Author Topic: Have never been here before cant do this alone  (Read 8857 times)

moose

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Have never been here before cant do this alone
« on: February 14, 2007, 12:09:12 PM »
 :(  Hi whoever is there We lost our daughter and grandson this last year ,and I thought I was ok  But I am falling apart inside  So many unresolved issues  Please I need to talk to someone  My husband is loving and caring to me but wont talk about it

Dottie (Tammie's Mom)

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2007, 02:22:07 PM »
I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter and grandson. You have come to the right place. There are many kind understanding parents here.

Tell us more about your daughter and grandson when you feel you can, we love to talk about our kids and listen.

Thinking of you,
Dottie Tammie's Mom

moose

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2007, 02:32:19 PM »
 My daughter was a beautiful young woman  34 yrs old  She has 3 children 17,15 and 10  She died in a car wreck Over the easter weekend  She was born the day before easter our easter baby  Our youngest chld . We have 5 sons..ou r grandson also died in a car wreck Our oldest son's ,son  age 17 a few  weeks later and then my husbands last brother dieda few weeks after that  I still feel numb  I should be better by now.. I feel so angry about my daughter's death and so empty  Please help me...

Dena

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2007, 03:08:14 PM »
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter & grandson.  You have come to the right place to talk - everyone here understands.

I lost my son Josh, (14) on 8/77/99 in a boating/drowning accident. This board has been a huge source of support & love. 

I hope you will post more when you feel ready.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

Katie--Adam's Mom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2007, 03:45:22 PM »
Oh, ((((Sweetie)))), I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter and grandson.  This is a pain and loss like no other.  I don't think you "should" be better by now or that you should expect to feel anything on any certain timetable.  It takes a long time to feel any kind of relief from the early anguish.  This is all still so new to you and it's okay to feel whatever you are feeling right now.  Try to take the best care of yourself that you can by resting when you are able to, eating when you can, crying when you need to, etc...  This is all too hard and I am so sorry that you must experience this but am glad you found this group.  There is much love, support and understanding here.

My son Adam, 19, was killed by a drunk driver in a fiery crash 3 1/2 years ago.  I miss him more than words can say.  I still see a grief therapist weekly, take meds, share with other bereaved parents for support.  It does help to talk.

Love and hugs,
Katie

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2007, 03:57:45 PM »
I'M VERY SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR DAUGHTER & GRANDSON. BUT AM GLAD YOU FOUND US. EVERYONE HERE IS WONDERFUL.
MY NIECE(CANDI-23) WAS KILLED MAY 13,2005 BY A 18 YR. OLD DRIVER THAT TOLD HIS TWO PAASENGERS HE WAS GOING TO SCARE THEM TO DEATH WHEN HE REACHES SPEEDS OF 80 MPH OVER THE HILLS OF A ROAD & HIT CANDI HEAD ON KILLING HER INSTANTLY.
ALL 3 IN HIS VEHICHLE SURVIVED. CANDI HAD JUST LEFT HER SON(JOSH'-7 AT THE TIME) T-BALL GAME. HE WENT HOME WITH HIS GRANDPARENTS OR HE WOULD'VE BEEN IN THE TRUCK WITH HER. SHE WAS ON THE WAY TO MEET HER HUSBAND.

THEY CHARGED THIS GUY WITH MANSLAUGHTER. HE'S NOW 20. THE TRIAL WAS DEC.2006. AFTER 4 DAYS THE JURY CAME BACK WITH A GUILTY OF MANSLAUGHTER  VERDICT. THEN THE NEXT DAY THE JURY GAVE HIM 10 YRS. PROBATION.

IT'S BEEN A HARD 21 MO. ON MY WHOLE FAMILY. KNOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE & YOU'RE IN MY THOUGHT'S & PRAYERS.

MARTHA

shelly Tristans mom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2007, 07:27:18 PM »
You have come to the right place.  There are many good people on this board. Nonjudgemental, supportive, friendly. 

There is no time table on grief. Especially grief over the loss of a child.

You are where you are in your grief it is very personal.  Don't ever listen to people who say that you should be getting over it. (I hate that phrase)  How do you get over the loss of the most precious gift that God ever gave you????  You don't, you learn to live with it and it takes time and tears and what ever else you need to take.

I lost my 22 year- old son to a self inflicted gunshot wound to the abdomen last year on March 27th. He was arguing with his girlfriend the coroner said that he miscalculated the power of the bullet, thinking he would only wound himself, but the bullet came apart, tore his heart and now I live with pain and grief every day.

I miss my son every minute of every day. I still cry everyday. I still  say goodnight and I miss you to his picture.  I will never stop missing him.  That is just the way it is for me.

Please take time for your self and don't let anybody tell you where you should be in the process of grief. It is your grief and it will get better when it is your time.





Shelly, Tristan's Mom

MelissaCharliesMom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2007, 07:55:45 PM »
I am so sorry you have had to join us...but please know we are all here whenever you need to express that horrible pain that no one else understands, but us. Please dont pressure yourself too much, you shouldnt be "better" or "over it" and anyone who tells you differently has not walked in these shoes.
Sending strength and peace.

Donna Jasons mom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2007, 09:21:08 PM »
I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your precious daughter and grandson.  Our lives have been forever changed and different.  People deal with grief in so many different ways and there is not one right or wrong way.  This journey is very much an individual journey and must be traveled alone.  I will tell you this board has been a wonderful gift to me.  There are many wonderful and caring people here who will be here for you and will not judge you for anything you feel or say.  I have been coming here for two years now and there have been many times when I felt so completely alone and they have always been here for me.
Please feel free to talk, scream, vent or whatever the need.  We will be here for you.
One day, one moment, one breathe at a time!!
hugs and love
Donna (Jason's mom)

Debh

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2007, 06:10:59 AM »
I am sorry for the loss of your daughter and grandson. This board has many caring and understanding people here and hope you find some help and comfort here.

I lost my 2 Chads in a car accident on May 10, 1996 and my nephew Cory to suicide Jan 30, of 2002.

Sorry any of us have to be here but so grateful we have each other.

Love
Deb

CRCmom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2007, 06:23:50 AM »
I am so so sorry for the loss of your daughter and grandson.  What a tragedy.  We are all here to help each other, although none of us want to have to be here.  I lost my 15 year old son almost 2 years ago to a sudden pulmonary embolism after he had broken his ankle. 

There is no journey like this one.  It is a very very difficult road, but at least we can come here and find an understanding ear.

Love to you
LOVE AND GRACE ON THE JOURNEY,
PAULA


sykeller (Ray's mom)

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2007, 07:42:19 AM »
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter and grandson.  I am sorry any of us have a reason to be here.  You have come to a good place; everyone of us understands and cares.

I lost my oldest son, Ray, to suicide on July 23, 2003.  Since the time of his death, his former wife has kept my grandson Matthew (then only 2 1/2, now 6) from seeing our family.  In a sense, it is as if I, too, have lost my grandchild.  My greatest hope is of seeing him again someday, although I doubt he would remember me.  The people on this board have been a tremendous source of support & love. 

I hope you will post more when you feel ready.

Wishing you comfort and peace,

Sy

http://ray-guerrero.memory-of.com/





Lori, Alex's Mom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2007, 08:50:16 AM »
You are in my heart and prayers.

Peace,

Lori, Alex's Mom

rose

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2007, 11:16:30 AM »
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter & grandson.  This is a very difficult journey we all are on.  My son, jason, died 6 years ago in a car crash when he was 16.  Although the pain never goes away, we eventually learn to live with it.  Just take one day/one moment at a time to get through it.  After 6 years, I am still taking anti-depressants and seeing a therapist.  It does help.

You have all the support you need right here.

Paula, Tims Mom

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Re: Have never been here before cant do this alone
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2007, 12:41:33 PM »
:(  Hi whoever is there We lost our daughter and grandson this last year ,and I thought I was ok  But I am falling apart inside  So many unresolved issues  Please I need to talk to someone  My husband is loving and caring to me but wont talk about it

I lost my only child 19 yr old Tim 6 years ago this week- to an accidental drug overdose.
You are never alone.  I have been walking this road for 6 years and I am so sorry now you have to walk it too, but you can and you will. Even though the pain seems like too much, you get through it, by taking one moment, one day, one step, one breath  at a  time. I hope you realize that we all understand and will support you with our own experiences. The first two years are so very very difficult. Unimaginable except to those who expereince it. Just keep reading and writing and talking here.
God Bless.
Paula, Tims Mom