Mind lapse

[Autumn Leaves]

I went to the bank yesterday, got out of my truck, locked the door, and wondered why the engine was still running. I realized i'd just locked myself out. First thing that came to my mind was calling my hubby and asking him to drive out with the spare key so he could unlock the door. Then I realized he'd been gone just about exactly eight months (eight months this morning) and I started crying.

I was so angry with myself because I'd NEVER locked myself out of his truck (he'd done it several times). AAA never came and the locksmith that eventually came cost me $150 (at least the ATM was right next to my truck). I didn't have anyone to call and i didn't want to call a cab and leave the truck running for the 40 minutes it would take me to go home, get my spare key, and get back to the bank. There was no one at home to call to come help me.

After I got my truck unlocked, I drove over to Home Depot and had a spare key made. It isn't coded so I can't use it to start the truck but at least I will never lock myself out of my truck again.

I don't know what I was thinking either because I've never got out of the truck with it still running.

[jazzgirl]

Mystry, I am so sorry you had such a bad day. How ridiculous to charge $150 to get your key out. Seems so expensive. That is such a horrible feeling too when you shut that door and realize right afterwards what happened. It's not funny now, but later it will be something to look back on and laugh, except for the $150 part. That was just high way robbery.

[Lonnie]

Ruth: Bless your heart. I did something similar the other day.  I had driven my mom's car on our errand day. She doesn't drive anymore, but the car still sits in the driveway, so we try to take it for a spin every once in awhile. Well that day we did some grocery shopping, and I had taken all her groceries in and lugged all mine to the trunk of my car to go home. I had her keys in my hand (thinking they were mine) and locked mine in the trunk where I had put them down fooling with the groceries! It was very late at night-close to midnight, and my trunk was full of groceries. I did have to call my husband to bring his key, so I know what you mean. To suddenly realize that you couldn't call your husband anymore had to be so frustrating, and most of all-sad.  It's just another one of those things that husbands always do. I am so sorry that there was no one to help you. You always feel so desperate and silly when those things happen anyway. But you are not alone-I did it too!    Sounds like you made a wise choice, but that is way too high for them to be charging-but I know they do it anyway. I am so sorry for all the things that you miss about your sweetie! Lonnie

[Autumn Leaves]

At least now I have a duplicate key. I'd been meaning to do that for a long time now. I always had a duplicate for my car. I carry it in my wallet and always have my wallet in my pants pocket and my keys clipped to my belt loop. I guess it's a clue not to procrastinate, that when an idea comes into my head I should act on it and not keep putting it off.

I also learned that when AAA says someone will be there in a little while that their definition of "little while" and "rush" don't mean anything close to what I think they should mean. I called AAA and they said the driver would be out within 65 minutes and they'd ask him to rush. Well, aftee 80 minutes, they called back and said the driver would be there in a few minutes, that he was still enroute. By that time the locksmith had come and gone.

It was either run out of gas, break the window, or pay the locksmith. I decided the window would probably cost more than $150 and sometimes the best learned lessons are the most costly. I sure didn't want to call a cab to rush home to get my spare key and leave my truck running - especially having had a stolen car left parked in the street across from my house for a month (I just reported that Wednesday and the owner came out and jump started it and drove it away).

oh well, I didn't need that $150 anyway!!!

[kay]

Mystry,
I can relate to your story of missing your husband.
The other day I was driving to work and noticed a lady on the side of the road having car trouble.  Someone had stopped to assist her and was looking under the hood of her car.  The lady was on her cell phone talking to someone.  I thought to myself--she is probably talking to her husband who will be on the way soon to help her.  I cried all the way to work knowing that is a call I have made before but cannot make anymore.  I miss him so much!  I guess I too need to get another key made as well as phone numbers of a few friends in case I need roadside help--I also have AAA and know by experience how long they can take. 

[jazzgirl]

Isn't it funny how the things that use to bother us before don't seem to matter anymore. I seem to just have this "whatever" attitude. A line I have found myself using all the time is "O well. It is what it is."  It's funny how you all had very similar stories about needing help with the car. I hope that isn't contagious (LOL).

[Lonnie]

Jazzgirl: So many of us have been through so much, that I guess we don't sweat the small stuff (as they say) anymore. Things that would have incapacitated me and made me cry for days before, barely phase me now. I guess it's all relative to what we have experienced and lived through already.    Hugs-Lonnie

[Autumn Leaves]

What I like is the feeling of power and accomplishment when I do something my hubby used to do and I either have to hire someone, find someone who will do it for me, or tackle it myself.

Right now I'm contiplating making a headboard for the twin bed in my guest bedroom and reading up on how to level my noisy ceiling fan.

There's just certain things I wish I didn't have to do and really don't want to know how to do but I'm kind of angry (or upset, haven't decided yet) that I'm forced to have to figure them out myself. I do think though when faced with those situations that I'm better off than so many other people in my situation who don't have a clue what to do, people who are struggling just to figure out the basics like paying bills or cooking or doing laundry. I think that I'm in much better shape than if the situation had been reversed and my hubby were the one left to figure things out if I'd died first - even if he'd been healthy he would have been lost and wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do. I'm grateful he didn't have to face that battle anyway.

[Crushed]

Amen to that statement!  Mine would have eaten out all of the time, probably lost his stuff cuz he couldn't find it in the same room with him, taken everything to the laundry and who knows what else. he said he couldn't get along without me and I always believed it!
I too am thankful that I don't have the worries that some have when dumped into this situation. mine wasn't handy anyway so I have a list of people who can do things for me. I have learned that i am more resourceful than i thought and am feeling powerful enough to try some things that I wouldn't have before. What's the worst that can happen... I have had to have things he tried to fix, fixed before. so now it's my turn.

I read about the key incident and felt so sorry for you. $150.00. Yikes,that seems excessive, but what can you do? My husband has bailed me out to many times to count through all of the years. I have put the local garage that still makes service calls in my speed dial! i have had to call them twice in almost 5 months. Thank goodness they are there.

[Autumn Leaves]

I think we sometimes amaze ourselves when we're forced to do things ourselves because we no longer have someone to lean on or to call for help. If we look at these things we're doing because no one else is doing them for us, we have to realize that we're GOOD! We can do anything if we put our minds to it. We shouldn't be angry or upset because our loved one isn't there to do it for us or to help us out, we should be satisfied that we've added one more thing to all the things we've attempted and conquered! Pretty soon, we'll be able to do anything we put our minds to doing.

[Crushed]

You are right. It makes me feel good to stand on my own 2 feet.  I have always been pretty independent   anyway and my biggest concern was handling the finances.   I read recently that many women think that men were given the finance gene.   Mine was an accountant and I am math challenged, so I am one that did believe that.  I am doing just fine, thank you very much, I have a planner and we have done it together. It may take me a little longer to get there , but the important thing is that I do get there and I know where I want to go.  If we set our minds to it, we can do anything and there are many resources out there to help.  I have a mind and I am learning to trust myself. i still second guess alot, but I always have. My honey told me to make a decision and go on... it's the best you can do at the time.  You can always adjust later. I am finding that is true.  I don't have him to talk it over with anymore.

[Autumn Leaves]

I found when taking exams at college when I changed my answer it was usually right the first time and I ended up selecting a wrong answer. That didn't always stop me from changing my answers but at least I knew I was goofing up. I still have a tendency to want to change my mind but, for the most part, am sticking to my original decision. I've regretted a few things (giving away things that I later had a need for) but I've stuck to my decision. I have to learn to trust myself and believe I know what I'm doing.

I think if we give ourselves a chance, we can do anything we want to do. It may take a little while, or it may take longer than someone else did, but we can do it. Sometimes it doesn't look all that great or isn't all that good but it's done and that's all that really matters. We have to have confidence in ourselves because we can do anything we put our mind to doing.