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Parent Loss / I miss my Mom
« Last post by DeeDee26 on May 21, 2019, 03:35:11 PM »
My mom passed away from kidney cancer on April 18, 2019. She was diagnosed in Oct. 2018 and had surgery Nov. 2018. She had her left kidney removed. The doctor had told her that he removed all of the cancer. She came home a week after Thanksgiving. She kept on having issues with her stomach. My mom's appetite never came back. She would eat a little bit and kept on losing weight. I got frustrated because I didn't understand why she didn't want to eat. She always said that she didn't want to mess up her other kidney since that was good. Her follow up came back good. She was still having problems with her stomach. She always said it was tight. Her back began hurting. My dad finally took her to the emergency room in February and the doctor told her she had a mass in her back. They did a biopsy and told her it wasn't cancer, but when she went to the neurologist, he said it was cancer and nothing could be done. He put her on a chemo med, but it didn't do anything. She had jaundice and was taken off the chemo med. By the time she did go to the neurologist she couldn't want, but a few inches without tiring out. I still had hope just like my dad and brother. She went back to the emergency room close to the beginning of April and the nurse told her that she can die home or in the nursing home. This nurse was upfront, but I didn't like her. I still don't. She came home and was on hospice for two weeks. I was responsible for giving my mom her meds. I was a mess during this time because after a while she stopped talking. The cancer had spread to her lungs. Her cancer was progressing fast.

I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown because no one really wanted to tend to mom, but me. When she would moan out in pain it got to me. I hate seeing her in pain. She died two weeks later. I was gone, but my dad was home. It still gets to me because all I can remember is the pain she was in. The hospice nurse said her vitals were good and I was giving her the meds correctly. My mom was 70. I just can't believe she's gone because she was my best friend. We argued like mothers and daughters do, but it was all in love.

Sometimes I feel like maybe I gave her too much medicine and that's why she died. She used to bite me when I would give her meds. The hospice nurse told me to give her medicine when she needed it, which I did, but that's just how I feel. Before she stopped talking she always said she wanted to live and she's in God's hands. She had hope until the end. I cry just about every day because I miss her and I feel guilty. I tell myself at times that I am ready for death. I'm not going to kill myself, but when it's my time I will be ready because I get to be with her.
Child Loss / Re: Where is everyone?
« Last post by Terry on May 20, 2019, 10:31:22 AM »
Hi Paula,

I'm here. Was very sick for awhile. In and out of hospital but I've been back and catching up on posts and new members.
The board really slowed down when everyone joined facebook?

How are you doing? How is Kate?

Sending love,
Child Loss / Where is everyone?
« Last post by Adams Brokenhearted Mama on May 20, 2019, 08:55:30 AM »
Almost 13 years ago when I found  my way to this website it was a g-dsend for me. Now there is practically no activity? Tom Golden do you know why? I haven't even seen Terry being active on the site-is all well with her?
Child Loss / Re: Mothers Day 2019
« Last post by LaVonne on May 17, 2019, 06:49:47 AM »
I came late but Happy Belated Mothers day.  I don't usually celebrate much. Thinking of you  and all the mothers out there. Hugs LaVonne
Please overlook the spelling of "greatful" it's my phones auto check and it seems to need an auto check. .lol
Hello. Are you doing any better? My wife and I are in the same situation
Grief not related to deaths / Re: Feeling alone
« Last post by cecilmeyer on May 12, 2019, 06:13:47 PM »
I am very sorry for what is going on in your life. You are not alone... life is this world is extremely heartbreaking at times.
Child Loss / Mothers Day 2019
« Last post by Adams Brokenhearted Mama on May 12, 2019, 10:18:55 AM »
Thinking of all my Sisters & Brothers in Grief.
I share your pain.
Wishing y'all a sign from your angels.
XO Paula
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: My boyfriend died
« Last post by Zylen on May 09, 2019, 04:09:09 PM »
((((((((Pam))))))))<3 So very sorry for your loss. I often wondered how you’ve been, and it’s so unfortunate what happened to you and Phil. Don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve, or even how long. Everyone goes through it in very different ways and speed. Lisa explains it very well.  And if you need to talk, we’re here for you as you were always there for us..

Love and hugs (((((((Pam)))))) <3
Parent Loss / Re: Birthdays and Angel Dates - NEW!
« Last post by Terry on May 08, 2019, 11:14:03 AM »

I posted your Dad's dates on our calendar. He will be remembered here.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sibling Loss / Re: lost my sister 2 months after lung cancer diagnosis
« Last post by Terry on May 08, 2019, 11:07:55 AM »
I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your sister, Melanie. I can surely understand still being in shock.

Just know that we're here for you and when you feel up to, please tell us more about your sister.

Hugs & understanding,
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