't even had time to realize what happened. Please drop by whenever you'd like to talk about your sister. We're here for you, and are so sorry to hear that she died, and at such a young age. Tell us more about her when you feel like it. Hugs-Lonnie