hi, gwen. i am so sorry to hear about your sister. i lost my brother to cancer. on may 23rd it will be five years.....many days it feels like just yesterday. he was only 29 and had his whole life ahead of him. i miss him so much every day. and like middle sis i don't cry every day but there are days....especially around this time of year....when he was in his final days. your loss is so fresh, it's ok to cry every day. it's good to let your emotions out. in fact i don't think i stopped crying for several months. i use to write a letter to him every night before i went to bed. told him about my day and how much i miss him. it helped me a lot. i know in my heart that your parents were there with big smiles on their faces and arms open wide! i know there were people their when darren took his last breath. he was my only sibling and in a lot of ways i feel like an only child. when my parents get older...i'm left to take care of them alone....it scares me. my brother was the one person that could make me smile when i was really upset....he was, and still is, my hero. he taught me so much about strength, courage, honor, meekness, humbleness, love. all i know is even though they aren't here in person....they are forever in our hearts.
p.s. a read a book that helped me SO MUCH....the name of it is 90 Minutes in Heaven: A Death and Life Story by: Don Piper, Cecil Murphy....when you are ready you should pick it up. tells about a minister who died in a car accident and was revived 90 minutes later......tells about what he experienced in those 90 minutes....i cried through the whole thing.....but it helped me. it really helped me. hang in there and just take one second at a time.