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Topics - jmorm53

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Writing a journal
« on: July 09, 2018, 05:59:29 PM »
My wife of 43 yrs. passed May 29th of ovarian cancer. She fought hard for 2 yrs. 2 operations and a couple of rounds of chemo. One morning, 3 weeks before she passed as I was leaving for work, she asked me to stay home with her. I called my employer that morning and arranged a leave of absence. I stayed with her until she passed, I am so glad that I was able to spent that time with her til the end.
I have never hurt or cried this much in my life. I wake up in the morning thinking of her , I think of her all day, go to bed at night with her on my mind. I still can't believe that she's not there when I wake up in the morning, and she won't be there when I get home from work. 
It was 3 more weeks after she left that I went back to work.
I miss sitting holding her hand and talking about our day, so I started writing to her most every night before bed, just a page about the days events.
My life just doesn't have a lot of meaning anymore. I've read a couple of grief books, and they say most of these feelings are normal at this stage, nothing seems normal anymore, They say these feeling will lessen in time, that the pain will subside, that seems unrealistic right now.
For now I will keep writing to her in my journal and try to keep my sanity.

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