This is the date that the coroner gave that Jason died. We found him on the 13th so this is the date I go by and have, but now I feel like every move I make could have been the same time that Jason died. I feel sick to my stomach. I think I might have said on here that on the 13th I decided to go to work, why right now I do not know. I scheduled about l5 people in that day without thinking. When I looked back on my schedule I saw that I have 5 Jasons and two names beginning with J on that day. It was completely without plan that that happened. Now I wonder how I can handle the day. Next Sunday we are doing the unveiling of his stone. Our friend designed and made it to look like a red rock in Colorodo. On the front side we have his name: Jason Craig Fistel 9/5/73 - 2/13/2005 and a Jewish Star. On the side facing us we have: Our love for you will never die, you are always in our hearts. Jason, Mr. Jace, "J" Loved and Love by Aiko and Jesse.( they are his dogs) There is a sort of ledge on the stone. It is a Jewish custom which many of our Christian Friends have adopted that when you go to visit a loved one at the cemetary, you leave a stone so he/she knows that you have visited. Some of you might have heard of this tradition. At the cemetary, the stone will be covered with a white cloth and the Rabbi will say some prayers. I want to have her read, We will Remember you. After the ceremony, we will invite the people back for lunch. We invited about 40 people. I am getting more and more anxious. Usually, the stone is dedicated within the year of the death but we just couldn't do it. I still don't know how we will but he deserves a permanent marker. I think now is somewhat worse because now I can feel as when we buried Jason I was numb. Had no physical or emotional feelings. Going by movement, don't know how... But, look who I am telling this to. You were all and are the same way, at this point to different degrees. Thinking of all of you and your beautiful children.
Rebecca Jason's Mom