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1
Child Loss / Marianne, Alek's Mom
« on: February 02, 2008, 07:48:27 AM »
I have tears in my eyes and a smile on my face.
How wonderful this simple statement sounds to my grief stricken ears.
Thanks so much for sharing.
How wonderful this simple statement sounds to my grief stricken ears.
Thanks so much for sharing.
2
Child Loss / to Valerie Kyle's Mom
« on: May 17, 2007, 04:07:46 AM »
I haven't seen you here for a while. Please know that you and Kyle are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
Love
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
3
Child Loss / Re: birthdays
« on: May 15, 2007, 09:45:19 PM »
Happy Heavenly Birthday Ben. Please let your MOM know that you are with her today.
Love
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
Love
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
4
Child Loss / Re: To All The Moms
« on: May 15, 2007, 09:43:50 PM »
Thank you Don. It was tough but somehow we got through.
5
Child Loss / Re: Need Advice - Sensative, Trigger
« on: May 06, 2007, 06:15:09 AM »
Rebecca,
I do understand what you are saying. I have other kids that live close. When we all get together it feels like we didn't invite Tristan or something like that. I guess it is easier to feel guilty (or make it my fault) than to accept that he isn't here because he is dead. There is an absolute feeling of loss when we are all together. On Easter everybody came and it was the best time we have together since Tristan passed but we all sat around and talked about Tristan. I felt like it was a healing process. But my husband was mad and he refused to join in with the rest of us.
I think that we feel how we feel in this awful journey. Your feeling are what they are. Don't disregard or downgrade yourself about them.
Know that you are not alone.
Sending Strength and Prayers your way.
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
I do understand what you are saying. I have other kids that live close. When we all get together it feels like we didn't invite Tristan or something like that. I guess it is easier to feel guilty (or make it my fault) than to accept that he isn't here because he is dead. There is an absolute feeling of loss when we are all together. On Easter everybody came and it was the best time we have together since Tristan passed but we all sat around and talked about Tristan. I felt like it was a healing process. But my husband was mad and he refused to join in with the rest of us.
I think that we feel how we feel in this awful journey. Your feeling are what they are. Don't disregard or downgrade yourself about them.
Know that you are not alone.
Sending Strength and Prayers your way.
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
6
Child Loss / Not a coincidence
« on: May 06, 2007, 05:54:43 AM »
I have been working like a madwomen for the last few weeks. At home trying to get spring cleaning and yard work done and at work doing inventory and getting ready for a visit from our corporate office. Friday was an extremely busy day. Running errands, paying bills, picking up my grandkids, laundry etc. then I had to go to work and it was Friday so I was super busy all evening. When I finally got to my nightly paperwork I was standing alone in the store closing out my drawer. All the lights where already shut off, I was running late due to a last minute customer. I tore the deposit slip from the register, without even looking at it, when I started to fill out the deposit slip for the bank I said out loud 519.83. Suddenly everything stopped. I dropped the money and the checks on the floor.
THAT is TRISTAN'S birthday. Exactly. 5/19/83 I think he did this. He was telling me to slow down, take a powder. I think he has been with me and He knows I have been working myself into exhaustion and he is letting me know that he is watching out for me.
That is just what I think.
Maybe I am just reading more into this than is really there but it just makes sense to me.
Anybody have an opinion on this?
LOL
I believe my son is with me and this is his way to yell at me for not taking care of myself.
Love to all
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
THAT is TRISTAN'S birthday. Exactly. 5/19/83 I think he did this. He was telling me to slow down, take a powder. I think he has been with me and He knows I have been working myself into exhaustion and he is letting me know that he is watching out for me.
That is just what I think.
Maybe I am just reading more into this than is really there but it just makes sense to me.
Anybody have an opinion on this?
LOL I believe my son is with me and this is his way to yell at me for not taking care of myself.
Love to all
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
7
Child Loss / Re: Not Sure How Much Longer I Can Take it
« on: April 25, 2007, 10:16:47 AM »
Don,
My heart is so broken for you. Broken for myself, broken for our boys. When I came to this board you were the first person to tell me your story, the first person to make me feel welcome here even though my son had taken his own life. I will always remember that and be thankful for the comfort that you gave to me.
I think of you and Donny often. I enjoyed the stories that you and Gil wrote about Donny and Jesse. I can relate to you and Donny because because I see so many many similarities in Donny and Tristan's personalities. So many similarities in the relationship that you had with your son that I had with my son.
I can't pretend that I understand how you feel about the loss of your son, as I can only understand my own loss, but I can sympathize and offer you the small comfort that you are not alone in this horrible journey. We are all here for you.
Please know that we need you and your wisdom on this board. Please know that God still has a purpose for you here on Earth. (That's why you are still here)
Please know that you and your wife are in my prayers these next tough weeks.
(((((((((Sending Stength and Prayers)))))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
My heart is so broken for you. Broken for myself, broken for our boys. When I came to this board you were the first person to tell me your story, the first person to make me feel welcome here even though my son had taken his own life. I will always remember that and be thankful for the comfort that you gave to me.
I think of you and Donny often. I enjoyed the stories that you and Gil wrote about Donny and Jesse. I can relate to you and Donny because because I see so many many similarities in Donny and Tristan's personalities. So many similarities in the relationship that you had with your son that I had with my son.
I can't pretend that I understand how you feel about the loss of your son, as I can only understand my own loss, but I can sympathize and offer you the small comfort that you are not alone in this horrible journey. We are all here for you.
Please know that we need you and your wisdom on this board. Please know that God still has a purpose for you here on Earth. (That's why you are still here)
Please know that you and your wife are in my prayers these next tough weeks.
(((((((((Sending Stength and Prayers)))))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
8
Child Loss / Re: Post Traumatic Stess
« on: April 22, 2007, 04:47:36 AM »
Marianne,
I am so sorry that some insensitive lout ruined your day. Rest assured that you are not going crazy. You are a bereaved parent. I don't think that there are any words that will make you feel better but just know that I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers today.
I hold on to the hope that someday I will be able to get through a day without crying and that when memories of my Tristan float into my mind I will smile instead of crying. I hope this for you too.
((((((((Sending hugs and Strength your way)))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
I am so sorry that some insensitive lout ruined your day. Rest assured that you are not going crazy. You are a bereaved parent. I don't think that there are any words that will make you feel better but just know that I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers today.
I hold on to the hope that someday I will be able to get through a day without crying and that when memories of my Tristan float into my mind I will smile instead of crying. I hope this for you too.
((((((((Sending hugs and Strength your way)))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
9
Child Loss / Re: My reading with George Anderson
« on: April 21, 2007, 06:19:18 AM »
OMG Dottie,
How wonderful that Tammie came through to you. I am so happy for you, (a little for me too) You have given me a new glimmer of hope.
You have made my day today!!!!!!!
(((((((Big Hugs))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
How wonderful that Tammie came through to you. I am so happy for you, (a little for me too) You have given me a new glimmer of hope.
You have made my day today!!!!!!!
(((((((Big Hugs))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
10
Child Loss / Thank you for the B-day greetings
« on: April 18, 2007, 04:57:16 PM »
Thanks so much for the birthday greetings from everybody.
I am in the middle of inventory at work so I haven't had time to post but I did get the messages on Monday.
((((((((Hugs and Prayers to all))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
I am in the middle of inventory at work so I haven't had time to post but I did get the messages on Monday.
((((((((Hugs and Prayers to all))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
11
Child Loss / Re: Some Things I Hated to Hear…ADD YOURS!
« on: April 15, 2007, 08:30:10 AM »
Brenda,
As I was reading your post I was thinking that what you wrote is EXACTLY what I would like to say to people who have said these things to me.
People that haven't suffered the loss of a child can't possibly imagine how the pain sticks us. It is super glued to every single aspect of our lives FOREVER. There is no escape from it.
Changing scenery doesn't change anything but the scenery.
((((((((Hugs and Prayers)))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
As I was reading your post I was thinking that what you wrote is EXACTLY what I would like to say to people who have said these things to me.
People that haven't suffered the loss of a child can't possibly imagine how the pain sticks us. It is super glued to every single aspect of our lives FOREVER. There is no escape from it.
Changing scenery doesn't change anything but the scenery.
((((((((Hugs and Prayers)))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
12
Child Loss / Re: George Anderson (physic)
« on: April 15, 2007, 08:17:17 AM »
Dottie,
Good Luck tomorrow, stay safe and keep good thoughts.
Tammie, stay close to your Mom and give a sign that you are with her.
Sending Hugs and Prayers your way Dottie!!!
Shelly, Tristans Mom
Good Luck tomorrow, stay safe and keep good thoughts.
Tammie, stay close to your Mom and give a sign that you are with her.
Sending Hugs and Prayers your way Dottie!!!
Shelly, Tristans Mom
13
Child Loss / Re: So Heres The Deal
« on: April 15, 2007, 05:51:28 AM »
Melissa,
We have this same issue in our pole barn. Tristan had used the sand blaster just a few days before he died. You know the gloves in the big machine, well nobody wants to use the sand blaster now nobody wants to erase his hand prints from inside those gloves. Tristan and my husband were working on a hood for Tristan's boss and my husband just couldn't bring himself to sand the handprint that Tristan had left on the hood. Richard told Mike (the hood owner) he better sell that hood because the paint was gonna come off of that spot. He explained why and Mike said he hoped it did come off in the exact shape of Tristan's hand.
I guess I am just trying to tell you that wanting to keep Charlies things exactly as he left them seems normal to me. But I do agree with Jeanne, Charlie would love the slippy floors. I am certain that he would approve of you putting them in his room as well as the rest of your house.
((((Hugs)))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
PS
I live in an old farm house too, down a long dusty lane and I wouldn' t want to leave here for anything. We work on this place constantly but I love it. We cherish all the memories of our kids growing up in this wide open space. The kids are grown now and they all live in town but they all want to move to the country. I take that as confirmation that we did the right thing when we moved here.
We have this same issue in our pole barn. Tristan had used the sand blaster just a few days before he died. You know the gloves in the big machine, well nobody wants to use the sand blaster now nobody wants to erase his hand prints from inside those gloves. Tristan and my husband were working on a hood for Tristan's boss and my husband just couldn't bring himself to sand the handprint that Tristan had left on the hood. Richard told Mike (the hood owner) he better sell that hood because the paint was gonna come off of that spot. He explained why and Mike said he hoped it did come off in the exact shape of Tristan's hand.
I guess I am just trying to tell you that wanting to keep Charlies things exactly as he left them seems normal to me. But I do agree with Jeanne, Charlie would love the slippy floors. I am certain that he would approve of you putting them in his room as well as the rest of your house.
((((Hugs)))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
PS
I live in an old farm house too, down a long dusty lane and I wouldn' t want to leave here for anything. We work on this place constantly but I love it. We cherish all the memories of our kids growing up in this wide open space. The kids are grown now and they all live in town but they all want to move to the country. I take that as confirmation that we did the right thing when we moved here.
14
Child Loss / Re: 19 Months today!!
« on: April 14, 2007, 03:24:56 PM »
Dottie,
Sending you strength and prayers today.
Know that you are not alone in this painful journey.
Thinking of you and Tammie.
(((((((Hugs and prayers))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
Sending you strength and prayers today.
Know that you are not alone in this painful journey.
Thinking of you and Tammie.
(((((((Hugs and prayers))))))))))
Shelly, Tristan's Mom
15
Child Loss / Thank you Karen
« on: April 13, 2007, 08:19:28 PM »
Karen, I think they will be able to use the picture now. I shrank it down just a little and it cleared up too.
Thank you so much for your help. It looks really good.
I am going to try to figure out how to post it on here.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you
((((Hugs))))
Shelly,Tristan's Mom
Thank you so much for your help. It looks really good.
I am going to try to figure out how to post it on here.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you
((((Hugs))))
Shelly,Tristan's Mom