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Messages - Brenda(Jessica's Mom)

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« on: January 23, 2009, 09:41:20 PM »
(((((Don))))) sending you hugs today and everyday.

Wow Paula, i sure struggled with that question when the pain was fresh. The way I looked at it, was that my daughter was too perfect to die so young, it HAD to be MY sin that caused it all, like God decided I didnt deserve her. I have for the most part overcome that feeling now. I still would gladly trade places with her, even if that meant Id burn in hell so she could live.

Child Loss / Happy heavenly Birthday Jessie
« on: December 31, 2008, 10:31:46 AM »
As of 11 am you would have been 21. Thank you for the good dreams of you last night.

Yes, thank you John for the well wishes on this crappy month. I dont post often at allanymore, but still keep up with all and keep you all close to my heart. Heres hoping these ""helladays will be over soon! Jessica would have turned21 this New years Eve.    Thinking of all of you, Brenda, Jessica's Mom  12/31/87-06/22/04

Child Loss / Re: Some sad news--Dena's new granddaughter.
« on: July 06, 2008, 09:47:55 PM »
Oh Dena I am so very very sorry. Please know that my heart aches for you and your entire family.

Child Loss / Re: No family
« on: July 04, 2008, 08:09:42 PM »
((Brenda)) I am so sorry you are having yet more probs with all this. Every little set back is just so much harder to deal with anymore, I know. Im right there with you, and sending good thoughts your way.   Brenda

Child Loss / Re: Help
« on: June 26, 2008, 07:52:54 PM »
((Hunter)) I am so sorry for your loss. We all here know the pain of losing a child and are here for you when you are ready to talk. You are among friends here.   

Child Loss / Re: 4 years tomorrow
« on: June 25, 2008, 08:09:36 PM »
(( Melissa)) I know exactically how you feel, as I just got thru Jessies 4th yead angel date last Sunday. I wondered how Id made it this far too. I hope you can be with otheres that will make you smile in  Charlies memory.

Child Loss / Re: Donny's 4th Angel Date
« on: June 13, 2008, 09:25:53 AM »
Sending hugs your way, Don. 4 years. It doesnt even seem possible, does it? Know that I am thinking about you today. Brenda

Child Loss / Re: Dear Friends
« on: June 11, 2008, 02:21:15 PM »
I know you are feeling like you missed seeing him one last time, but I know it was for the best. Jess didnt look like Jess, her face was so swelled up she looked like she had gained 200 lbs, barely tell it was her. It took me SOOO long to rid that vision of her out of my head. I wish I would have listed to everyone about looking at her car too, but nooo I had to see it, and THAT vision is still in my head. Sending you hugs, Brenda

Child Loss / Re: 4 yrs angel date
« on: June 10, 2008, 10:48:41 PM »
Dunno why this got mixed up, I clicked on the 22nd, not the 27th, her angel date is the 22nd.

Child Loss / 4 yrs angel date
« on: June 10, 2008, 09:32:43 PM »
just adding this to the calendar

Child Loss / Re: It's been awhile and I need to explain
« on: June 10, 2008, 09:26:32 PM »
Thanks, my dear friends. Your support helps SO much. Things have not gotten better, more things show up missing (outside) bikes and tools. I just dont know how to help her. She refuses theropy. DOES want anti-depressants (VERY DANGEROUS AT HER AGE)  but thats it. I fear for her life. I fear for mine.

Child Loss / It's been awhile and I need to explain
« on: June 05, 2008, 10:45:50 PM »
First I am sorry I have negletced everyone, especially the newbies on this site. I am sorry for your losses. Things have been very crazy and very bad in my life, and I havent even come to the site to read as of late. My 2nd born got mixed up in the wrong crowd and drugs, and the more I tried to pull in the reigns and get her help the more she maipulated everyone around her to the point that she told child protection services that I was crazy and emotionally abusive. Charges of course have been dropped but the lies continue, from little things to big, and she has moved out and the cops say they cant make her come back (she is 17 1/2). mY HEART HURTS so much. I dont know how to cope anymore. She even came into my house when I was at work and STOLE the money I put aside for Jessicas Scholarship money.I had to change the locks to protect my house from my own kid. How do I keep going???? Im sorry I havent been here for anyone here latey. I am so overwhelmed I cant get my bills paid, clean my house, or remeber what day it is. I guess I need to vent and ask for some support, as my strength is gone.

Child Loss / Re: HI Im new here and want to share my story
« on: April 18, 2008, 09:36:45 PM »
I am SO sorry for your sudden tragic loss. Cayden is a very handsome little guy. My heart goes out to you and your family. Im glad you found this site, as it has been a safe haven for all of us.  Post as often as you need, we are here for you.   Brenda

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