Author Topic: I don't believe in heaven anymore  (Read 6094 times)

lisa

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I don't believe in heaven anymore
« on: April 18, 2007, 08:06:43 AM »
there is so much pain and so much hurt.  I don't understand why a kind and loving god (the one I was told about for years in church, sunday school, bible studies, christian summer camp and so on) would let this happen.  why would god let my brother get so down that killing himself would to him be the only and best way out?  why would god let my father suffer for 20 years, slowly dying, slowly breaking down until nothing worked anymore and the pain was unbearable?  why has god let these deep and terrible tragedies hurt me?  and or any of you?  people keep saying that they will at least find their loved ones again someday when they meet in heaven.  I am finding it so difficult to believe that heaven even exists anymore.  is heaven merely something we all as human kind created simply because we fear death and cannot come to terms with this concept?
please do not take offense - I am not cutting anyone elses beliefs.  these are my own - and I do not wish to offend.  just to say what is now plaguing me...

middle sis

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Re: I don't believe in heaven anymore
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2007, 04:19:17 PM »
Lisa,
I hear and feel your pain. But by believing in heaven and god, gives me hope and faith that I will see my brother and sister again.  There are days that those beliefs are the only thing that get me through. I too have the same unanswered questions you ask. How, why would god allow this to happen. After 7 years, I realized these are questions that will never make sense at all, there is no answer for now. There was a time when I questioned god and alike. And I finally realized.....what would I loose.....If I allowed myself to believe? I realized.....nothing!!!!! Either I will see them when I pass and go on to heaven, or if there isn't a heaven we will all be the same thing, dust in the wind, with no knowledge of anything. Does that make any sense to you? Its easier to explain in person, instead of typing. I just feel there is no harm in believing.....just in case.  ;) Not trying to persuade you to feel any different, just thought I would share my point of view.
Just know that I am thinking of you tonight as you have these feelings flood over you. I hope it helps to know someone cares. I hope you wake tomorrow with a little less weight on your shoulders.
Take Care
Middle sis
« Last Edit: April 18, 2007, 05:05:40 PM by middle sis »

4EVRdarrensSIS

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Re: I don't believe in heaven anymore
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2007, 05:34:09 PM »
OH, LISA, I HAVE BEEN STANDING IN THOSE SAME SHOES FOR THE PAST FOUR AND A HALF YEARS.....it's only just now that I have a different take.  I was so angry at God.  As a christian you are taught all of these things.....ask and you shall receive and God wants to give you the desires of your heart...so on and so forth.  Everything that I came to know as truth over the years I doubted.  I turned my back to God...as did my father when my brother died of cancer.  My mom stayed close to him finding solace in that relationship.  i was just so pissed off.  all of the suffering that my brother went through....then after he passed i had to watch my parents suffer from the grief of it all.    we were a big church going family...always there....my dad a sunday school teach, a deacon, had a prison ministry.  i never dreamed in a million years anything would happen like that to us!  it has almost been five years now and i'm just starting to see that God is God.....he can do whatever he wants....and all that I learned about before is still true.  However, what we aren't taught in church is that even though you ask for one thing....he's still going to do what he ultimately has planned to do.  we are taught the kind and loving and gracious side of God....not the side that allows things to happen for reasons beyond our measure.  i say all this to say...it's ok to be mad at him....for however long you need to be.....i know b/c i have been there.  hang in there.  we don't know why he lets our loved ones suffer and prolong their living in pain for whatever reason.  i'm thinking of you.....and if you ever need to talk i'm here..........

P.S.  i'm not really good at putting into words what i really mean to say....so i hope that this all made sense to you??!?!?   ((((((LISA)))))))
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wintersnow

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Re: I don't believe in heaven anymore
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2007, 10:59:54 PM »
Oh honey...   different God.    The God of the Bible is not who you describe.  That's a God we make up to make ourselves happy when we were a children.  This life is all about death.  It's all about where we are going and how we get there.  I don't know what happened with your brother.  He was certainly mentally ill and positively not responsible for his actions.  Some people just can't handle this life.  And no wonder!  Look at how awful it can become.  And how quickly it can get that way.

But we live in a marvelous era...  it wasn't 100 years ago that most women died in childbirth.  And there was no women alive who hadn't lost at least one child to illness.  Many lost all they had. 

Believe in heaven.  It's as real as you and I and certainly more fun to be there than here. 


jazzgirl

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Re: I don't believe in heaven anymore
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2007, 02:06:01 PM »
My heart goes out to you. I too had those same feelings when my brother hung himself. He left 2 children fatherless and a lot of questions. We don't always understand why God does what he does. We just must keep the shield of faith even when it hurts. I too have gotten angry with him because I thought why couldn't I get to grow old with him. We were only 1 1/2 years apart and he was in the process of buying a house in my area. I was sooo excited we were going to be close again. He was only 32. I turn 32 this year. I am not looking forward to it at all because he was always by big brother.  I do still believe in heaven because I feel a sense of peace when I think of him. I do feel God took him home because life was too unbearable for him here.  Every time I start to wish he was here, I just think how miserable his life was here and how he is at peace now and is awaiting my arrival home. Just think every day that goes by is 1 day closer.