First off, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my sister, my only sibling, on April 14th, 2006 to a massive heart attack. It was at 3:30am and by God's grand design my family and myself were staying there while my mother-in-law was having major surgery not far from her house. She was 37 years old. So I was awoke by my brother-in-law telling me he needed my help and shortly after we lost her while doing CPR. Her two children and my two children watched. Though the post traumatic stress has been unbearable at times Grief has been overwhelming as well. My best advice to anyone is to take the time to research what happens to your body physically and emotionally during the process. I started having panic attacks I think due to seeing her die, but also grief is such a process.....I didn't realize what was normal. I started feeling like something was wrong with me physically when it was actually just part of the process. Sudden death I think contributes to the shock factor as well. The best way I have been able to describe to those who don't know is it is like being HOMESICK. But it's your life making you feel that way. Nothing seems right. Just remember that some of your friends will be at a loss to how to make you feel better. Some won't call because they don't know what to say. It hurts, but it isn't intentional. Though you HAVE to go through grief don't let it define you or consume you. Grief is all your emotions times 100. When I was sad I was really sad....but when I was mad.....I was enraged. I hope I have gave you a little insight....I will pray for all of you for all my real strength came from God alone. Turn to him even if you are angry with him. He will understand. Death is about the only thing it's okay to hate.