after about five years, I noticed it was "easier" Easier, but never, ever easy. Just easier in the sense that grief did not consume our entire lives, and other, more joyful things, could compete for my attention. Grief feels as complicated as ever, just not as dominating. At three years I have very distinct memories of being far enough away from my grief to being forced to live my life, and trying so hard put everything behind me, and to make myself be happy, and never really succeeding.
Still, though my life is much better than it was those early days, I still feel like I straddle two worlds. The fact that I will eventually finish my time in this one and move on to the next is not longer the slightest bit alarming, sometimes I even look forward to it.
Wishing for you little bits of joy and peace, where ever you can find them....Sarah