Author Topic: Really Down Lately  (Read 5780 times)

Dottie (Tammie's Mom)

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Really Down Lately
« on: March 04, 2007, 12:28:06 PM »
Hi, All,

I haven't been writing much but I do read. I have been extremely down lately. It will be 18 months on the 14th that Tammie has been gone. It just still seems so unreal yet I miss her more everyday. My life is TRULY empty without her, laughing, teasing, crying, calling, I miss it all everyday :::

How do we truly live our lives without them????

Not sure I am going forward with the Salon I don't think I'm ready yet. Also Project Tammie is moving forward and I sure don't want to drop the ball on that, it's far too important. Just really in the DUMPS lately:::

Thinking of you all and all our great kids,
Dottie Tammie's Mom

Dena

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2007, 03:17:31 PM »
Dottie - It is hard to believe that it will be 14 months for you to miss Tammie. It will feel unreal for some time. 

 I know exactly what you mean.  I have been reading here everyday - but sometimes, it is just too hard to find the words that want.  I just finished having my final oral surgery this past Wednesday so it has been somewhat depressing and exhausting.

I think we "adapt" to our new life - we are never really comfortable with it. 

Sending you hugs & understanding,

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

quint906

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2007, 05:12:43 PM »
Hi Dottie.

Like you've told me.  We are so close in the times of our losses.

I feel just like you.  In my posts of the last couple of days, my mood was in line with yours.  I don't know how we go forward yet.  We just do.  Somehow these "new lives" of ours just don't fit.  You and Tammie sound so much like Cory and me.  That communication and closeness is something that I miss every day.  It still seems like a nightmare to me.

You and all the others on this board keep me going.  It's a great comfort to me knowing that I can "let out" with all of you.

As always, you know you are in my thoughts.

Jo - Cory's Mom

Marianne

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2007, 08:35:46 PM »
Oh, Dear Dottie,

I know what you mean.  We have decided that I am not ready for all the responsibilities that came with my new studio.  We have slimed down on specific dates for classes, and have decided to take everything a little slower.

It takes all of our energy to grieve our children - get ourselves out of bed and move through our lives as best we can.

Continue on with your work on Project Tammie - I believe Tammie is holding your hand through all of your hard work there.

Take your time - whatever you decide, know that you have friends pulling for you.

Hugs, Love and Support!
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)

MelissaCharliesMom

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2007, 10:43:42 PM »
Hello friend, I am having a bad day today so not sure I can offer much help. Just know I understand and care and am holding you close in thought!Sending strength and peace.

Karen Paul

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2007, 06:39:40 AM »
Oh Dottie - As Marianne said.. it takes so much energy to grieve this loss and sometimes there just is not a lot left over to pursue other things. I understand your need to focus on Project Tammie right now... and hope that some day you will be able to also do the salon... be patient with yourself.. know that I care and think of you and Tammie every day, even when I do not get to post.

luv and hugs, Karen


Donnys Dad

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2007, 08:10:04 AM »
Dottie it is hard for even me to believe that Tammie will be gone 18 months on the 14th.  I know how much you miss her calls, her visits, your time together, her laughter, and your talks.  It is so empty without them.  I know because Donny and I were the same.  It was 994 days, 142 weeks yesterday that I lost him and my will to live. 

Was starting to think I was doing a little better but then had a major breakdown at the cemetary yesterday which lasted all morning.  So glad no one else was there.

If you don't feel ready then I don't think you should proceed with the Salon.  I know how much work it takes as I told you my daughter has one and is usually exhausted.  What ever you decide make sure it iw right for you.

I am so glad that you did start Project Tammie though.  What a fabulous tribute to Tammie.  I wish I could think of something to do in Donny's honor.
As usual please know I am thinking of you.
I Miss You So Much Buddy, My Best Friend, My Tiger

Don, Donny's Proud Dad


Johanna

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2007, 04:58:52 PM »
Dottie and Don,

I wish I could reach out and give you both a big hug.  We are all good people here!!  I still don't understand why this happened to us!

I am so sorry that you are both struggling so hard lately.  I haven't been doing so well myself so I haven't been posting the past few days (or so...). 

I asked early on in this journey, that if God/The Universe/Spirit would spare my daughters some of this pain, I would gladly carry the extra burden of grief... and some days I definately get what I asked for.  They are doing very well most of the time... me, not so much.  I would not take it back, but some days the burden is more than I think I can bear.

Wishing you both comfort, peace and some small reprieve from your pain...
Love and hugs,
Johanna, Micheal's mom


Who, then, can so softly bind up the wound of another as he,
who has felt the same wound himself?
Thomas Jefferson

Dottie (Tammie's Mom)

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2007, 06:32:35 AM »
Thank you all so much. I really don't know what I would do without you.

I canceled my offer on the Salon there is no way I am ready for that right now. I will continue my work on Project Tammie it is so important to me and many others who may live because of it.

Each one of you holds a special place in my heart, I just wish we had not had to meet like this. I so wish ALL our kids were still here with us. They are so missed.

While going through pictures for my Mom's Birthday Video I found a Mother's Day card Tammie gave me several years ago, it said, to MY MOM, MY FRIEND, BUT MOST OF ALL MY PHONE BUDDY. She wrote Oh, Mom isn't that the truth.

I miss those calls so very very much.

Thanks again to each of you for being here to listen.

Dottie Tammie's Mom


SueH

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2007, 11:10:39 AM »
I don't think there is really anything that can be said to make you feel better.
I think that it will always remain 'unreal'  for me.

Sorry....

Sue *Sara's* Mom
"yep yep yep"

tanyasmom

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2007, 11:58:08 AM »
I wish I could give you some words of wisdom ...something that would ease your pain.  All I can say is that I'm thankful for you and everyone else on this site.  You've really helped me. Not feeling so alone these days.  As you've all said family and f riends will never understand the way that you do.  Take your time and take care of yourself before taking on too many big plans.  I really understand that one.  Have had to trim down on all my planning. Been taking on too much too. We all want to keep busy, But grieving takes so-o-o much energy.

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2007, 07:06:20 PM »
Dottie,

So sorry you are feeling so down.  It is just so hard missing our precious kids.  Only you know if the salon is the right thing for you.  Project Tammie I am sure is your top priority, so if the salon needs to wait then that is ok.

Don't push yourself too much, you are still very early in this life journey and stress can take its toll.  Do what is best for Dottie.  Owning your own business is a 24/7, no holiday business, I know we've had our own business also and frankly I wouldn't do it again.

Love and hugs,
Jeanne

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2007, 07:47:17 PM »
DOTTIE,
 I'M SORRY YOU'RE FEELING SO BAD LATELY. CANDI WILL BE GONE 22 MO. ON MARCH 13TH. & IT DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE THAT IN 2 MO. IT WILL BE TWO YEARS.
NO-ONE DESERVES WHAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH.  IT IS THE MOST CRUEL PAIN IN THE WORLD & PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND UNLESS THEY'VE LOST A CHILD.

I'M SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE EVERYONE HERE. IF I WAS CLOSE TO YOU I'D GIVE YOU A GREST BIG HUG & CRY WITH YOU.

LOVE,
MARTHA
 

Kathy

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Re: Really Down Lately
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2007, 08:22:31 PM »
Dear Dottie,

I sending you a hug through cyperspace. This pain is just so overwhelming and yet we go on one moment at a time. Maybe not living our lives, but we go on. . . Please know I am thinking of you and Tammie tonight.

Love,
Kathy (Don's Mom)