My sister killed herself one week ago, overdose. She did leave a note that i havnt seen yet. Last year she had attempted suicide, doctors pulled her thru. At that time she said she would never do it again and God must have a reason for her to survive. She had been strugling with drug addiction for years, she was more or less forced to live with a best friend way out in the country, we thought getting her away from the city drug scene would be a good thing. Yet this added to her depression, and im sure a feeling of that her family abanded her. she had issues with trying to earn her fathers repect and love back, and the day she killed herself she had talked to him on the phone about some money help with a repair on a fusebox her and her friend needed. he fefused, i have been told she was heartbroken, and i think this trigered the suicide. I had seen her 4 days before this happened and she was proud to tell me she was clean and sober 160 days, and she seemed in good spirits (maybe a mask she put on for her younger brother?) so this has been a shock to me. I have found in her bible where she wrote the time and date she excepted christ into her heart, sept 22 2001 7:00 a.m and that she felt calm and filled with the holy spirit. Also notes to God where she pleaded for guidence. As a christian myself i am questioning why he didnt help her in this world, take away the addictions, and why the depression and self hate just seemed to get worse??? and im feeling so guilty that i didnt do enough to help her, if someone you love is strugling, dont just assume things will resolve themselves, call them today, you might not have the chance tomorow. she was 49, i tuned 46 two days after her suicide, not a good b-day. if you have words of wisdom in dealing with the guilt, the grief, and the test of faith, it would be helpfull.