Can't stand it!!!

[tanyasmom]

Can't stand anything these days....Tanya's angel date on Friday....From the sound of people talking about what seems useless things...to complaining about how tired they are of their kids doing this or that...Or how a mess my house is...or how too tight my clothes have become ...or how I've aged in two years...46 this year and feel like I'm ready for retirement!!! Just plain can't stand ANYTHING!

[Karen Paul]

Every day issues that other people talk about do become extremely annoying sometimes don't they? It all just doesn't matter! It all seems so stupid and petty. I wrote this poem 2 yrs ago (so hard to believe) and want to share it with you today.

Sitting here at work today
Just an hour left to go
Searching for something, don’t know what
It’s elusive as ever though

My heart is sad and aching
Yet I sit here, dry-eyed
As if my body has used up
All the tears I have to cry

The holidays have come and gone
Without you once again
A new year has begun it seems
I still don’t comprehend

I struggle to find focus
To be productive and get work done
But my mind lingers over memories
Of you and I can’t move on

I just want to stay here
In this place of memories
Where you are alive and happy
And everything is as it should be

Some may call it denial
But I call it sanity
For remembering you keeps me alive
And helps me to be free

Free from all these earthly cares
And all the anger and the doubt
None of it matters any more
You’re what its all about

The things I miss the most
Are not things at all, you see
Your laugh, your smile, your bright blue eyes
And watching you grow with glee

I miss watching you
As you figure out your world
The place that it holds for you
The future yours to unfurl

I try to carry on
With love and hope in my heart
I try to live without you here
And make you proud while we’re apart

Some day I will see you again
And what a joyous day that will be
Until then I’ll carry you in my heart
Till I too am set free

With love, aunt karen
January 3, 2005

[tanyasmom]

Thank you...tears running down my face.  Sitting here at work not wanting to do anything.  Thank you for caring!

[Jeanneb]

I think the days leading up to angel dates can be worse than the date itself.  It is very hard to hear people complaining about their children, what we wouldn't give to have that person to complain about.  The other day in the store I actually said something to a mom who was being such a b....h to her little boy.  I told her I know that somedays our children can just wear us out but from a mom who no longer has her son, dig deep for your patience and then I just walked away.  Didn't want to give her time to say anything for fear of slapping her silly if she did.

Our priorities change with the loss of our child and I sit back today and realize that that is not a bad thing.  People told me that I spoiled my kids and perhaps I did but I wouldn't change a moment.  For the memories are all we have.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as we approach Tanya's angel date.  Remember she is always with you and hope that you feel her love surrounding you.

Hugs,
Jeanne

[tanyasmom]

thank you. you made me laugh when you said you would have slapped her silly! I feel that way too  when I see a mom go off like a crazy person in a store.  Makes me remember how everything was so serious back when the kids were little and now it all seems so trivial.

[John-Danielle Marie's Daddy]

My heart bearks along with yours. I feel your pain, anguish and share your tears.
I wish that I had answers for all of who have been chosen to travel on this unwanted journey.
Please remember, we ALL walk hand-in-hand along this rocky road.

Take Care and my thoughts and prayers are with your beautiful daughter, Tanya as you remember her on her angel date on Friday. I will light an extra candle for Tayna and Danielle.

God Bless,
John

[Dottie (Tammie's Mom)]

Please know I care and understand.

Dottie Tammie's Mom

[Lori, Alex's Mom]

I'm sitting here at work too, unable to do a job that I used to love.  Wondering if my energy will ever come back for it.

I'm going away for the weekend.  Need to get out of town.  Not even sure if I'll be able to enjoy myself - but going anyway.  Saying prayers of thanks for my best friend who is willing to put up with my "nothingness."

My prayers and love to you all...

Lori, Alex's mom

[MelissaCharliesMom]

Know I understand and will be thinking of you as your precious daughters angel date approaches. I too have no tolerance for petty, insignificant things that others deem so important!!

[JenKellisMom]

I have you and Tanya in my prayers today, Tanya's 2nd angel date.  I hope Tanya gives you the signs you need to help get you through this impossibly difficult day.

Blessings.