Author Topic: Going Back To Work  (Read 2698 times)


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Going Back To Work
« on: March 04, 2007, 07:41:40 PM »
How much time did you take off from work and what happened when you went back? I have a very high stress sales job that is complex and requires quite a bit of travel. My boss is not at all supportive he just wants me to perform and "get back to normal."



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Re: Going Back To Work
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2007, 08:14:50 PM »
Dear LuAnn,

I stopped working outside of the house about a year before Alek passed.  I had remarried 2 years before and my husband wanted me to have the chance to be a stay at home mom for Alek.  He was 16 years old.  I was able to make all of his swim meets and tennis matches - I will always cherrish that year.  It will be a year and one half this month since I kissed Alek goodnight the last time.  I just opened an art studio - very limited hours.  It is still way too much for me and we have decided to limit my responsibilities even more.  For now, I am painting on my own schedule and giving classes when I feel strong enough.

You can only do what you can do.  Take your time and be gentle with yourself.
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)


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Re: Going Back To Work
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2007, 11:22:45 AM »
Take the time to take care of yourself. I was able to take almost 4 months off and I thought at the beginning that it would be too much time....I  needed to be home. Everyone is different....some people need to be busy at work, some don't.  I have a job where I have to settle low income people's financial problems...It's pretty draining but I enjoy helping people. At first when I went back to work ... I was scared but I found a different level of understanding but at the same time I  had to watch myself because I became more judgemental and short of patience when the customers told me I didn't know what it was like to have hard times!!!  Go back to work when "YOU" feel you can. No one can tell you how long is "normal".


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Re: Going Back To Work
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2007, 04:31:16 PM »

I was off of work for 8 months and still had a difficult time going back at first.  I was at my desk at work when I recieved the phone call from the police, so every time my phone rang my stomach would just go into knots.

I had tried to go back to work about 2 months or so after Micheal died, but I wasn't able to cope. I didn't realize at the time, but I was in severe depression.  I wasn't sleeping, I was dropping weight by the day, I still cried almost all day and I would almost throw up if the phone on my desk rang.  So they sent me back home on extended leave and told me they wanted me back, but they wanted me to take time to begin to heal first.  I was so, so fortunate.

I have been back since last September and I still have some really rough days, but most days I do ok.  And I am lucky to work with some very understanding people who understand that I will never be "back to normal" and just accept the new me.

I really hope that your boss wakes up and gives you the support you need.  Make sure that if you can, (financially and with job-security) you take all the time that you need before you take on the world again.  You deserve it.

Love and hugs,
Johanna, Micheal's mom

Who, then, can so softly bind up the wound of another as he,
who has felt the same wound himself?
Thomas Jefferson


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Re: Going Back To Work
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2007, 03:13:13 PM »
I took off 7 weeks.  I needed to get back to work.  My husband left 4 weeks after Christian died so I needed the income and the work to take my mind away from the pain.   It was and is so very very hard some days, but I like many am in a work environment that understands as much as possible.  I am also in the human service field so I help other people all day and that can be very healing.  I have had some days that I have to go home, but not for sometime.  I took off last year on Christian's angel date and went to Las Vegas and this year was off on his angel date (2/27) for about 10 days and just got back from Rome yesterday.  Being away for me helps, but is sure is rough coming home and not having him here.

This new reality is so damn difficult.

Love to you