Hello, Hummimgbird I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I do know what you are going through, I have already lost my father, a sister, and now my brother is dying of lung cancer. So you see, I do know and feel your pain. When my father passed it seemed liked somethng out of a nightmare and I didn't believe it was real, it took such a long time to be at peace with his passing. When my sister died, (we were only 2 years apart) we had sung together since we were kids into adulthood,we had a music group with another girl (who too has died) to this day I cry when I hear certain songs we used to sing, and she died in 93. But you know one thing, even though I miss both my father, and sister very much, I feel blessed to have known them for the time that I did have with them and I think about all the good memories of them. I am preparing for my brother's death, but I take comfort that he is at peace with it, and I will take his memories with me too. I hope and pray for you, that each day gets easier, which it will even though right now it doesn't seem at all possible, but believe me it will. Take everyday with your children like it will be your last so that you can enjoy them with everything you have. I will pray for you and your family to stay strong, your brother would want you to be.