Dear Paula,
"I have never known an instance in communication (written or verbal) when emotions taking over serve well. It has been my experience to think, reflect, review and then take careful choice with your communication style."
Life just moves TOO fast to be able to think EVERY time before words come out. Sometimes I am able to, other times I am not. I'm by far a perfect person, however those that truly KNOW me and love me, know I am not a hurtful person, and therefore accept me and my flaws.
I believe anger is a just feeling in some cases, without anger you have complacentcy.
You focused on my negativity and anger and how it does no good, yet only ONE person actually responded to
the root of my pain in that situation... which was seeing a homeless boy that resembled my son. I understand how my anger and negativity caused your reaction and it is deserving criticism, however you chose to focus on the negativity in my post as well, yet you advise me on my negativity.
It's interesting that 100 people have read my angry post, yet only 3 people responded. In my eyes, this suggests that this board is not a place where we can be open and honest about our feelings unless they are politicaly correct, well written and thought over, and considered acceptable topic according to the majority. I wonder just how many people read and never post due to fear of being judged harshly, misunderstood, or black listed. I also wonder how many people read my post and understood my intense pain over seeing a homeless boy that reminded me of my son, yet didn't respond because they knew I was putting myself on the hot seat and didn't want to sit beside me and loose their support system here?"My grief and pain are mine. I have earned them. They are part of me. Only in feeling them do I open myself to the lessons they can teach." ~Anne Wilson Schaef
Anger is a large part of my grief, it's an emotion I can not deny. When it is triggered by things I feel are unfair about this world, it is stronger. I accept the judgements on my very poor choice of words, however anger does have it's place here for many of us, and we have a right to feel it as well as express it.
We are all an intricate caserole of raw emotions, with triggers individual to each of us. When I read something here on the board that triggers me, I remind myself that it wasn't intended to hurt ME personally, No one here sets out to hurt another. It's human nature to use analogies and strong words in expressing one's anger and pain. For this board to be a TRUE HAVEN for ALL of us, I think we all need to use some perspective at times when reading certain posts.
Love & Peace,
Cherri
Other things I needed to respond to, however my original post was not about drug addiction, the homeless, my views of it, or our lousy govornment, even though through tears and anger my fingers led me in that direction, which understandibly replies went in that direction.
"There is no room to hate the things that the addicted ones do-it's like hating them. And that is unfair to hate them. It is b/c of their illness that they have addictive behaviors."
I see it differently. The things addicts do to feed their addictions are things they would normally never do, and are hurtful, and often hateful. To hate someone's ACTIONS is not to hate the person. I hate what my son did to end up being murdered, that doesn't mean I hate him.
"i hate that a heroin addict can get state medial assistance, yet i can not. it just makes me realllly mad." ~me
"Cherri: Now that is not totally true. My son was unable to get state medical assistance. It is different from state to state, from reason to reason. To make generalizations such as that is unfair." ~Paula
Here in Maryland, it IS true, not a generalization.
"Our gov't sanctioned it, it was part of their economic planning."
This doesn't surprise me at all. I'm angry enough so I'll leave the history of heroin out of my to read list.
"We can agree to disagree but I think that being angry at them is the wrong tactic. I feel for them and their plight and for their children. Anger is a destructive force in this situation."
Agree to disagree---
The drugs are the destructive force not my anger. My anger doesn't give them the right to do what they are doing, without anger do you think they would stop? Nope!
"Anger is an extremely tiring emotion and like addiction it builds and becomes it's own addiction."
Dear Paula, for being a mother who's son was murdered, I have every right to my anger. I know very well how destructive anger can be toward the person harboring it, I live with it, however I DO choose happiness and joy in my life in many ways on a regular basis.
"We need to celebrate the lives of our lost children and heal."
I do that every day. The night I wrote that post is not how I live every day of my life, it was a moment in time, a blip on the big screen, something that triggered deep emotions in me.
Love & Peace,
Cherri