Hi LuAnn's Sister and LuAnn,
Again, I am deeply sorry for your losses. I've often told my sister that of all the things we shared in common I'm so sorry that our children dying is one of them. It's beyond horrible. It has been 44 months since Adam was killed, my nephew died 7 months before that. As time has gone on the rest of the world/family "moved on" but my sister and I, of course, continued to mourn deeply. I think of it as the two of us being in some kind of exile, clinging to each other with only the two of us understanding the pain and emptiness. We talk about how much we miss and love our sons, how we want them back, about our grief, about how hard this all is and how unfair it is. At times we have both isolated even from each other and we understood. We don't bring each other down by talking about our sons or our grief, but instead validate each other's feelings. There are unique aspects to each of our circumstances due to the cause of death (such as I had to deal with the criminal justice system and she did not), ages of the boys (her son had children while my son at just 19 did not), etc... so there are some aspects that we can be supportive of but do not totally understand as we did not experience it. When it seems the rest of the world has forgotten, or is afraid to talk about our sons, we can still talk about them.
This is a good place to talk, vent, cry and share. I have found much support and comfort here.
Love and hugs,
Katie