Author Topic: Inspiration-You Are My Sunshine  (Read 1899 times)

John-Danielle Marie's Daddy

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Inspiration-You Are My Sunshine
« on: March 19, 2007, 01:20:27 PM »
Inspiration-You Are My Sunshine
by Carol Clum

As a child, I learned to sing on road trips in the family car. We sang "She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain", "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and my favorite:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make my happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please, don't take my sunshine away.

Since my son's death, whenever I hear this song, I mentally change the spelling to 'son-shine.' When he left, skies surely turned gray. Gray skies continue to visit me in random moments of grief to the point that at times, it's impossible to see the sun. And when summer brings sunny days, it breaks my heart that he
can't be here with me to light up my life.

Grief enhances our senses so that the absence of light allows us to perceive our need for light. A good example came one dark and dismal day as I sat reading, a part of me dwelling on my missing child.

Ever so softly, warmth crept across my outstretched leg. I shot a glance in its direction and discovered a stream of golden sunshine. In my preoccupation, I hadn't noticed the parting clouds outside--the transformation from gloom to gleam.

If I had not been sitting quietly, thinking of my child, I would have missed the gift-missed an opportunity to find joy in that brief moment when 'son-shine' paid an unexpected visit. What a blessed gift it is to remember my child with joy.

There's a scientific reason that a sunny day brings some joy and energy to our lives. Bright light makes a difference to the brain chemistry. Lack of light causes a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder. SAD doesn't occur only in the dark winter months.

If you work the night shift or you spend all day in an office, wear sunglasses outside, spend your days off in a dimly lit home you may not be getting adequate light. All the more reason to grasp at every golden
moment that comes our way.

The true lifesavers in my grief journey are those small surprising occurrences that often go unnoticed. When memories arrive on beams of joyous sunlight, I'm learning to take notice, to savor, then stock pile the simple pleasures that somehow appear in spite of heavy days.

Sometimes light comes from deep within our hearts. Sometimes friends arrive with small rays of hope, guiding us through the darkest hours. Summer brings moonlit evenings, the flash of lightening across an endless sky, fireflies in a Mason jar, the beam of a flashlight piercing the darkness, yellow butterflies at the break of day; all reminders that our children were bright and full of life.

We are on a dark journey. At the same time, we are on a righteous search for light, grasping at hope wherever we find it. When gray days return and winter seems endless, remember--it' s not. As grief changes, we learn to survive the darkness, believing that light lies ahead. May sunshine bless you with small, precious moments of hope and joy in the coming summer days.

The Southern Oregon Chapter of The Compassionate Friends
Carol Clum, TCF, Medford, OR
Wishing You All Continuous Comfort & Peace,
John-Danielle Marie’s Daddy
1/4/95-2/20/06 (head trauma-motor vehicle accident)
“Her friendship was an inspiration, her love a blessing”

Karen Paul

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Re: Inspiration-You Are My Sunshine
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2007, 06:36:19 AM »
That is beautiful John.. thank you for sharing it.. the beginning of it made me smile because my parents always had us singing in the car on trips.. those same songs..

and I remember singing with Christopher in the car a few times too.. different songs.. but nevertheless.. he was our sunshine..


luv and hugs, Karen