Author Topic: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!  (Read 9053 times)

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 665
  • AUNT MARTHA LOVES YOU CANDI
    • View Profile
Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2007, 06:27:17 PM »

 this isn't said to my face. it's behind my back but we live in a small town & it get's back to me.


  " it's just her niece. she should be over it by now."

i dare these people to say that to my face.  i don't care if i'm the aunt. candi is still part of me & was my baby too . & no-one can tell me how to feel.
i miss candi soooo much. one mo. from today candi will be gone 2yrs.....

no matter what my heart will be broken until the day i die.



martha

Lonnie

  • Guest
Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2007, 10:26:05 PM »
Martha: I have a niece that I am very close to also.  I know that "just a niece" doesn't even apply to the love and attachment I have with her. I so wanted to adopt her when she was younger, and her mom and dad (my brother) were having bad problems. Her life was very stressful and I so wish I could have gotten her, but it was not possible. So I had to grieve over the pain that she and her little brother suffered growing up as they did. So I know how close an aunt can be to a nephew or niece. You are such a wonderful aunt! I wish I had an aunt or uncle that cared about me the way you care about Candi. I know you are glad that Karen is here on the Child Loss Board as an aunt also. She certainly loved Chris so very much, and she can understand your feelings completely. You are both wonderful aunts and people. Hugs-Lonnie

Brenda Taylors Mom

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1378
  • I miss you so much my "big tough guy"
    • View Profile
    • http://www.taylor-lewis.memory-of.com
Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2007, 12:05:02 PM »
Another one dont like
Maybe if you got out more often
Maybe if you got a job
Maybe if you were around people more
maybe maybe maybe
THEY HAVE NO IDEA GRIEF FOLLOWS YOU EVERYWHERE

LuAnn

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 16
  • Mel and Drake
    • View Profile
    • Mel and Drake live in my heart
Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2007, 03:28:49 PM »
from my boss.... you can work and take your mind off it.  as if the death of my son, my grandson and my nephew is ever off of my mind.

How are you.............. believe me, you can't handle the truth (Jack Nicholson said it best)

Call me if you need anything........I need our boys back. OK, since you can't give me that could you please figure out how I am going to pretend that I can function at life when all I seem capable of doing is pulling the covers over my head and crying.

shelly Tristans mom

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 89
    • View Profile
Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2007, 08:30:10 AM »
Brenda,

As I was reading your post I was thinking that what you wrote is EXACTLY what I would like to say to people who have said these things to me. 

People that haven't suffered the loss of a child can't possibly imagine how the pain sticks us. It is super glued to every single aspect of our lives FOREVER.  There is no escape from it.
 
Changing scenery doesn't change anything but the scenery.

((((((((Hugs and Prayers)))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
Shelly, Tristan's Mom

laurasmom

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 48
    • View Profile
Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2007, 08:21:15 PM »
I have heard many of the things that you  have and hated them all, but the one I hated most was when someone would say, " Well, if someone killed my child, they would be dead now, because I would kill them."  Whenever someone said this to me, I would respond with " you know, your saying that to me is very offensive, because you apparently think that since I have not killed this man, you love your child more than I love mine, and I can tell you that is not true!  Do you think I have not thought of killing this man? Do you think I haven't entertained thoughts of waiting in the apartment complex parking lot and running him down with my car when he comes out?  I would never do it though, and neither would you, because what purpose would it serve?  What would it do to your family?   How would you being in jail help your child?  It isn't going to bring them back, because believe me, if it would bring her back, he would CERTAINLY be dead."  That usually quiets them.  The other remark I hate is "Well, at least you have 3 other children, just think how awful it would be if she had been your only child."  HELLO? Where do these people come from.  So let's figure this out...since she was 1 of 4, my pain is only 1/4 of what it would be if she were the only one?  THINK AGAIN!!!  WHICH OF YOUR CHILDREN WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LOSE IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE?  OR HOW ABOUT SINCE YOU HAVE 2 CHILDREN AND YOUR FRIEND HAS ONLY 1, YOU CHOOSE WHICH OF YOUR 2 YOU WOULD GIVE UP TO DEATH SO YOUR FRIEND OR RELATIVE OR WHOEVER DOES NOT HAVE TO LOSE THEIR ONLY CHILD??!!??  Some people are real idiots!
Lois, Laura's Mom