Author Topic: 3 am  (Read 3526 times)

Rebecca

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3 am
« on: August 11, 2007, 12:53:51 AM »
i cannot sleep even with aleeping pilll  all things  jumping around in my head.  life iso different.  i laff and my stomach knots.i see young people with a baby and i smile at the baby and my stomach knots.  i keep thinking that jason was our first successful birth after two unsuccessful ones.  i have always loved the summer and i lost this ne because of my accident. i get angry and jealoushen people talk about all their family gtherings and i have none, no family to gather except daughter and sil and they are in boston. i wish i could understand why the higher power chose to take jason at theprime of his life.  why did he take all of yr children before thry could blossom.  i am rambling. and ny hand hurts.  time to try and sleep,
good night
rebecca jason's mom

JONBOYS MOM

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2007, 04:22:25 AM »
Rebecca:

               You are not rambling you are trying to deal with pain of loosing your son,My friend Im the same journey as you, I havent talked to God in a long time because Im angry,I feel that the day my son son was taken my life ended also, Everyday and every hour I have to fight to keep going, You are not alone on this.Everyone here is here with you.Keep Jason in your heart,And try to keep the bad out of your head its easier said then done,Thats how I try to get through everyhour,Our boys will never be forgotton,My sons favorite saying was a day without laughter was a day wasted!! I send hugs to you!! And when you wake I hopeyou have a better day..

                                         Jonboys mom(Donna)

Dena

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2007, 06:36:19 AM »
Rebecca - You aren't rambling at all. I get jealous of other's "normal" lives, but remember too, that even the most "normal" of lives aren't always that great.  They have their own problems.

I wish I knew why our children aren't here, safe with us, where they belong. I don't know if we will ever understand it - but one day those answers will come.

I wish you felt better - it takes time to heal from injuries like that.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

Donnys Dad

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2007, 07:40:03 AM »
Rebecca I am so sorry you are going thru such a rough time.  I know everday is rough without our Sons but some days are even worse than others.  I too am having sleeping problems, it takes me forever to fall asleep as I keep seeing Donny as I found him.

I wish I knew how God makes his decisions also.  Why are does he take the young good kids when there is so much scum on this earth as you well know.  There goes those why's again......

Please know I think of you an Jason often
I Miss You So Much Buddy, My Best Friend, My Tiger

Don, Donny's Proud Dad


quint906

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2007, 08:56:39 AM »
Rebecca, Dina, Johnboys Mom and Don,

You all say exactly what I go through everyday.  This last month has been extremely hard on me.  It seems every thought I have, has Cory in it.  Lack of sleep, anger and of course the "Why?".  I haven't been on lately because I'm such a downer but I want you all to know, I think of you often.

Jo

sandy2

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2007, 12:43:49 PM »
YOU ALL PRETTY MUCH SAY IT ALL , ISNT IT AN AWFUL JOURNEY TO TRAVEL. AT LEAST WE ALL HAVE EACHOTHER. I WATCH THE REST OF THE WORLD GO ON , BUT I KNOW WERE ALL HERE TOGETHER , FOR EACHOTHER . ITS BEEN 8 WEEKS TODAY FOR ME , I FEEL LIKE I KEEP GOING BACKWARDS . WHY GO FORWARD , FOR GODS SAKE SHANE WAS MY LIFE !!!!!! AT THE PRIME OF HIS LIFE . JUST GROWED UP , MENTALLY & WAS THE MAN I WAITED TO SEE FOR 29 YEARS . WHY OH WHY OH WHY ????????? I SPENT MOST THE DAYS CRYING , ILL GO TO GET OUT & RUN INTO SOME NICE PERSON THAT WANTS TO VISIT , LIKE LIFE IS THE SAME . IM MAD RIGHT BACK HOME I COME & HIDE . THANK GOD FOR ALL MY FRIENDS ON HERE . GOD BLESS US ALL !! LOV & HUGS FROM OHIO. SHANE MOM

owensmom

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2007, 06:44:11 PM »
Hi Rebecca,

3 am is just as good a time to write as any, yes?  I know it's harder with your recent injury, but better than the torture of sleeplessness in grief.  For me, anyway.   

I had an injury 7 weeks after Owen passed away, and it made everything that much worse.  Nothing broken, just bruised and scraped from a fall.  It really did seem to make missing Owen even worse, as every time I moved, I hurt both physically and emotionally.  I know this is bringing your loss of Jason even more to the surface, and I'm so sorry for you and your family.

I hope you sleep tonight.

Love,
Linda
Owen's mom




CRCmom

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2007, 07:18:24 PM »
I wish I understood why a well.  i don't keep it a secret that I am angry with God about taking my son.  WHY???  I know that none of us truly understand an d problably won' till we get there.  It does seem so unfiar.  Life is so very different and I don't like it.  I wwwant Christian ak.

Rebecca, I understand and whish desparately that I could bring Jason back for you. 
LOVE AND GRACE ON THE JOURNEY,
PAULA


LaVonne

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Re: 3 am
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2007, 06:45:37 AM »
Rebecca

  I too hope to find the answers someday but i believe it will not happen until i pass on.I am so sorry for your pain and sleepless nights. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hold you close to my heart at this time. I also only have one child left but i will be down this road 9 yrs and i have realized that their are parents that have lost their only child and have no one to talk to. I at least have my Son that calls everyday and sometimes 3-6 times a day. It will never replace my other son but for those that have lost their only child have no one. I also realize that i need to give my support to the less fortunate and to somehow make their lives better. This is only my way of dealing and i do not expect anyone else to deal with it in the same way. We all need to do it our way and mine is giving to help others. God Bless and sending many hugs and lots of love.  LaVonne